Scared I have PC

[Scared84]

I will be 32 in a couple of months and am deeply afraid I have pancreatic cancer. For a week now, I have had suddennausea, diarrhea which now turned into soft stools that FLOAT, loss of appetite, extreme gas and overwhelming fatigue. The fatigue has been there for awhile now. I cant get in to the Dr for 2 more weeks! I saw a NP cause I am terrified and she just did bloodwork, which was 2 days ago and havent heard anything. I have 2 kids under age 2 that I am the only caretaker for. I have no support system and no one to help me right now. I am at my wits end, I have been crying all day! I cant even function cause of the fatigue and have 2 little ones to look after. Any suggestions?? And btw a year ago I had an ultrasound while I was pregnant, they said I had a polyp in my gallbladder which at first they said was a gallstone. This hospital is not very good at diagnosing which scares me more. I now am having all these symptoms and just am overwhelming terrified! I can barely eat or function, how do I wait 2 weeks for a Drs appointment? I am sorry for coming on here but since I have no one around me, I have no one to vent to. I dont normally freak out about things, but I am just so ill with the same symptoms!

[gadguy]

I will be 32 in a couple of months and am deeply afraid I have pancreatic cancer. For a week now, I have had suddennausea, diarrhea which now turned into soft stools that FLOAT, loss of appetite, extreme gas and overwhelming fatigue. The fatigue has been there for awhile now. I cant get in to the Dr for 2 more weeks! I saw a NP cause I am terrified and she just did bloodwork, which was 2 days ago and havent heard anything. I have 2 kids under age 2 that I am the only caretaker for. I have no support system and no one to help me right now. I am at my wits end, I have been crying all day! I cant even function cause of the fatigue and have 2 little ones to look after. Any suggestions?? And btw a year ago I had an ultrasound while I was pregnant, they said I had a polyp in my gallbladder which at first they said was a gallstone. This hospital is not very good at diagnosing which scares me more. I now am having all these symptoms and just am overwhelming terrified! I can barely eat or function, how do I wait 2 weeks for a Drs appointment? I am sorry for coming on here but since I have no one around me, I have no one to vent to. I dont normally freak out about things, but I am just so ill with the same symptoms!


Sorry to hear you are feeling this way, I know its easier said than done but don't worry until there is something to worry about, look at no results from blood work for 2 days as a good thing. If they found something serious surely they would have contacted you much sooner. Fatigued...you have two children under to and all this worry...no wonder you are fatigued...anxiety can can kill your appetite and wear you down. Call Drs office and ask for them to let you know if there is a cancellation between now and your appointment. I am not sure were you are located but I found that the Express Care/Doctors care type centers give very good care and are much easier to get into. I just switched to one as my primary GP. Feel free to vent here it helps. I hope i have helped a little . Keep us posted.

[Goomba]

Go to the store today.

Get some Metamucil (powder) and take as directed for a few days.

Your stools will improve.

The biggest factor in stool formation is fiber intake. This will influence size, consistency, texture, etc.

Stress also puts the digestive system in turmoil. I think most people on this forums have had digestive issues.

And, stay away from Google. Web MD will tell you that the tingle you get in your toe is the sign of the fore coming apocalypse. That information is designed to be vague and general so that the pages get money from frequent hits. It is not good info. Many factors go into stool buoyancy. I have had stools that float all my life, soft and hard.

The doctors not getting back to you over blood work is usually a sign that things are ok. If they held information from you that would adversely affect your health, they can get sued, so they are usually on top of delivering the bad news.

Also keep in mind that, if it were something, it doesn't mean it is cancer. Inflammation, imbalances, etc are more likely culprits.

Start with Metamucil. That is something you can do now, versus just waiting with your thoughts to see the doctor.

[Scared84]

Thank you both so much for the response. I just feel so alone and scared. I didnt start getting anxiety until these weird symptoms. Especially the overwhelming fatigue and pain under my left rib. This hospital misdiagnosed me before I went through so many radiation tests that were not necessary. So that scared me with cancer too. But I literally have all the symptoms of pancreatic cancer. I call everyday to try and get in sooner. They even put me on a list! I am so terrified but so weak, so its hard for me to go anywhere cause I have two very little ones and no one to watch them. I am seriously so worried I will leave them without a mom. Idk, I have never felt this fear. But thank you for replying!

