Panic Buddies

[sae]

I don't always feel comfortable phoning my closest friends at 3 am when panic sets in. My solution was to walk to the 24 hr grocery store. It serves enough of a distraction that even if I don't go in I feel a little better.
A few months back I had a bad one. Just the walk to the store wasn't enough but I was too freaked out to go in. I was also too freaked out, being a woman alone in the dark, to walk any farther. I sat outside on the bench and probably burned through a half a pack of cigarettes when the night cashier came outside.
I assumed she was going to run me off. I was pretty constantly loitering the place at weird hours. Instead she sat on the bench and asked if I was okay. Apparently she had seen me there on the bench frequently, but knew I wasn't there to exchange drugs or meet with people because I always sat in the same place and left alone.
For whatever reason I blurted out the truth. I was still kicked in high panic and my filter stops working in the throes if an attack. Her response was so perfect:
"Wow, that sucks. Come inside, no one but weirdo crackheads shop at this hour so the store is empty. I wouldn't mind the company." We talked for a good hour before the fatigue of post panic set in. I walked home and instantly fell asleep.
It became a trend. If I had an attack I walked to the store, chatted with the cashier, and felt better. These days I don't have near so many panic attacks but I still find myself wandering to the store at least once a week.
We are pretty good friends now. It shocks me, I stay indoors too often to meet people usually. On pretty regular occasion she and her husband will come over and we will play cards and have dinner.
I think finding a panic buddy is one of the better recommendations I can make. Does anyone else have a go to for their attacks? Has it been equally helpful? I have these grandiose fantasies of one day helping others with anxiety and have entertained the idea of setting up a panic buddy system that works much like AA sponsorship. Thoughts?

[Kuma]

This is a great idea. I suspect most of us when suffering intense anxiety have the instinct to be alone and "suffer in silence." But if you had someone to talk with, who was non-judgmental, that would be really helpful.

I think some people use these internet forums that way. But there are significant limitations: you need to find a forum that you feel comfortable with, which is not all that easy, and even then there may not be people on when you need someone, and of course you cannot look them in the eye.

[jessed03]

About 18 months ago, a few us (30 or so) added each other on Facebook. I noticed a lot of people make very significant improvements in that time, probably because of the abundance of support they had. I made some very close friends myself.

I think it's a good idea too to find a buddy.

[gadguy]

I don't always feel comfortable phoning my closest friends at 3 am when panic sets in. My solution was to walk to the 24 hr grocery store. It serves enough of a distraction that even if I don't go in I feel a little better.
A few months back I had a bad one. Just the walk to the store wasn't enough but I was too freaked out to go in. I was also too freaked out, being a woman alone in the dark, to walk any farther. I sat outside on the bench and probably burned through a half a pack of cigarettes when the night cashier came outside.
I assumed she was going to run me off. I was pretty constantly loitering the place at weird hours. Instead she sat on the bench and asked if I was okay. Apparently she had seen me there on the bench frequently, but knew I wasn't there to exchange drugs or meet with people because I always sat in the same place and left alone.
For whatever reason I blurted out the truth. I was still kicked in high panic and my filter stops working in the throes if an attack. Her response was so perfect:
"Wow, that sucks. Come inside, no one but weirdo crackheads shop at this hour so the store is empty. I wouldn't mind the company." We talked for a good hour before the fatigue of post panic set in. I walked home and instantly fell asleep.
It became a trend. If I had an attack I walked to the store, chatted with the cashier, and felt better. These days I don't have near so many panic attacks but I still find myself wandering to the store at least once a week.
We are pretty good friends now. It shocks me, I stay indoors too often to meet people usually. On pretty regular occasion she and her husband will come over and we will play cards and have dinner.
I think finding a panic buddy is one of the better recommendations I can make. Does anyone else have a go to for their attacks? Has it been equally helpful? I have these grandiose fantasies of one day helping others with anxiety and have entertained the idea of setting up a panic buddy system that works much like AA sponsorship. Thoughts?


I think panic buddies are a good idea. I have never been the caller, but the callee at 3AM in the morning. I have a buddy I've known since college and he has had his issues with depression and suicidal thoughts. He has called more than once asking if I would be pallbearer at his funeral and take care of his mom. A cry for help. I have driven 2 hours more than once, fortunately nothing happened. We both talk very bluntly to one another concerning our issues, sometimes down right cruel sounding...kinda like a verbal face slap. The only downside of this is the aftermath, I was always a wreck once i finally would get him thinking straight again, fortunately he now has a son to love and he has been great for last 7 years. Except for baby Moma drama, and that is what it is..I stay out of it.

