frs31
04-20-2015, 01:55 PM
I'm new here, thought I'd give this a try since it's hard to relate to anyone I know about my anxiety. I'm a 31 year old man that started experiencing anxiety, panic disorder and have been diagnosed with agoraphobia. It started after my second tour from Iraq, I had a anxiety/panic attack while at the gym. I thought I was dying and went to the emergency room. Afterwards I had several tests to see if it was something internal like a heart condition, but it wasn't. It was anxiety, it wasn't easy for the longest time and I used alcohol to try and relax in public. All my friends couldn't understand why I didn't like going out. Public places made me super anxious. Then, my mother was admitted into an institution for paranoid schizophrenia, my world came down around me. Seeing her like that and talking to herself creeped me out beyond scared. I couldn't sleep unless I held the bible in my arms at night. Not to mention, I seen a movie many years back that freaked me out too, and still to this day images from that movie creep me out so much. I know what is real and what is not, but my mind just starts running out of control and in my mind I keep thinking "what if this, what if that, what if I lose control of myself, what is wrong with me and why do I keep thinking of weird things." This is a daily thing, when I see something that reminds me of something that creeps me out I can't get it out if my mind. Lately it's been really tough. I don't have a job right now and I sleep a lot, at night I find it hard to fall asleep and have been taking zzzquil to help. I don't know if it's cause I have too much time on my hands, if Im depressed from all the weight I've gained and my low self esteem, I just don't know. But, reading some of y'all's posts have made me realize that I'm not the only one who struggles with problems similar to mine. Sorry for rambling on and on, but this is my story in short. God bless you.
Randy
Randy