First Post seperation anxiety

[flash789]

First off id like to say its nice to be able to come to a place where i can seek advice and refuge.

I am 18 years old and about to enter my first year of college. My seperation anxiety started when I was about 10 when I had a horrible expirence at camp. I have a terrible fear of my parents dying. General anxiety runs in the family and becasue of it I have developed and been dealing with OCD for the past 5 years. My OCD is much better now as it used to take me an hour just to get to bed, but the seperation anxiety is still as strong as ever. I have been seeing therapists since the 5th grade yet i still have loads of trouble coming with my anxiety

I am leaving for college this week and am terrified that my anxiety will keep me from functioning properly. I am truly excied for college but also terrified. I am scared that i will have panic attacks and have no where to turn.

I have been on celexa for the last 4 years. I feel it has caused me to have general tiredness with little emotional benifit

Anyways thanks for taking the time to read this, and advice/ comments would be greatly apreciated.

[Texan-By-Injection]

I feel for you, I really do. I've been through this all through my life, be it when I was at school or later when i started work. I too come from a family (mother) who suffered anxiety and depression all of her life, so I guess I grew up around it and it's had an adverse effect on me.
Have you ever been away from home before?
If so, how did you get on?
I actually lost my last job (a very good career) because of separation anxiety. I used to see a psychiatric counseller, and the only way I could explain my feelings to her was to compare how I felt to when I was a small child, seeing my mom walking away and leaving me alone at Nursery School. I was homesick, crying, nervous, anxious... and I have felt that way whenever i've been away from home.

BUT... I am almost 32 now, and i have not let it beat me. I too was on anti-anxiety meds for many years, and believe me, they do NOT work. They placate you enough to be able to perhaps turn up to work each day, but as you described, they make you tired and unable to think straight/normally.
I know you have probably heard this a thousand times before, but please, please take my advice on this... I'm a self-certified expert!! Heheh

12 months ago, my 14 yr long relationship ended badly, we sold my beloved house and had to move all my belongings into my parents' home. I could so easily have let it finish me off.. allow myself to become a hermit or wallow in self-pity. But I didn't. Instead, i got online, i booked a flight to the USA (I'm British), and i flew all the way to Texas (14 hrs!) to meet someone I'd been close to on a chat programme for about 6 yrs.

Getting on that plane was the hardest thing i've ever done in my entire life. I waved goodbye to my parents knowing that i'd not be seeing them for months, and i FORCED myself to think positively.
And ya know what? It damnwell worked. I am now STILL in Texas, I am MARRIED to the man I came over to visit, and I am finally starting to feel less anxious and happy again.

The anxiety will always be there, but how you cope with it is up to you. Instead of relying on medication, talk to your doctor about coming off the meds, and doing a self-help treatment, be it counselling or just reading a good self-help book. (i recommend "The Idiots Guide To Anxiety")
No matter how bad you might feel on those first few days, just remember that you WILL start to feel better once you've made some friends and gotten used to your new surroundings. You can have all kinds of photos and reminders of home - the sky's your limit!
Nothing is a better cure of anxiety than success.
Let your new venture be your success, and instead of dreading it and trying to think of things that could go wrong, try and picture the end result. See yourself where you dream of being, and slowly work your way towards it. Remind yourself over and over again that the way you feel, the anxiety of a new place, away from home, is perfectly normal.

And last but not least, remind yourself that you're not the only person out there in your situation, and that others, like you, have overcome far worse and gone on to lead happy and fulfilled lives.
I wish you all the best.
Don't allow yourself to sink into depression - claw your way back out of it, no matter what it takes, and be proud of yourself for having the guts to enroll yourself in college in the first place.

[flash789]

i coulnt not have asked for a more sincere heart felt reply. Thank you very much for sharing your story, just hearing your words gives me confidence. I am trying to ween off my meds so well see how it goes. I have a congitive therapist who helps me with both the OCD and the seperation anxiety so i will keep in contact with him and continue working on getting a handle on the problem.