[Saldav]

I think its a great idea to have a panick buddy. The thing that sux is most of you guys are in the U.K. or a different time zone, I'm in the USA California San Diego. If anyone wants to help me out and be my panick buddy, please add me on Facebook. My name is Salvador Davalos jr. I really hope to hear from someone. I'm going through real bad anxiety for the last 3 days. It starts from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed. Please help. Thanks in advance.

[BrookeLynnnn]

I think its a great idea to have a panick buddy. The thing that sux is most of you guys are in the U.K. or a different time zone, I'm in the USA California San Diego. If anyone wants to help me out and be my panick buddy, please add me on Facebook. My name is Salvador Davalos jr. I really hope to hear from someone. I'm going through real bad anxiety for the last 3 days. It starts from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed. Please help. Thanks in advance.

I'll add you! I'm in Ca too. Modesto.

[Jules1979]

I'll add you! I'm in Ca too. Modesto.

I'm in Modesto too!!!!

[BrookeLynnnn]

I'm in Modesto too!!!!

No way!! Find me on Facebook! :) Brooke Delgado.

[Jules1979]

No way!! Find me on Facebook! :) Brooke Delgado.

I don't have Facebook:( do you have Instagram?

[BrookeLynnnn]

I don't have Facebook:( do you have Instagram?

I do! My name is Itsbrookebabyy_

[Jules1979]

I do! My name is Itsbrookebabyy_

You look so familiar !!!!!!!

[BrookeLynnnn]

You look so familiar !!!!!!!

Maybe we've seen each other around. You look familiar too but I can't think of why lol

[glimmer2525]

I absolutely love this!! Sometimes I feel so absolutely alone with this shit. I have what I would call a "safe person" but I know I am wearing them out and only making them worry about me more. They have no idea what panic truly feels like.

If anyone wants to be panic buddies, message me lol.

[PanicCured]

I don't always feel comfortable phoning my closest friends at 3 am when panic sets in. My solution was to walk to the 24 hr grocery store. It serves enough of a distraction that even if I don't go in I feel a little better.
A few months back I had a bad one. Just the walk to the store wasn't enough but I was too freaked out to go in. I was also too freaked out, being a woman alone in the dark, to walk any farther. I sat outside on the bench and probably burned through a half a pack of cigarettes when the night cashier came outside.
I assumed she was going to run me off. I was pretty constantly loitering the place at weird hours. Instead she sat on the bench and asked if I was okay. Apparently she had seen me there on the bench frequently, but knew I wasn't there to exchange drugs or meet with people because I always sat in the same place and left alone.
For whatever reason I blurted out the truth. I was still kicked in high panic and my filter stops working in the throes if an attack. Her response was so perfect:
"Wow, that sucks. Come inside, no one but weirdo crackheads shop at this hour so the store is empty. I wouldn't mind the company." We talked for a good hour before the fatigue of post panic set in. I walked home and instantly fell asleep.
It became a trend. If I had an attack I walked to the store, chatted with the cashier, and felt better. These days I don't have near so many panic attacks but I still find myself wandering to the store at least once a week.
We are pretty good friends now. It shocks me, I stay indoors too often to meet people usually. On pretty regular occasion she and her husband will come over and we will play cards and have dinner.
I think finding a panic buddy is one of the better recommendations I can make. Does anyone else have a go to for their attacks? Has it been equally helpful? I have these grandiose fantasies of one day helping others with anxiety and have entertained the idea of setting up a panic buddy system that works much like AA sponsorship. Thoughts?

Not a terrible idea, but the goal should be to not seek a safe person. Seeking the safe person and safe place is one of the main things that keep the panic cycle continuing. Relying on each other can be a crutch. I understand sometimes it is so difficult you may need this, but only you can pull yourself out of this panic nonsense. Learning to get this whole illusion of Safe Person and Safe Place concepts out of your mind is a big part of the healing process.

[sae]

Not a terrible idea, but the goal should be to not seek a safe person. Seeking the safe person and safe place is one of the main things that keep the panic cycle continuing. Relying on each other can be a crutch. I understand sometimes it is so difficult you may need this, but only you can pull yourself out of this panic nonsense. Learning to get this whole illusion of Safe Person and Safe Place concepts out of your mind is a big part of the healing process.

