Do you feel like the pressure to always 'act normal' too much?

[littleme]

Does anyone else feel like this?

I often feel like I can only 'act normal' for so long, before my anxiety swamps me like a wave.

Each time it happens, I feel like I'm going to lose the things that are most important to me. And I try to keep the symptoms of anxiety at bay for as long as possible.

I know the idea is to learn how to 'duck dive' and get to the surface again without too much drama/damage after being hit by a wave of anxiety, because you know there will always be another wave, but do you ever feel like you're under pressure to stop the anxiety from impacting you altogether? It feels like pressure from other people, but really I know that I'm the one putting the pressure on myself.

Sorry, I didn't explain that very well, not sure if it makes sense the way I've written it? I do feel the 'wave' analogy is a good one. It's like I'm wading in the shallows, trying to always keep an eye out for big waves, lest I get smashed by one, but it's very wearying to be on watch for them all the time. I feel like I can't relax because I have to be ready for when the next big wave comes in.

[Mr Jingles]

Are you a surfer? I wondered, as you use the term duck dive. I love surfing.



It's like I'm wading in the shallows, trying to always keep an eye out for big waves, lest I get smashed by one, but it's very wearying to be on watch for them all the time. I feel like I can't relax because I have to be ready for when the next big wave comes in.

This is a great way to explain it. "On the watch" is exactly how it feels. Anxiety, to continue your analogy, drags me along the bottom, lungs out of air, mind in survival scream, no idea where the surface is... So I totally relate to that.

Being on the watch is so tiring. Wondering if others can see I'm on the watch is tiring. "She knows I'm depressed or anxious now." Or, "He can tell I'm not really listening, that I'm fighting for survival inside, getting dragged along the rocky bottom." It sucks. And ironically, the constant vigilance seems to in my case be the one thing that prolongs the anxiety the most. Being afraid of the water does not help one to surf...