Really struggling today :(

[dl1986]

I started a job in a new store for my company last month and the manager there is unbearable to work for. I know my time there is limited, as i have been told i am going back to my old store, i just have to wait until someone on a medical leave comes back. Even though i know they should be back within the next couple of weeks, when i'm at work i feel my anxiety go through the roof for the entire time i'm there. Most times i have to take a step back and sit down to collect myself and then push myself through the rest of the day. I hate it there and am miserable, but i know that i cannot quit and knowing that it is temporary in that store gives me a little glimmer of hope, but not that much. My anxiety makes me feel like i'm trapped and the only time i am able to control my anxiety is when i am out with friends or sleeping. I feel no pain when i'm sleeping, and i'm able to get a good 8 or 9 hours a night depending on what time i have to be up in the morning. The last week my anxiety has been so bad, sometimes i feel like i have a control over it and other times i don't. I feel like theres been so many stories in the news and on social media about people passing away, and it freaks me out. I always have to go searching for more information to find out what the cause was, and then i convince myself that maybe i have that. My friends have all reassured me that i am fine and it's just my anxiety getting in the way, and i know anxiety can cause so many physical and mental symptoms in someone. I just want to be able to live my life because i'm young, i'm only 23 years old and i should be spending my time worrying about what i'm going to do this weekend instead of worrying about illnesses and diseases. Anybody else feel this way? How do you cope/deal?

[gypsylee]

Hello :)

Firstly, keep reminding yourself you only have to work at that store for a couple of weeks. You can cope with anything for a couple of weeks!

Secondly, stop googling how people died! I get that urge sometimes as well but Dr Google is always a bad idea. So don't give in to the temptation.

The fact that you get a good sleep is a sign that you can deal with this :)

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[Mr Jingles]

I agree that things could be worse. You being able to sleep is great. I had insomnia and anxiety through the night, and that seems to have passed. But it was horrible and so depressing.

You said " i should be spending my time worrying about what i'm going to do this weekend instead of worrying about illnesses and diseases. "

That's true. But also what's true is that anxiety does some weird, painful things to the mind. For me at least, I don't feel I have full control or full capacity. I kept trying to fight the mind, used a lot of cognitive therapy. But the mind would always find a way to get through, usually through an unending series of panic attacks. So I've had to learn to let go sometimes and just say, well, I don't seem to be able to do what I SHOULD here. Maybe I should just roll with it, try something else tomorrow.