I respectfully disagree with this. I would like to think anxiety tends to drive people away from socialization and something like this serves both as a sounding board and a stepping stone into resocializing oneself. You're absolutely right in saying that the only person that can truly modify any behavior, not just panic, is yourself.
If one could do it all by themselves, without any support or outside help we would all be "cured". I am a firm believer that anxiety is not some illness one cures like an infection, but instead a maladaptation to coping with stressors.
I have far less anxiety than I did a year ago. I will never be cured of it. Instead, through the help and support of those around me I have learned to modify my behavior, reactions, responses, thinking in a more positive and productive manner.
Of course there is always the risk of developing a codependency on another person. I am well aware I have a tendency toward codependency but recognizing it for what it is, and actively working against that force, is what makes my modification away from anxiety that much more effective.
The purpose of finding someone to talk to is not meant to be a crutch, but a way for two people in varying stages of the same bad brain juju to brainstorm and learn. To claim otherwise would be like saying the alcoholic should stay away from AA or a sponsor lest their abstinence from alcohol is less valid.

[PanicCured]

I respectfully disagree with this. I would like to think anxiety tends to drive people away from socialization and something like this serves both as a sounding board and a stepping stone into resocializing oneself. You're absolutely right in saying that the only person that can truly modify any behavior, not just panic, is yourself.
If one could do it all by themselves, without any support or outside help we would all be "cured". I am a firm believer that anxiety is not some illness one cures like an infection, but instead a maladaptation to coping with stressors.
I have far less anxiety than I did a year ago. I will never be cured of it. Instead, through the help and support of those around me I have learned to modify my behavior, reactions, responses, thinking in a more positive and productive manner.
Of course there is always the risk of developing a codependency on another person. I am well aware I have a tendency toward codependency but recognizing it for what it is, and actively working against that force, is what makes my modification away from anxiety that much more effective.
The purpose of finding someone to talk to is not meant to be a crutch, but a way for two people in varying stages of the same bad brain juju to brainstorm and learn. To claim otherwise would be like saying the alcoholic should stay away from AA or a sponsor lest their abstinence from alcohol is less valid.

You can disagree all you want, but I am telling you as I always do, what I did to go from extreme anxiety disorder to ZERO. It is your choice if you do not want to listen to me. Dive right into the deep end and learn to not fall into the bluff of a panic attack is a much better strategy. You get past anxiety by having the anxiety and navigating your way through it. Everyone that has 100% overcome their anxiety, would agree with what I wrote in the previous post. Again, your life and your choice if you don't want to listen to me.

[PanicCured]

I will never be cured of it. Instead, through the help and support of those around me I have learned to modify my behavior, reactions, responses, thinking in a more positive and productive manner.

If you lived with me for a week or 2 and did what I told you to do, you'd be cured of an anxiety disorder. Probably take about 3 months to get your body back to balance though. Although, you don't need me.

[Saldav]

If you lived with me for a week or 2 and did what I told you to do, you'd be cured of an anxiety disorder. Probably take about 3 months to get your body back to balance though. Although, you don't need me.

Paniccured how sure are you about being able to cure someone's anxiety? You've been on this forum for quite some time. How many people have you cured?

[PanicCured]

Paniccured how sure are you about being able to cure someone's anxiety? You've been on this forum for quite some time. How many people have you cured?

I don't cure anyone since only the person can cure themselves. I offer some guidance and then they find their own way. Probably a few hundred by now I've seriously helped. Maybe more. Hard to know for sure.

[Kuma]

You can disagree all you want, but I am telling you as I always do, what I did to go from extreme anxiety disorder to ZERO. It is your choice if you do not want to listen to me. Dive right into the deep end and learn to not fall into the bluff of a panic attack is a much better strategy. You get past anxiety by having the anxiety and navigating your way through it. Everyone that has 100% overcome their anxiety, would agree with what I wrote in the previous post. Again, your life and your choice if you don't want to listen to me.

Panic Cured -- you are among the most arrogant people I have ever "seen" on this (or perhaps any) forum. You are so sure that what supposedly worked for you will work for others, and you reject out of hand any ideas that are inconsistent with what you claim to have been your own personal experience. If being "cured" of anxiety were going to leave me with your level of pompous arrogance, then I would prefer to continue to live with anxiety.

[Saldav]

Panic Cured -- you are among the most arrogant people I have ever "seen" on this (or perhaps any) forum. You are so sure that what supposedly worked for you will work for others, and you reject out of hand any ideas that are inconsistent with what you claim to have been your own personal experience. If being "cured" of anxiety were going to leave me with your level of pompous arrogance, then I would prefer to continue to live with anxiety.