[Kuma]

I sometimes find that real numbers can help to relieve anxiety because much anxiety is caused by an exaggeration of risk.

So here are some (approximate) numbers from the SEER date. In the United States, there will be around 48,000 cases of pancreatic cancer diagnosed this year. About six-tenths of one percent of those will be in people under age 34. So about 280 people in your age group. There are around 318 million people in the United States. I could go on with this analysis -- for example pointing out all of the things that are statistically more likely than you having pancreatic cancer -- such as dying from a dog bite or syphilis, or depression. But I think you probably get the point.

Certainly you should see a doctor and find out what is wrong with you. But the odds that an otherwise healthy 32 year old person has pancreatic cancer, based solely on some symptoms of gastric distress, are very, very, very small.

[Scared84]

I appreciate that! I know how very rare it is, but I can't seem to shake it. I am trying, but with all the radiation in the past and then the abnormal us when I was pregnant that they changed, I am just beside myself. I know I sound crazy, but now I just jeep looking at myself waiting to turn yellow. I have never felt like this and it is a scary place for me to be in.....I dont like it. I just want to feel better and not have these pains. Idk. Thanks for your kind words and attempting to make me feel better. At least I am able to vent a little.

[Goomba]

I will literally mail you Metamucil if you can't get out to get it. Lol.

Everything you are describing, especially how you are feeling emotionally is textbook anxiety. Especially with health anxiety, it is easy to look at past experiences and link them to how you are feeling now. Those links are false, however, or at the very least, exaggerated.

When I was anxious my digestion was one of my biggest physical symptoms, second to vision. I had gas, bloating, pain, and funky stools everyday. Colon issues run in my family, so that is what I was fixated on. I had also previously been on antibiotics for no reason for a long period of time. That really, REALLY, messed up my digestion and I was confident there was damage.

Long story short, dealing with my anxiety cured all those symptoms. I have noticed since recovering that my stools are very sensitive to what I eat. I was actually using the bathroom when I read your post and thought to myself that you wouldn't want to see what I just created. Lol TMI but you know...

[Kuma]

Let me ask you this: If you knew for certain that you did not have pancreatic cancer, then how would you feel? Would you think "I just have a stomach ache; I guess I should take some OTC medication and nap for an hour or two"?

Because I think you probably do understand that you don't really have pancreatic cancer. So you are suffering all of this unnecessary distress because of something that -- deep down -- you know that you do not really have.

[Scared84]

I will literally mail you Metamucil if you can't get out to get it. Lol.

Everything you are describing, especially how you are feeling emotionally is textbook anxiety. Especially with health anxiety, it is easy to look at past experiences and link them to how you are feeling now. Those links are false, however, or at the very least, exaggerated.

When I was anxious my digestion was one of my biggest physical symptoms, second to vision. I had gas, bloating, pain, and funky stools everyday. Colon issues run in my family, so that is what I was fixated on. I had also previously been on antibiotics for no reason for a long period of time. That really, REALLY, messed up my digestion and I was confident there was damage.

Long story short, dealing with my anxiety cured all those symptoms. I have noticed since recovering that my stools are very sensitive to what I eat. I was actually using the bathroom when I read your post and thought to myself that you wouldn't want to see what I just created. Lol TMI but you know...


Omg, that made me LOL. I needed that. The thing is, I have never dealt with anxiety or even ongoing problems like this. I def have anxiety now because now I have to wait 2 weeks to see the Doc and prob wait a time after that for testing. If I didnt know about PC, I would be like wtf am I so sick?? Seriously. I dont even look like myself at all. My pain is ridic and I just want my appetite back! I hope this is all anxiety and I am not one of the few unlucky ones to get PC. I also think it doesnt help that I have no one to express my fears to or even hold my hand during these appointments. I have never been so scared, I can't even describe it. I really am trying but my symptoms, especially not being able to eat cause of the pain, scares me. I love food! Lol. Anyway, I hope I can get through these two weeks not going completely insane!

[Goomba]

Lol.

The fear and anxiety are going to exaggerate all of your symptoms.

You're not going insane, don't think like that.

