Im Here.

[Aguyok63]

Finally decided to join a forum. Have been dealing with anxiety depression for last 25 years. It started off with the odd panic attack after my brother died. But in the last 7 years has gone onto panic disorder.
Also manifesting itself physically with Pvc's and an episode of atrial fibrilllation last year while I was trying to do exercise
I believe I have suffered from adrenal fatigue.
I finally sought professional help last year and am now on 20mg lexapro. Everything has been heading in a positive direction until last week I started get GERD like symptoms. Reflux burning etc.
Then last night I think I spiralled into some form of anxiety panic attack as my PVCs had been firing the past 2 days and I was obsessing over them, as I thought they had decreased markedly as my mental state improved.
Last night I finally submitted to going to ER and ended up with stomach meds.
Today feeling better. (BTW have been through all the usual cardiac checks plus more)
I guess the stress of living away from my wife and home is catching me.
Due to work reasons Im away for a few months.
I have been doing more exercise and may have pushed too hard.
Anyway life goes on and and will just keep working at it. My caffeine intake probably was high for me so time to cut back.
Hope to be on here more.
Cheers

[Mr Jingles]

What event or change or thoughts made you decide to go to the ER?

I've had some burning in the throat lately. It actually make me feel better. I've been noticing that raising my voice at all tends to make my throat sore. So now I know it's likely GERD and can stop worrying about thyroid tumors and such.

You say you're feeling better today, that's great. Welcome.

[Aguyok63]

What event or change or thoughts made you decide to go to the ER?

I've had some burning in the throat lately. It actually make me feel better. I've been noticing that raising my voice at all tends to make my throat sore. So now I know it's likely GERD and can stop worrying about thyroid tumors and such.

You say you're feeling better today, that's great. Welcome.



I couldn't get to sleep.
My stomach felt like it was on fire with a knife in it. My heart rate and blood pressure were up and I was having a lot of pvcs.
As I am taking aspirin I thought it may have been affecting my stomach. Plus I was feeling nauseous.
Before I was on lexapro my digestion was bad.
Constipation bloating diarrhoea all the usual things. Also partly due I guess that my gallbladder was removed a few years back.
Thx
Cheers

[Amaze0707]

I’m sorry you are going through all of these. Hope you’ll continue to feel better each day. Praying for you, friend!

Amaze0707

[Im-Suffering]

Thread title - "I'm here !" - I know, so am I ! So let's get to it, shall we?

Highlights from the OP, his life - newsreel, replaying memories of interest, feed at 11.



Have been dealing with anxiety depression for last t.w.e.n.t.y - f.i.v.e. (loonngg) y.e.a.r.s.

It started off with the odd panic attack after my brother died.


I guess the stress of living away (you certainly are, away- you have been for a very long time) - from my wife and home is catching me.


Anyway life goes on and and will just keep working at it.



25 years is enough. All that time, - all you really needed was to look at yourself. Continue to look every which way else, and life will stay stagnent and unfulfilling, as it has done. Sure there will be straggler bursts of momentary joy, but they will be short lived.

How did you feel after your brother died? Did you want to live? In a way, a piece of you went with him, that piece vital for feeling alive. This anti-life repression (sadness) was the catalyst for the heart symptoms. The fear still carries over into today in the form physical pvc's and disruptions that are more mental or attention grabbers you understand. Or do you? 'Hello ! Look over here ! Hi, its me, your broken heart, I want to heal, let go. Can you help?'.

Now we are not saying every trouble is related to death - but, because so much time has passed, each belief that brings on bad feelings is bridged to another in a network, like a web of indiscriminate thought. Time has not healed, but blended the hurts making them more difficult to see and work on.

The job is no coincidence. Being away (metaphor) you are good at, even at home, you are mentally away. This fits in with the overall theme of your life. Separation. Loneliness, hurt, pain. Regret, guilt.

Yes indeed life goes on, but the question is, in what capacity? Happiness, fulfillment, health, vitality, value, vigor, joy, love, openness, peace, security, expression - or .. The way it has been. Now you have heard the saying : the definition of insanity is acting/being/thinking/doing the same things every moment and expecting change.

Well, its time to implement the changes you have been resisting (let go of that tight grip called GUILT over moving on and enjoying your life). Fulfillment and release are just right around that corner.

** This has been your friendly (ghostly) 9AM wake up call (from the spirit world), breakfast at 10 sharp, don't be late ! We have been waiting 25 years for this conversation and chance meeting. We are so anxious over here to see how your life plays out !

Catch ya on the other side !

[Mr Jingles]

@Aguyok63, thanks for sharing your pre ER symptoms.


Responses to I'm Suffering's post:


The fear still carries over into today in the form physical pvc's and disruptions that are more mental or attention grabbers you understand. Or do you? 'Hello ! Look over here ! Hi, its me, your broken heart, I want to heal, let go. Can you help?'.

This rings true to me. The more life I live, the more suffering I experience, the more I think mental pain may serve the exact same purpose as physical pain: to get our attention so we stop damaging the body, heart and mind.


This fits in with the overall theme of your life. Separation. Loneliness, hurt, pain. Regret, guilt.

I see that theme in my life also. It's amazing how easily we cut ourselves off from ourselves, others, life, this moment.