I've been on this forum for a couple years, and paniccured has always been an ASS, I don't even know why he's on this forum, when he's so negative and belittles everyone. Instead of helping.

[Saldav]

I'll add you! I'm in Ca too. Modesto.

My name on Facebook is Salvador Davalos jr pls add me.

[Saldav]

I absolutely love this!! Sometimes I feel so absolutely alone with this shit. I have what I would call a "safe person" but I know I am wearing them out and only making them worry about me more. They have no idea what panic truly feels like.

If anyone wants to be panic buddies, message me lol.

I would love to have a panic buddy. My name is Salvador Davalos jr on Facebook. What's yours?

[PanicCured]

I've been on this forum for a couple years, and paniccured has always been an ASS, I don't even know why he's on this forum, when he's so negative and belittles everyone. Instead of helping.

That's very nice. How does that help you or anyone?

[PanicCured]

Panic Cured -- you are among the most arrogant people I have ever "seen" on this (or perhaps any) forum. You are so sure that what supposedly worked for you will work for others, and you reject out of hand any ideas that are inconsistent with what you claim to have been your own personal experience. If being "cured" of anxiety were going to leave me with your level of pompous arrogance, then I would prefer to continue to live with anxiety.

Yes I am so arrogant because I take a summary of what the experts say, and relay it to people so they can be motivated to find their own healing path. Yes so arrogant and obscure to tell people the most basic and common sense logic such as don't add 2nd fear, only you can cure yourself, when the panic feelings come, allow it to wash over you, don't focus on finding the safe person and safe place, post links to experts that have good literature to read, etc. This is obscure advice to you? I don't come here to make friends or talk to be people socially. Some people use this as a form of a social outlet. I see someone suffering and tell them solid advice, but I don't try to make friends. Just raw advice, but it is mainly direction. If you tried following some of my most simplest basic advice instead of trying to insult me, you may find they actually work. What worked for me is pretty much the same as what works for everyone. It isn't rocket science. You are probably overcomplicated it more than you need to. That is so crazy to you the concept of enabling a sufferer with the safe person concept is counter productive? Carry on my friend.

[PanicCured]

You would have to be completely off your rocker to think this is not good advice and call me names. My god you people are hanging on for dear life!

"Not a terrible idea, but the goal should be to not seek a safe person. Seeking the safe person and safe place is one of the main things that keep the panic cycle continuing. Relying on each other can be a crutch. I understand sometimes it is so difficult you may need this, but only you can pull yourself out of this panic nonsense. Learning to get this whole illusion of Safe Person and Safe Place concepts out of your mind is a big part of the healing process. "

[Goomba]

PC people don't have an issue with the quality of the advice you give.

They have an issue with how you communicate it and your need to be validated.

As soon as someone offers a different opinion, or doesn't agree with what you say, you become offended. You also make judgments of their character, and where they are at with their anxiety.

No one owes you anything. Ever. Dont offer advice if you need to be acknowledged. This is their healing process, not yours.

Advice is just that - advice.

You may have A PATH to beating panic for people who process it like you, but you don't have THE ONLY path. Discrediting others at the promotion of yourself is where you come off as arrogant, and quite frankly, ignorant.

Everyone is different. There is no objective truth as to how to cure out of control anxiety. If that were the case, it wouldn't exist. Everyone has their own makeup. As you recently said, you don't cure people, they cure themselves. So, assuming your experience with panic is the only experience, is counter productive.

Encouraging someone to jump before they can barely walk can be catastrophic to the recovery process.

[Saldav]

That's very nice. How does that help you or anyone?

It helps and that's the whole point you smart ass. I dont understand wtf are you doing on this forum you low life creep. If you really want to help be kind. And help, don't be an ass. I bet you have never experienced true anxiety. Because if you did you would be more kind. Your just an asshole for whatever reason, all your comments sound like you enjoy hearing people suffer. I wish their was a way to kick you out of this forum.

[PanicCured]

PC people don't have an issue with the quality of the advice you give.

They have an issue with how you communicate it and your need to be validated.

As soon as someone offers a different opinion, or doesn't agree with what you say, you become offended. You also make judgments of their character, and where they are at with their anxiety.

No one owes you anything. Ever. Dont offer advice if you need to be acknowledged. This is their healing process, not yours.

Advice is just that - advice.

You may have A PATH to beating panic for people who process it like you, but you don't have THE ONLY path. Discrediting others at the promotion of yourself is where you come off as arrogant, and quite frankly, ignorant.