Keep in mind too, that your stomach is right by your pancreas. Don't google stomach stuff! My point is, it could all be something common in the stomach now mixed with intense anxiety. This may sound silly, but have you taken anything for the gas? Your pain could just be trapped gas, or gas related. That stuff can occur anywhere and will keel you over! lol

You will get through this. Definitely get the pain checked out, but you are more than likely perfectly fine.

Again, I'm serious about Metamucil and trying something for the gas. It's simple, but it's an action you can take to combat what you are feeling.

Don't sit around chewing the thought of PC like a piece of gum. It won't help. You have an appointment. You are taking care of yourself. Take some more action with the fiber.

You got this.

[Scared84]

Lol.

The fear and anxiety are going to exaggerate all of your symptoms.

You're not going insane, don't think like that.

Keep in mind too, that your stomach is right by your pancreas. Don't google stomach stuff! My point is, it could all be something common in the stomach now mixed with intense anxiety. This may sound silly, but have you taken anything for the gas? Your pain could just be trapped gas, or gas related. That stuff can occur anywhere and will keel you over! lol

You will get through this. Definitely get the pain checked out, but you are more than likely perfectly fine.

Again, I'm serious about Metamucil and trying something for the gas. It's simple, but it's an action you can take to combat what you are feeling.

Don't sit around chewing the thought of PC like a piece of gum. It won't help. You have an appointment. You are taking care of yourself. Take some more action with the fiber.

You got this.

Thanks! Literally teared up reading this. I am still terrified I have PC, but it just feels good to talk to people about it....even through the computer. I have tried tums and gasx, but nada worked. I feel disabled from the pain and two weeks is sooo long. Not to mention actually going through the tests and scared of the outcome. I have never had this happen to me. Idk if it is cause I am alone, and now I have kids. PC is literally the worst possibility, yet that is all I think....I know....i have. Wth? And if I feel up to going out, I will def get metamucil. Ughhh...just wanna feel like I did even a month ago.

[gypsylee]

I've had alcohol-induced Pancreatitis twice (was in intensive care for a week the second time). Pancreatic Cancer is a long way down the track - I was told to stop drinking obviously or I could end up with it. I'm assuming you're not at that point. So I wouldn't worry :)

[Im-Suffering]

A brief comment (reading) that you need to hear: (below the quote)




Thanks! Literally teared up reading this. I am still terrified I have PC, but it just feels good to talk to people about it..



Yes! Feel good!

We are glad you feel the love from your peers. There is an outpour here. Open your heart again, my love. Allow the tears, feel the emotions, and they will guide you to your truth.

You are loved

The-emotional-separation from love-from self - is at the 'heart' of your fears, the 'emotional' seed of the physical pain. The 'reason' for the repeated fear filled thoughts over time. Life has not been easy.

You are deserving, you are valuable, you are worthy. Feel it. Let your friends here touch your heart. Stay here, until you are warm and cozy. Sit by the fire, and then go hug your children, giving thanks for the wonderful gifts in your life. For the gift of life itself!

Then the fears shall pass, in the warmth of the light of love.

Does it matter the 'face' that fear takes? The terrifying feeling has a story. And it speaks of abandonment, loss, (of love), separation, loneliness, death.

Why would you want to feel pain? When you've been given such incredible gifts? We show you this because you must learn to honor your journey. So we hold your hand, and show you how your human friends here are holding your hands too! You are not alone! Just reach out whenever you feel that way, someone will always answer the call.

Love heals, love is peaceful, couch your weary mind in it. And when you have a moment, look in the mirror, what do you see? Let the reflections of your life experiences (pain, hurts, disappointments, regrets, guilt, shame, blame) flash before you, then you can face them, and heal. Face them knowing you have the safety net here, and everywhere - of love to catch you if you fall. And the courage needed for any task.

Your 'unseen' friends

[Scared84]

I've had alcohol-induced Pancreatitis twice (was in intensive care for a week the second time). Pancreatic Cancer is a long way down the track - I was told to stop drinking obviously or I could end up with it. I'm assuming you're not at that point. So I wouldn't worry :)

I dont drink, but I know most people that get it dont. I am more terrified then ever. I used the bathroom today and it was still floating and had pieces of white in it! White!!! Sorry if this is TMI. But I am really freaking out.

