Freaking out

[Jessicaleanne1992]

My car is messing up. Idk if I can get it fixed. I can't afford another one. I hate my job most of the time because of my anxiety. I don't even want to leave the house. And that can't happen because on top of my job I am a full time student. But no one outside of my parents seem to understand what I go through. I don't know what I did to deserve this. I can't sleep anymore. I just want to be left alone. I still live at home. So I could pretty much just let my car go back to the dealership, quit my job and school and just stay home. And these days that's tempting. I'm so sick of being miserable. I'm on 80mg Prozac. Just upped from 60mg. Hopefully that will provide relief but I know it takes time. I also have Ativan for panic attacks but I don't like taking those unless I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown because addiction runs in my family and I do not want to be dependent on benzodiazepines. I just don't know what to do anymore.

And people talk about exposing yourself to what makes you anxious is the best treatment. But I just find that absurd. I hate going to work and school. I feel like I'm in prison. And the whole time I'm there in so so miserable. I sometimes just go to the bathroom and cry. So I don't see where it helps. And it's just getting worse. To the point of I'm about to ask my boss and dr if I can take a leave of absence for a little while so I don't end up in a mental institution somewhere. This is NOT how I saw my life happening at 23.

[NixonRulz]

My car is messing up. Idk if I can get it fixed. I can't afford another one. I hate my job most of the time because of my anxiety. I don't even want to leave the house. And that can't happen because on top of my job I am a full time student. But no one outside of my parents seem to understand what I go through. I don't know what I did to deserve this. I can't sleep anymore. I just want to be left alone. I still live at home. So I could pretty much just let my car go back to the dealership, quit my job and school and just stay home. And these days that's tempting. I'm so sick of being miserable. I'm on 80mg Prozac. Just upped from 60mg. Hopefully that will provide relief but I know it takes time. I also have Ativan for panic attacks but I don't like taking those unless I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown because addiction runs in my family and I do not want to be dependent on benzodiazepines. I just don't know what to do anymore.

And people talk about exposing yourself to what makes you anxious is the best treatment. But I just find that absurd. I hate going to work and school. I feel like I'm in prison. And the whole time I'm there in so so miserable. I sometimes just go to the bathroom and cry. So I don't see where it helps. And it's just getting worse. To the point of I'm about to ask my boss and dr if I can take a leave of absence for a little while so I don't end up in a mental insti
tution somewhere. This is NOT how I saw my life happening at 23.

Hi, Jessica

The good news is that being a full time student with a job you hate and a car that is on the verge of breaking down has a name to describe it.

It's called being 23

Most of us were in the same situation at your age with all of those things going on

What separates you from most is the whole anxiety and panic thing. I too was 23 when anxiety came waltzing into my life. Knowing exactly where you are, I am sorry for you

More than likely, it isn't school or your job that is causing your anxiety, it's more probable since both are stressful, it causes your anxiety to act up. If you feel stressed and a panic attack happens, you will make the association of the job or school that is causing it

That is why everyone here has such different triggers. We felt panic in a certain situation or place so we made the association between the two that that was the reason we panicked and begin to avoid that situation

The real good news is that you are young and you are looking to beat this straight away. It took me a 15 years of trying to cope on my own before looking for help

Once I did, relief came pretty quickly

You will see many posters here that are very similar to you. That in itself is sometimes comforting to know.

The goal will be to find what is the root cause of your anxiety and learning to not believe the false signals it sends while you are looking for that cause

This can be easily defeated. It just takes a bit of time to really understand what anxiety is and how it affects you

You are well on your way just by being here

[av1988]

My car is messing up. Idk if I can get it fixed. I can't afford another one. I hate my job most of the time because of my anxiety. I don't even want to leave the house. And that can't happen because on top of my job I am a full time student. But no one outside of my parents seem to understand what I go through. I don't know what I did to deserve this. I can't sleep anymore. I just want to be left alone. I still live at home. So I could pretty much just let my car go back to the dealership, quit my job and school and just stay home. And these days that's tempting. I'm so sick of being miserable. I'm on 80mg Prozac. Just upped from 60mg. Hopefully that will provide relief but I know it takes time. I also have Ativan for panic attacks but I don't like taking those unless I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown because addiction runs in my family and I do not want to be dependent on benzodiazepines. I just don't know what to do anymore.