Everyone is different. There is no objective truth as to how to cure out of control anxiety. If that were the case, it wouldn't exist. Everyone has their own makeup. As you recently said, you don't cure people, they cure themselves. So, assuming your experience with panic is the only experience, is counter productive.

Encouraging someone to jump before they can barely walk can be catastrophic to the recovery process.

That isn't true actually and from what you wrote, it sounds like you are misunderstanding a lot of what I say. That is utter bullshit that I say there is only one path, bla bla bla. There is only 1 way to beat anxiety and it is you simply have to just do it. Every technique I have offered will help everyone because it is the same shit everyone else says! See this is how it works, many people on this forum see anxiety as a life sentence and they hate the fact that anyone would insist anxiety can be completely overcome. What those people would rather have is a forum where life sufferers can come and hold each other and help each other through their life-long disability. Any suggestion that their doctors and anyone who believes anxiety can't be overcome is wrong, makes them lash out and stomp anyone down who doesn't follow this ridiculous absurd way of thinking. People use this forum as a way to socialize with friends, and there is nothing wrong with that, but that isn't my purpose.

The owner of this website, Rich, did you even ever actually listen to his Panic Puzzle program? He says the same shit I do and everyone else who have gotten better.

Anxiety is a very simple basic behavioral problem that everyone can get better from, and how I deliver the message should be the last thing one concerns themselves with.

[PanicCured]

It helps and that's the whole point you smart ass. I dont understand wtf are you doing on this forum you low life creep. If you really want to help be kind. And help, don't be an ass. I bet you have never experienced true anxiety. Because if you did you would be more kind. Your just an asshole for whatever reason, all your comments sound like you enjoy hearing people suffer. I wish their was a way to kick you out of this forum.

Wow! This is so immature I won't even respond to such nonsense.

[Goomba]

Again.

It's not what you say, it is how it is communicated.

I don't mean to say you preach there is only one path, but when you are offering advice, and someone offers a different perspective, or you are ignored, you get frustrated as to why the path you were offering wasn't acknowledged.

I know how anxiety works, and I don't disagree with most of your content. Your content, however, often gets lost in your frustrations. That is where people get the impression you are arrogant.

[PanicCured]

I don't do that though. I get frustrated when I am going one on one with someone trying to have them see things from a different perspective and someone gets in the way of me doing that. That is what frustrates me. I am in the middle of something and then what I am trying to do gets blocked. And I don't tolerate people telling other people they can;t get better. You have misunderstood me. Do you realize I only post on a tiny fraction of posts here anyway? A guy just full on verbally abused me in an extreme manner yet I don't see anyone saying anything to him?
"I don't disagree with most of your content" Just leave it at that then.

[Saldav]

I don't do that though. I get frustrated when I am going one on one with someone trying to have them see things from a different perspective and someone gets in the way of me doing that. That is what frustrates me. I am in the middle of something and then what I am trying to do gets blocked. And I don't tolerate people telling other people they can;t get better. You have misunderstood me. Do you realize I only post on a tiny fraction of posts here anyway? A guy just full on verbally abused me in an extreme manner yet I don't see anyone saying anything to him?
"I don't disagree with most of your content" Just leave it at that then.

Hey I'm sorry for my language, I've been going through a very rough time right now, and I'm just begging for help. I wish I was cured like you are.

[Goomba]

I don't do that though. I get frustrated when I am going one on one with someone trying to have them see things from a different perspective and someone gets in the way of me doing that. That is what frustrates me. I am in the middle of something and then what I am trying to do gets blocked. And I don't tolerate people telling other people they can;t get better. You have misunderstood me. Do you realize I only post on a tiny fraction of posts here anyway? A guy just full on verbally abused me in an extreme manner yet I don't see anyone saying anything to him?
"I don't disagree with most of your content" Just leave it at that then.

Why would I address him when I am talking to you?

You refuse to take responsibility for how you come across.

You are consistently "misunderstood" and others aren't always to blame.

How you deliver the message is as critical as the message itself. You can make a positive experience into an entirely negative one simply through word choice. And, the reactions people have to your content are just as much your responsibility as it is theirs.

If you don't care about that dynamic then you have no room to get frustrated. But, you consistently cloud your message with frustrations, which is probably why you are regularly misunderstood.

Just trying to shed light on the issue in a more respectful way than arguing. The impression others get of you from your writing will influence their ability to heal.

Best wishes.

[gypsylee]

I bet you have never experienced true anxiety. Because if you did you would be more kind.

This.......

[Kuma]

PC - the number of people here -- none of whom know each other in the real world -- and yet all of whom have a nearly identical reaction to your posts -- that they lack compassion and nuance and that they come off as arrogant -- should make you think a bit.

