Just introducing myself

[trisaratops]

I'm feeling pretty hopeless at the moment so I decided to join a forum. I'm a teacher. It's almost the end of the year and I'm not sure I'm going to make it. I've had a really rough year. I was forced to go to a school that I didn't want to and it's been very difficult. I've been searching for a new job since November and have not had any luck finding anything. The idea of returning to this school in August frightens me. I've taken the past two days off and my agoraphobia is setting in. I don't know if I'm going to make it the next 4 weeks. I love teaching. I've been doing it for 7 years and for the first time in many years, I've needed class coverage so I could have a panic attack. I panic every day. I need Ativan on most days. I don't want to keep living like this.

To be honest, when it gets this bad, I don't want to keep living.

[av1988]

I'm feeling pretty hopeless at the moment so I decided to join a forum. I'm a teacher. It's almost the end of the year and I'm not sure I'm going to make it. I've had a really rough year. I was forced to go to a school that I didn't want to and it's been very difficult. I've been searching for a new job since November and have not had any luck finding anything. The idea of returning to this school in August frightens me. I've taken the past two days off and my agoraphobia is setting in. I don't know if I'm going to make it the next 4 weeks. I love teaching. I've been doing it for 7 years and for the first time in many years, I've needed class coverage so I could have a panic attack. I panic every day. I need Ativan on most days. I don't want to keep living like this.

To be honest, when it gets this bad, I don't want to keep living.

Thank you for joining. let me tell you, you are around people who suffer from the same thing you do. Giving up on yourself is not going to help. We are all amazing people. You are an amazing person. I was in your shoes. Please read my piece below and how I recovered from being in the SAME boat as you. Please give it a read:

How I recently defeated my anxiety



I didn't want to post this until it had been a while of being anxiety-free.

I was having panic attacks on a daily basis. Every once and a while, I would go to a doctor, get some pills (Xanax) and I'd be good for a month. My job is really high-speed so weekly counseling was out of the question. I just dealt with it.

My anxiety got worse and worse and the attacks lasted numerous hours! It was horrible. Everyday was literally me trying to pretend like I was working, but really I was concentrating on not dying. After a while, I turned to more frequent exercising. I realized that lifting weights didn't do much for me, so I needed something that I really enjoyed to get my mind of these panic attacks.

TENNIS! I love it. It's the one sport I can get sweaty and tired and not even realize I'm exercising. I realized the more I played, the less I was having the attacks.

This was the physical aspect of kicking the attacks. I still had to figure out how to mentally defeat them if I couldn't play tennis.

I was in the Army. I used to be very tough and didn't even believe in anxiety. I decided to apply those old feelings to kicking the attacks. I felt the beginning stages of an attack coming on one morning, I was at work, no Xanax, and no where to go. I then thought to myself, "Wait, I've had a million panic attacks, but so far, I've lived through 100% of them. I'm undefeated when combating panic attacks. They can't ever defeat me". Then I kind of laughed.

Since that moment, I have not had a panic attack. I have felt the beginning stages a few times, but have been easily able to toss it away. Panic attacks make your mind race. They make your muscles tired. You have to build your mental toughness. I love the 'new me' and enjoy the finer things in life.

I know how scary these things are. If you ever find yourself having an episode, just know that you are undefeated against your panic attacks. Know that every day above ground, is a good day.

-AV

[Kuma]

Hey dinosaur. Welcome. Are you getting some therapy? That might help. What you are dealing with is very annoying and can interfere with your QOL. BUT IT IS TREATABLE. Many people have felt what you do and then they find a good therapist and work at it and overcome it. You are a teacher. That is an enormously valuable and important profession. Get some help so that you can feel better and can continue to educate young people.

[trisaratops]

Thanks. My aunt said the same thing about physical activity. I'm gonna try to do a little bit every day. Thank you for sharing your experiences with me.

[trisaratops]

Thanks for your words of encouragement, Kuma. I went to work today and so far so good and I haven't even needed an Ativan yet. Still not eating much but at least I'm here.

[Adi RootZ]

Welcome......