And people talk about exposing yourself to what makes you anxious is the best treatment. But I just find that absurd. I hate going to work and school. I feel like I'm in prison. And the whole time I'm there in so so miserable. I sometimes just go to the bathroom and cry. So I don't see where it helps. And it's just getting worse. To the point of I'm about to ask my boss and dr if I can take a leave of absence for a little while so I don't end up in a mental institution somewhere. This is NOT how I saw my life happening at 23.

I am 27 now. When I was 23, I was living 1,000 miles away from home, little money which was reserved for rent, and could barely afford my car payments. When my back 2 tires blew out because I hit some metal bar in a construction zone, I freaked out. I had no money to replace them. From there, I took out a credit card, and paid with that. I have even more anxiety wondering how I'd pay that off.

I then got another job waiting tables and was actually able to pay it off in weeks.

There's ALWAYS a way out. There's always light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to find it. It's good that you live at home. Don't take that for granted!

[Mr Jingles]

>>And people talk about exposing yourself to what makes you anxious is the best treatment. But I just find that absurd.

I've had some good results from exposure therapy, as it's called. And some bad ones. The difference seems to be my expectations. If I go very gradually, with patience, it's been very helpful. If I overdo it, I pull a mental muscle.

>> This is NOT how I saw my life happening at 23.

Yeah, anxiety is not something I would have chosen either. It's been a slow recovery road for me so far, but it is getting better. I hope it gets better for you soon.

[sae]

I'm gathering you are feeling overwhelmed by it all. It happens to the best of us. When I feel overwhelmed I make a list if all things I think are going wrong, and I mean every little thing from major life decisions to having a hangnail. I put the list away for 3 days and don't touch it. I set an alarm on my phone to remind me to pull the list down and start reorganizing it.
I first start by things marking things that are no longer bothering me. Usually it's little stuff like a headache or a hangnail. I write all these things on a separate list.
I then go back to my main list and circle all the things I know I can control. In my last list it included things like feeling lonely and having a dishwasher that didn't rinse well. Put that on a separate list
This should leave on your list all the things you can't control, like the weather, or something some else said, places being crowded. Separate list those bad boys.
Your old list with everything on it, your first list is no longer applicable so before anything else dispose of it.
Take a look at your lists. Your first list contains things that are impermanent annoyances. You now know that when these things ocur that it is not worth stressing over.
The second list is your action list. All of these things contain problems that you can provide direct solutions to. Don't try to do it all at once. It has stuck around for three days so slowly chipping away at solutions won't hurt you. My second list usually turns into a to do list
"Invite friends over for a game night"
"Call grandma"
"YouTube dishwasher repair"

There are going to somethings on this list you realize you can't provide a solution for. They get promoted to your final list.

Your final list is everything you can't control, and that's okay. Things like what other.peoole say or feel about you, places being crowded you can't fix. This set of solutions is centered around how you react to them. This is the hardest set to overcome because reactions are usually instantaneous. Reactions are controllable with work. You find yourself upset over an argument, or scared of being left alone give yourself time to think NOT about fixing the situation but fixing yourself in the situation.
I combat crowds by wearing headphones and blasting my favorite music, when someone upsets me I remove myself until I can logic through a respectable, reasonable response and can open a non ' heated line of communication. Sometimes the person you're dealing with can't fulfill that, and there is nothing else you can do.

Listing helps put things into perspective. It seems like alot of work but it's totally worth it in the end. It always helps me see that things aren't so bad. Hope this helps

[gypsylee]

I'd already been diagnosed with anxiety/depression for four years by 23 (had it my whole life but had my first breakdown at 19).

Part of the problem I think, is expectations of what life will be like at 23. It doesn't help with social media and whatnot these days where everyone pretends their life is so awesome. Plus media - advertising, TV shows - showing you what life is supposedly like in your 20s. I mean this is a problem at all ages but when you get a bit older you aren't so susceptible to that stuff (well some of us aren't). Acceptance is a huge part of dealing with anxiety (and life in general), so try not to think about how you saw your life happening and just see it how it is happening. It makes things a whole lot easier :)

[Jessicaleanne1992]

Thanks for all your replies. I'm feeling a bit better. I'm realizing it could be much worse. I'm trying to be thankful for what I do have and trust that what I need will come through when I'm supposed to have it.