You assume that you have the "true answers" and the one-size-fits-all solution to anxiety. You believe that the rest of us -- located all over the world and also smart people -- just don't get it. We are simple and narrow minded and unable to accept the obvious truths that you are trying to convey.

But isn't it at least possible that you are missing something? Or is that something you simply cannot conceive of?

If you would disappear from this forum forever, do yo think the rest of us would feel a profound loss, or be much worse off?

[Saldav]

PC - the number of people here -- none of whom know each other in the real world -- and yet all of whom have a nearly identical reaction to your posts -- that they lack compassion and nuance and that they come off as arrogant -- should make you think a bit.

You assume that you have the "true answers" and the one-size-fits-all solution to anxiety. You believe that the rest of us -- located all over the world and also smart people -- just don't get it. We are simple and narrow minded and unable to accept the obvious truths that you are trying to convey.

But isn't it at least possible that you are missing something? Or is that something you simply cannot conceive of?

If you would disappear from this forum forever, do yo think the rest of us would feel a profound loss, or be much worse off?

I've been on this forum for a couple years already, and it's not the first time paniccured has had this type of problem. The reason why I haven't been on this forum for a year or so is because of him. The way I picture paniccured at home is sitting on his computer with like ten computer screens and him just sitting their and just being negative to everyone he possibly can. Like if this is what makes him feel better about himself. Remember this is just my opinion. He must be a multi millionaire cause he's always on the forum 24/7. Idk I just dont understand why he's on this forum. When he's so opposite of what we that truly suffer.

[gypsylee]

I just agree that if one has truly suffered anxiety/depression (or any debilitating illness) for a period of time they develop compassion towards others who are suffering. Even to others in general.

I don't consider myself "cured" so I really enjoy offering advice and empathy to other people here who often are in the earlier stages of an anxiety disorder. It's therapeutic for ME and I don't expect anything from them. If people occasionally say "hey thanks Gypsy" that's a bonus.

Maybe you cured yourself too quickly PC to get the full anxiety experience lol.

:)

[sae]

I have not abandoned this thread, nor have I meant any offense by respectfully disagreeing with PanicCured.
I needed time to formulate a reasonable, useful response. I admit it took me more courage than one would think to even type the words "I disagree". I am conflict avoidant, even on something as anonymous as a bbs, and the mere thought of offending someone sends a chill through me. This is who I am at my core.
My core is not my sum. Anything worth standing up for is worth being uncomfortable, I defended my idea, hoping it would be proven wrong with some kind of factual rebuttal. I was admittedly disappointed in the response I received from PC. I learned very little aside from I had indeed offended someone.
This has been a good exercise for me. I have learned in this that sometimes offending someone is a small price to pay for something you feel strongly about.
The ideal is this: sharing with a dedicated person our daily to and fro, things we experience, things that work to ease anxiety, things that don't work, or just knowing at least one person out there "gets it", at least one person will alway be available when another feels like they are drowning, fading away, suffocating under the deluge anxiety.
I make no claims this will cure anyone, or even that it's a great idea. It is something though. I can't change the world, I can't cure anxiety, but I would at least like to help.

[PanicCured]

You guys are being utterly ridiculous! Just incredibly absurd in the comments you are making towards me. Did I insult one person on this post here? Did I say anything or do something so bad to anyone to receive this ridiculousness? You guys are here to form buddies and a team and to socialize. I hop on, see someone suffering, type very fast raw advice that will always help the person and then go back to my day. I don;t use this forum as a social outlet.

I don't give a shit if you think it won't, EVERYTHING I say is of benefit. And to have the nerve to tell me I never had anxiety. Not that it matters, but my anxiety was so bad at one point I couldn't step out of my home. It got so bad I couldn't even leave my room. I couldn't take a shower, I couldn't go in an elevator, I have been in more ambulances than all of you, I had panic throughout the day everyday and I was addicted to Klonopins. How dare you talk to me like this and tell me I never had anxiety!

Sorry but this just shows you have no common sense. Instead of finding clever ways to gang up on me, abuse me and team up, why don't you just read the fucking things I write! That is why I am cured! Because I paid attention to those who told me how to get better. Only a complete fool sees anxiety as something one always will have so hey, let's all just gather here and make the best of our life sentence of this debilitating disease. That is plain stupid! If you don't want to read what I write then ignore it. Nobody makes you read anything.But just know, if 5 people post, there are 20 other reading and not posting. So just because you want to be a smartass, doesn't mean others aren't learning.