[Goomba]

Your stool turns brown from the bile that is produced by your liver ( I think...it could be the gallbladder, but I'm fairly confident it's the liver). The bile travels through the liver to the gallbladder, and then moves on through more ducts to the pancreas.

A common occurrence with gallstones is that they get lodged somewhere along the path of a duct, causing a lot of pain, and preventing all of the bile from getting through. This can cause some parts of the stool to be white.

You did say you have a gallstone.

Perhaps this is also the culprit of your pain? The ducts move down through to the pancreas.

[Scared84]

Your stool turns brown from the bile that is produced by your liver ( I think...it could be the gallbladder, but I'm fairly confident it's the liver). The bile travels through the liver to the gallbladder, and then moves on through more ducts to the pancreas.

A common occurrence with gallstones is that they get lodged somewhere along the path of a duct, causing a lot of pain, and preventing all of the bile from getting through. This can cause some parts of the stool to be white.

You did say you have a gallstone.

Perhaps this is also the culprit of your pain? The ducts move down through to the pancreas.

They thought it was a gallstone and then they changed it to a polyp. Dont have much confidence in these Drs. So I have no idea. That was a year ago when I was pregnant and ended up in the er cause of pain. They did an ultrasound and said its a polyp, they didnt even set up a time or even say that I should have it rechecked. Didnt really think anything of it because I usually dont freak out to things that easily. But with all these symptoms I am terrified. Especially now with my bowel movements.

[Goomba]

Well darn eeeet.

Though I imagine the polyp could do the same thing depending on it's position.

But, don't get ahead of yourself. White stools are an indicator of many other benign and treatable things, before they are an indicator of PC.

First of all, it can happen infrequently in an otherwise healthy person. Also, even if the origin of the bile flow issues lies within the pancreas, there are many other things, such inflammation,

[Goomba]

Sorry my app froze up and I wasn't about to retype everything lol

But, such as inflammation, that could be the culprit. Don't jump to PC, when there are many other possibilities that are more probable. Your symptoms mimic other things before they mimic PC. Dr. Google just wants you to think PC, because you will keep coming back to his pages, making him money, if you are scared.

I know it's hard, trust me I used to be a full blown hypochondriac, but stop chewing the thoughts. You have taken appropriate actions, and you will get to the bottom of this. Your self analysis of all the symptoms and possible meanings is going to make you more sick than any illness.

[Goomba]

http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?30789-My-Hypochondria-Was-The-Best-Thing-To-Ever-Happen-To-Me

^^

That was my experience with the anxiety part of what you're going through. It may help.

[Scared84]

I am trying so hard. I cant stop crying. I am so terrified and I dont know how to not be scared. Cause now I am scared of the testing. I just wish I had a support system right now. I usually tough it out and deal but these feelings are a bit overwhelming

[Goomba]

I'm about to head into work, but I will still respond when I can - even if briefly.

You do have a support system. We are right here :).

You more than likely have a few new experiences ahead of you. But, you will grow from it. That I promise. You will find peace again.

[Scared84]

I'm about to head into work, but I will still respond when I can - even if briefly.

You do have a support system. We are right here :).

You more than likely have a few new experiences ahead of you. But, you will grow from it. That I promise. You will find peace again.

Thank you. I really appreciate you taking your time out and your words. I just want to be ok. I am truly overwhelmed with my symptoms and my fear.

[Goomba]

If you didn't read it in the thread I linked you -

I went to the doctors once and they found trace blood in my urine. I started to develop a lot of pain about a year after that finding. I could notice all of the abnormalities google said could exist in your pee as an indicator of illness.

Lol trust me - I get that tests are scary.


They ordered a cat scan - and I pooped my pants on the way there from the barium they had me drink -.-

That was clear so they ordered a scope, which is where they stick a tube up my penis to check my bladder.

20-21 year old me was not a fan of that.
Not at all.

All of the literature you read online says that trace blood is some indicator of something awful.

But, for me, it is from a completely benign cause.

Years later I am doing great.

That was just one example.

Believe in yourself. You are strong.