I cant tel lyou how relieving it is to share this feeling with someojne who understands. Its a real tough disorder to have but i will try hard no to let it effect me too much.

Thank you very much for you encouraging words and ill try and give an update on how im doing

[Texan-By-Injection]

I am so glad that you found my post helpful. I know how inspiring other peoples' words can be, so I did my best :)
One other thing I just thought of that you might find useful... my counseller advised me to keep a diary/journal. More often than not, if I'm feeling particularly depressed or anxious, I will write in it about how I feel and what is making me feel it.
It really does help at times, kinda like I'm talking to someone that isn't interrupting! And then read it back to yourself - see if you can find solace in your own words.
Try writing poetry.. I have a Myspace profile, and more often than not, I'll write blogs and poetry about my feelings (you can make it private if you wish, or readable by everyone), and sometimes, reading my own words is comforting and has the same effect as writing a list... if you've written it down, then chances are you've emptied your thoughts of it, so for a while, you can relax a little. Just try it, nothing can hurt if it's going to ease your anxiety.
Another thing I enjoy is listening to relaxation cds.. I download the ones that are just recordings of thunder and rain and birds singing, and listening to that is so calming too.
Don't be ashamed or scared to try new things. Don't worry what people think of you if you're out in the garden doing Tai Che or whatever it's called!).. screw them, it's YOU that matters and how YOU feel.

So, here's a list of all things that I have found helpful... copy them down or print them off, add your own ideas to them, and each day, try a new one out.
Good luck!

1. Read, "The Dummy's Guides To Anxiety Workbook"

2. Keep a daily/weekly journal

3. Listen to relaxation music such as thunderstorms or ocean waves

4. Breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose, hold for 3 seconds, then slowly exhale from your mouth. (Do this as you listen to the tapes, or sit somewhere quiet).

5. Avoid alcohol, it really is a depressant.

6. Avoid smoking weed. This too is a cause of depression and anxiety.

7. Exercise. Silly as it sounds, and as much as I hate breakin a sweat, a good hard swim or walk/jog on a regular basis will do you wonders.

8. Write down 2 lists. One side being the advantages of going away from home, the other being the disadvantages. Compare the two and record your results in your journal. Then slowly work around to moving the disadvantages into the other column by making each one (disadvantage) seem less important.

9. Talk to yourself! Quite often, you'll find me pottering about the house, talking to myself. LOL. But seriously, I try and picture myself talking to a therapist (or even God if you're religious) and I "tell my story". I even ask myself questions and answer them, and NO, this does NOT make me certifiable! hehehe. It really does help.

10. (regarding OCD).. This one's a bit harder because it's more physical (ie washing hands, touching things etc), but it is one that you need to FORCE yourself to do (or not do in this case!). Write down each of your obsessions, and next to it, write down what YOU believe will happen if you don't do it. What will happen if you don't flick the lightswitch for the 6th time? Will the light burn out and catch fire? Nope. Or will something bad happen to a family member if you don't say a certain mantra before going to sleep? Nope. And so on. See if it helps you by seeing your own obsessions there in black and white, on paper.
Once a week, choose one of your compulsions, and get to work on lestening it. You have a whole week to do this, so for instance, if you close and re-open the front door 12 times before actually going out, then on day one, close and open it 11 times. Then FORCE yourself to walk away. If you feel physically ill, or feel you need to go back and check again, then wait a while first. Train yourself to stop caring as much by leaving it longer and longer between compulsions before you have to do them again. It's all about willpower and stamina. You seem like a strong person, so BE that strong person. You're only 18, you have the rest of your wonderful life to live and look forward to, so what better time than now, your first year as an adult, to make those steps towards getting better.

Keep us posted and best of luck... but you DON'T need it!!!
Love, Sarah :tongue:

[flash789]

great advie, i will put your methods to use. I may pm you at some point so we can chat in greater depth if i need the support