I can see 100% what a fraud bluff load of shit a panic attack is so I have about as much compassion as that doctor that told you to go home and take a Klonopin. It is so damn stupid the whole thing, so I just say hey, do this and this, which is basically implement these ideas as your own and try this and see if it helps. Then once the person gets the ball rolling they figure it all out on their own.
I am not talking out of my ass when I tell you that getting over the illusion of the "safe place" and "safe person" and not relying on anyone is key into getting better. Don't believe me, don't listen to me. Do whatever the fuck you want! But don't just talk shit to me when I write the most simplest basic logic that anyone who beat anxiety understands.

I didn't kill your dog, fuck your sister, invade your home, break your guitar, hit your car, curse you out or anything like that. I actually have written an immense amount of data and suggestions that will help anyone and everyone on this site! They aren't weird esoteric bizarre unique concepts. I don't wrote how I am channeling spirits or tell you to look deep into your daddy issues. They are ridiculously simply guides. You are not required to read what I write or follow anything. But what idiot wouldn't at least consider it? I wrote in such simple terms. You just want to hold on to this identity you created called anxiety and to lose it you fear you are losing who you are. You are also angry someone makes it sound so easy to get better, when you have struggled for so long.

Your mindset is all fucked up if you are asking any question other than, "How can I get back to normal?" If you won't listen to me, than listen to anyone else anywhere who had bad anxiety and got better. Free programs, paid programs, or anyone just here on this forum who has gotten better. Why oh why would you listen to people who have not even got better themselves? What the hell are you doing here hanging out like it's a chatroom discussing Star Wars or music. I take this stuff seriously and always try and help people who need help. I don't troll or use this to play around. I talk about serious stuff.

At least I deserve the respect that I at least try and sincerely help people with nothing in return!

[gypsylee]

You may need anger management classes.

[Im-Suffering]

This would benefit the forum as a stickied thread, in ways too innumerable to measure. I am not saying sticky 'this' thread, but to start another used for finding buddies and initial contact.

If you build it, they will come. This message board is experiencing an expansion or growth simply because of people like you. Dedicated to helping in any unique special way. (All of you). Gypsylee, I'm looking at you.


I have not abandoned this thread, nor have I meant any offense by respectfully disagreeing with PanicCured.
I needed time to formulate a reasonable, useful response. I admit it took me more courage than one would think to even type the words "I disagree". I am conflict avoidant, even on something as anonymous as a bbs, and the mere thought of offending someone sends a chill through me. This is who I am at my core.
My core is not my sum. Anything worth standing up for is worth being uncomfortable, I defended my idea, hoping it would be proven wrong with some kind of factual rebuttal. I was admittedly disappointed in the response I received from PC. I learned very little aside from I had indeed offended someone.
This has been a good exercise for me. I have learned in this that sometimes offending someone is a small price to pay for something you feel strongly about.


The ideal is this: sharing with a dedicated person our daily to and fro, things we experience, things that work to ease anxiety, things that don't work, or just knowing at least one person out there "gets it", at least one person will alway be available when another feels like they are drowning, fading away, suffocating under the deluge anxiety.


I make no claims this will cure anyone, or even that it's a great idea. It is something though. I can't change the world, I can't cure anxiety, but I would at least like to help.

And so you have learned much - you are truly an inspiration.

Let me magnify or expand upon the ideal that your have created:

"The ideal is this: sharing with a dedicated person our daily to and fro, things we experience, things that work to ease anxiety, things that don't work, or just knowing at least one person out there "gets it", at least one person will alway be available when another feels like they are drowning, fading away, suffocating under the deluge anxiety"

Rather than allow the thread to be diverted, organize this plan and take action. Request to have a dedicated thread stickied. Have everyone buddy up, see? And schedule twice daily 'check-ins' through email PM or telephone, etc. This time with the buddy will take its own natural flow and work to be theraputic, calming, healing.. There can also be an 'emergency' clause where it would not be seen as an intrusion if it were other times than the twice scheduled 'appointments' per day.

And in regards to changing the world, you already have. One day you will see in yourself what we see. And you too will smile.

As a sidenote : Our good friend PanicCured has indeed used this buddy technique in his darkest hour, as an 'angel' came to save him via telephone (he can explain if he wishes). That good deed changed the course of his history (he is indeed aware of this), and history in general. This is how you change the world from your own little corner of it.

Request a sticky through any senior member Jessed03, Dahila, Nixon or even PanicCured who has his own stickied threads.