[Scared84]

If you didn't read it in the thread I linked you -

I went to the doctors once and they found trace blood in my urine. I started to develop a lot of pain about a year after that finding. I could notice all of the abnormalities google said could exist in your pee as an indicator of illness.

Lol trust me - I get that tests are scary.


They ordered a cat scan - and I pooped my pants on the way there from the barium they had me drink -.-

That was clear so they ordered a scope, which is where they stick a tube up my penis to check my bladder.

20-21 year old me was not a fan of that.
Not at all.

All of the literature you read online says that trace blood is some indicator of something awful.

But, for me, it is from a completely benign cause.

Years later I am doing great.

That was just one example.

Believe in yourself. You are strong.

I did read the link. I keep reading it over and over again actually. I just want mine to be benign. I am afraid my Dr is going to call right after the test and say go to the hospital now, or come in cause its so bad they cant tell me over the phone. I really am doing my best, I have never had something take over my mind like this. I just keep thinking, with all the radiation I had(which was a lot-from the misdiagnosis) I feel like it ups my chances and I am not the normal 31 year old. This is just horrible.

[Goomba]

If it were as bad as you are thinking, you would be In a lot worse state.

Keep in mind too, that having something isn't the end all be all. Health recovery isn't only a possibility, it is a probability.

There will always be a way to justify your anxieties. For you it's the radiation. For others it runs in the family. Other people have felt sick for years. If you're looking for a connection you will make it. But, like I said before, connections made through anxious thinking are almost always false, and are at the very least, exaggerated.

What is it you fear? What is the worst that could happen?

[Scared84]

If it were as bad as you are thinking, you would be In a lot worse state.

Keep in mind too, that having something isn't the end all be all. Health recovery isn't only a possibility, it is a probability.

There will always be a way to justify your anxieties. For you it's the radiation. For others it runs in the family. Other people have felt sick for years. If you're looking for a connection you will make it. But, like I said before, connections made through anxious thinking are almost always false, and are at the very least, exaggerated.

What is it you fear? What is the worst that could happen?

Death. That is my worst fear. Prob cause I havent done anything in my life and have a rough past 2 years and have been finally getting back on track. I just dont want to go yet. I know most people dont want to die. Why am I thinking the worst possible thing. Cause as far as I have read, the people arent in bad shape in the beginning, they just go downhill fast. Idk....what is wrong with me?? I thank you for talking to me. I just want to have one night of not crying and looking crap up! Ugh. Wth

[Goomba]

This is the part of anxiety that I love - not while suffering through it, but as a reflection tool later on.

Everything you just communicated is HUGE. Your last post just outlined how you need to move forward in your life to find happiness.

In terms of not looking stuff up - you have that ability right now. No amount of info you read will help you feel better. You have already found reassurances, and people here have provided that as well. There is nothing left for you to search.

Start taking action.

Reflect on your fear of death.

Do something NOW that will bring you some sort of fulfillment. A hobby, a creation, manifest something, no matter how small, that will help you move towards what you want to accomplish. Something that will help you LIVE.

Begin to dream, and reflect on what you want to do with your life.

If the condition is as bad as you claim, go to an ER and get to the bottom of what is going on.

Deepen your bond with your children.

Create an experience!

Don't wait around. That feeds the anxiety. Operate in a manner that feeds your soul. Take action. That starts to give you control back against the anxiety.

When you beat this thing you will look back and be proud of how you have grown, and the be excited for the personal journey ahead of you.

[Scared84]

This is the part of anxiety that I love - not while suffering through it, but as a reflection tool later on.

Everything you just communicated is HUGE. Your last post just outlined how you need to move forward in your life to find happiness.

In terms of not looking stuff up - you have that ability right now. No amount of info you read will help you feel better. You have already found reassurances, and people here have provided that as well. There is nothing left for you to search.

Start taking action.

Reflect on your fear of death.

Do something NOW that will bring you some sort of fulfillment. A hobby, a creation, manifest something, no matter how small, that will help you move towards what you want to accomplish. Something that will help you LIVE.

Begin to dream, and reflect on what you want to do with your life.

If the condition is as bad as you claim, go to an ER and get to the bottom of what is going on.

Deepen your bond with your children.

Create an experience!

Don't wait around. That feeds the anxiety. Operate in a manner that feeds your soul. Take action. That starts to give you control back against the anxiety.

