New Pet Anxiety

[Anna Mae Smith]

Hello,
I'm a bit new to this forum, but my name is AnnaMae. I've been dealing with severe anxiety since I was a child. Back then, everyone just thought I was a really fearful, sensitive child, it was only after reaching adulthood that I realized I have a real anxiety problem. Any change, or disruption sends me into a paralyzed state of fear to the point of making me physically ill for weeks if not months. Every time I feel like I have it under control, something new happens that sends me several steps backwards. I can't even hold a full time job. My husband, wonderful as he is, does not understand. He tries and does everything he can for me, but he doesn't get it and it is really rough on him, watching me go through this. The most recent thing that has really caused my anxiety to spike was that we got a new dog. It's hasn't been very long, just a few days, but as soon as we brought him home, I was hit was a huge amount of fear and stress. I haven't been able to eat or sleep. I feel sick and all I want to do is lay in bed because that is the only place the dog won't follow me. He is a really good dog. He is sweet, calm and well trained. My husband absolutely adores him and they have really bonded. Even though I know in my mind that he is a great dog, I cannot bring myself to really like him. I don't want him near me. I can't look at him with feeling super scared and guilty. It was my idea to get the dog! I loved having a dog as a child. I feel like such a horrible person. It is breaking my husband's heart to love the dog and also watch me goes through so much anxiety because of him. Part of me wants to rehome him, but at the same time I would feel so bad for doing that to him. He was already dumped at the pound by the family who had him the whole seven years of his life. He is crazy attached to my husband and looks up at me with such loving eyes and all I can feel is fear and pain. I just want to feel normal. To be able to walk through life without feeling like everything could fall apart because of some small change. I hate needing my husband to be there for me when it is so hard on him. I just want to have a small bit of peace in my life again, with out feeling like I hurt anyone to obtain it. Does anyone else feel this way? Has anyone else ever experienced new pet anxiety? Does it go away? How do you deal with it?

[NixonRulz]

Hello,
I'm a bit new to this forum, but my name is AnnaMae. I've been dealing with severe anxiety since I was a child. Back then, everyone just thought I was a really fearful, sensitive child, it was only after reaching adulthood that I realized I have a real anxiety problem. Any change, or disruption sends me into a paralyzed state of fear to the point of making me physically ill for weeks if not months. Every time I feel like I have it under control, something new happens that sends me several steps backwards. I can't even hold a full time job. My husband, wonderful as he is, does not understand. He tries and does everything he can for me, but he doesn't get it and it is really rough on him, watching me go through this. The most recent thing that has really caused my anxiety to spike was that we got a new dog. It's hasn't been very long, just a few days, but as soon as we brought him home, I was hit was a huge amount of fear and stress. I haven't been able to eat or sleep. I feel sick and all I want to do is lay in bed because that is the only place the dog won't follow me. He is a really good dog. He is sweet, calm and well trained. My husband absolutely adores him and they have really bonded. Even though I know in my mind that he is a great dog, I cannot bring myself to really like him. I don't want him near me. I can't look at him with feeling super scared and guilty. It was my idea to get the dog! I loved having a dog as a child. I feel like such a horrible person. It is breaking my husband's heart to love the dog and also watch me goes through so much anxiety because of him. Part of me wants to rehome him, but at the same time I would feel so bad for doing that to him. He was already dumped at the pound by the family who had him the whole seven years of his life. He is crazy attached to my husband and looks up at me with such loving eyes and all I can feel is fear and pain. I just want to feel normal. To be able to walk through life without feeling like everything could fall apart because of some small change. I hate needing my husband to be there for me when it is so hard on him. I just want to have a small bit of peace in my life again, with out feeling like I hurt anyone to obtain it. Does anyone else feel this way? Has anyone else ever experienced new pet anxiety? Does it go away? How do you deal with it?

New pet anxiety, old boat anxiety, annoying spouse anxiety, kid crying anxiety, etc... All go away

It's not the type of anxiety you have, it's just anxiety. People have different triggers and they form those triggers through life until, well, it triggers anxiety

You just happen to focus on the new pooch. I focused on my heart. As I think about it, I wish I was anxious about a pet instead of my heart. I would have easily given up my bum legged Laney for some relief

Any change causes stress and that stress puts you where you are now.

Instead of focusing on the impact the dog has on you, focus on what a good time dogs can allow you to have

Same subject, different thought process

Your thought process and beliefs are causing your anxiety, not Rover

[gypsylee]

Hi AnnaMae and welcome :)

Nixon's right - it's just change - but you feel bad about feeling bad because it's a dog.

Most people with anxiety add to their anxiety by feeling guilty that we don't feel "normal", whatever that is. It goes with the territory that we feel guilty about things that other personality types don't, even though their behaviour is often worse! Change is hard for anxious people (be it a new pet or whatever) so go easy on yourself. You aren't a horrible person because the dog is stressing you out. Give it some time and the dog will fit into the family and you'll get used to him. In the meantime, just tell your husband you feel anxious about the dog and need time away from it sometimes (but explain it isn't the dog specifically, just the new addition to the family). I'm sure your husband can handle him while you have time on your own.

All the best,
Gypsy x

[Mr Jingles]

>> I just want to feel normal. To be able to walk through life without feeling like everything could fall apart because of some small change.

You asked if others felt similar to you. I feel this want to be normal. It hurts to keep falling apart, makes me feel guilty and broken, and the thought of a future of it over and over again is terrifying.