[Kuma]

Some selections from Panic-Cured's post:
You guys are being utterly ridiculous! Just incredibly absurd ... I don't give a shit if you think it won't, EVERYTHING I say is of benefit... you have no common sense. ... why don't you just read the fucking things I write! That is why I am cured! . . . That is plain stupid . . . Don't believe me, don't listen to me. Do whatever the fuck you want . . . I actually have written an immense amount of data and suggestions that will help anyone and everyone on this site! I don't troll or use this to play around....

I actually do think you are a troll, and that you are writing this nonsense just to get people going.

The other alternative is that you are simply tone deaf and do not understand how you come off to others, and how your arrogant tone, and complete lack of nuance or empathy undercut any value that there might be in your message.

Maybe -- if you are not just messing around as a troll -- you think you are providing "tough love" to people who need it and that your "plain spoken" approach is just what the doctor ordered. If that is the case, you should be able to understand from the many responses you have received, from people who I assure you are not acting in concert but instead each have their own independent views, that the message is not being heard as intended, and that your tone and approach severely undercuts what you are intending to achieve. Do you have, under such circumstances, the ability to (substantially) modulate your tone and alter your approach, so that you can perhaps be effective? Or are you so cock-sure that you are right and everyone else is wrong that you will continue, like a bull in a china shop, doing the same things over and over again, and having -- predictably -- the same impact, which is that people dismiss you, and therefore your message?

[jessed03]

I have to check the dates of these threads when I read them. They always resemble threads that were posted a month, two months, three months ago, etc.

Panic, so many threads you're in seem to go the same way, man. ;)

[gypsylee]

Just thinking about this and realised I do have a "panic buddy". I have a friend in Switzerland who I've only ever talked to online but it's been going for nearly ten years now. We didn't meet through any anxiety related thing but I swear she is a sister I never knew about we are that similar.

I agree with PC that getting through shit completely on your own is good for anxiety but there's always more than one way to skin a cat. Life is hard enough without having people to talk to who get you.

[PanicCured]

You guys are acting completely insane and completely out of line. It is a good thing I have thick skin but don't ever ever do this to anyone else on here. Never gang up and hurl verbal abuses as a team to someone you don't even know like a witch hunt to anyone because you could seriously cause someone to get so incredibly hurt and go off the deep end.

For those reading that are suffering, this is all I tried to say. As usual, like all things I write, very simple, very basic, very logical, and doesn't really require long standing debate:


The goal should be to not seek a safe person. Seeking the safe person and safe place is one of the main things that keep the panic cycle continuing. Relying on each other can be a crutch.

I understand sometimes it is so difficult you may need this, but only you can pull yourself out of this panic nonsense.

Yes I used to have my safe people and safe places to the MAX! As I stated in the last sentence, I see where this can be needed, but many people need to understand the ultimate goal is transcend this illusion of a safe place and safe person. Some people are not aware of this detail that goes overlooked. Probably the best thing at that time in my life would have been people telling me to not rely on safe place and safe person since they are illusions anyway.

I know many people out there gain a lot from the very simple easy to follow stuff I write, that's good enough for me.

Bring on the insults and flame wars!

[Goomba]

People know how to read PC.

They don't need you to tell them what the right thing to read is. They are capable of forming their own opinions on what you write.

Oh wait...

[Dahila]

You may need anger management classes.

This..................

I had not posted here, but in my at least 55 years of anxiety journey I have some experience, dealing with it. Everyone is different and manages differently. I am the best person when there is a crisis of some kind. I do understand the pain, the isolation, the lack of support. Heck I could not even say anxiety, it was something you never talked about it; shameful.

Having someone who is there, when the anxiety is a its peak, does not mean that you will need that particular person more than twice or trice. Have been there and felt it.
We should support each other, otherwise we are lost.

Kuma said somewhere in this thread; that anxious people have social anxiety,tend to isolate themselves, (I do) and having someone who goes through the same pain, will easy yours.
Anxious or not, depressed or not, we are pack animals and our anxiety gets worse, without any support:))

I agree with IMS the thread should be sticky:) it is like a chat room where you can get help if needed,

[Im-Suffering]

I agree with IMS the thread should be sticky:) it is like a chat room where you can get help if needed,



Yes ! (A new thread as this one has seen some 'challenges').

But not through chat only, The thread would be a place to organize. Where once someone meets a buddy they can exchange telephone numbers, say, and designate a few times a day or week to talk - with emergency times as needed in between that.

There are multiple benefits there. And an added layer of depth to the overall forums.

Who wants to layout the outline for an OP?