When you beat this thing you will look back and be proud of how you have grown, and the be excited for the personal journey ahead of you.

I know. I want to. I am so fatigued, I take a couple steps and I need sleep. I tried to eat more today, I will see how I feel. I hope everything turns out ok and maybe you and others on here can help me with this fear. This is new for me. I will try and stay off the searches tonight and hopefully I can stop crying, I know the worry will still be there.

[Goomba]

It will not be easy, but it is something you can do.

I completely (and many others here) empathize with how you are feeling, I have been there.

Especially fatigue - that's a killer!

It is ok to cry. Own how you are feeling. Your true self is trying to communicate with you. Just make sure you listen.

[Scared84]

Ok so I went out today and I cant even describe my fatigue...I could fall asleep driving if I closed my eyes. Its debilitating which is freaking me out. And this might be TmI, but my poo was TAN and floating! Tan?!? I ate no fatty meals yesterday, so I am real worried. Tan is considered pale since it is not the normal brown. Wth

[Scared84]

Ok so now I am having real panic set in. I went through my head all the tests they put me through when I was 20-23. I had at least 8 ct scans, they found nodules on my lings and kept rescanning me. I had countless xrays, upwards of 50. I had bari swallows with xray and had a cathedar with radiation injection and a nuclear stress test....all to find out I have an arrythmia! I prob am forgetting some too. Doesnt this put me at an extreme risk now? I cant even believe how many tests that put me through. If I had only known what it could do to me, I would have spoken up. I am really having a panic attack.

[Im-Suffering]

Ok so now I am having real panic set in. I went through my head all the tests they put me through when I was 20-23. I had at least 8 ct scans, they found nodules on my lings and kept rescanning me. I had countless xrays, upwards of 50. I had bari swallows with xray and had a cathedar with radiation injection and a nuclear stress test....all to find out I have an arrythmia! I prob am forgetting some too. Doesnt this put me at an extreme risk now? I cant even believe how many tests that put me through. If I had only known what it could do to me, I would have spoken up. I am really having a panic attack.

I would like to share with you that it's not uncommon to associate with past experiences. We all do it. But remember, just because you can recollect an event does not mean you are fated to repeat it in the same way. Separate 'then and now', you understand? Don't blend them together. And since there is no carried over risk, the experience will be entirely different. Let's just say, that by the time your appointment comes, you could be entirely symptom free. Picture yourself leaving the doctors office with a clean bill of health and no invasive procedures. Just a nice easy experience. Picture this many times throughout the day up until the appt. Even if you don't believe it, do it.

Your stool is to a large degree a reflection of food intake (what and how much), and of course, stress and its effects, churning of the system (due to 'imagined' fear, chronic over time) especially with little food intake (or foods you may be sensisitve to, such as dairy, cheese, milk, or excess fats.

Your stomach is of course 'intimately' connected with your emotions.

I am sending thoughts of peace and wellbeing your way .

[Scared84]

I would like to share with you that it's not uncommon to associate with past experiences. We all do it. But remember, just because you can recollect an event does not mean you are fated to repeat. Separate then and now, you understand? Don't blend them together. And since there is no carried over risk, the experience will be entirely different.

Your stool is to a large degree a reflection of food intake (what and how much), and of course, stress as well. I am sending thoughts of peace and wellbeing your way .

But these are actually tests I have had. This has to up my chances much more than the average 30 year old. Its not like it was something mentally I went through, these were actual tests with actual radiation. I'm not sure but I am guessing. Really just had what I think is a panic attack over this.

[Im-Suffering]

But these are actually tests I have had. This has to up my chances much more than the average 30 year old. Its not like it was something mentally I went through, these were actual tests with actual radiation. I'm not sure but I am guessing. Really just had what I think is a panic attack over this.

I am glad that you are reaching out here.

For the next few weeks or until your appointment, balance out your thoughts by taking some time at different points throughout the day to picture the best possible outcome.

Another words, what you want to happen.

Take 10 minutes and picture the whole day, how easy it will be, and how good you will feel knowing its nothing. No extensive tests, just peace of mind and comfort, secure feelings. That night you will sleep well.

You must do this to balance out the current thinking. Even f you don't believe it.