Hey, everyone. Newbie.

[justexhale]

Hi everyone,

New, here. I have had anxiety my whole life. Was medicated for a couple of years, but decided that medication was not solving my problems, but was doing a fantastic job of turning me into a zombie. It just didn't work for me.

I've tried distraction, exercise, you-name-it, but cannot seem to wind down after coming home from work. Work has always been at the root of it, in part because the social aspect of it is so draining (judgment), and also because I fear the worst-case completely irrational scenario: getting fired/demoted for making mistakes. I rewind the day and critique myself over and over.

When I am not at work, I am better, but still worrying about it.

The whole thing is stupid and embarrassing to me. I know the thoughts are irrational, but cannot stop them and the way my body reacts. I hope this forum can give me some pointers.

Thanks for listening.

[gypsylee]

Hello and welcome :) which medication(s) did you try?

[justexhale]

Hi! I was on Lexapro and a benzo (klonopin) for maybe two years. At some point, I got tired of my doctor just stepping up the dosage at each visit, so I quit all of it. Never went back. I haven't been terrible without medication--I'm a pretty normal person on weekends--but the anxiety tends to really be heightened at the end of the work day.

Sometimes distraction with chores or tasks can work, but on the really intense days, it's hard to even focus enough on something else to stop the "rewind." I can't even be still long enough to meditate. I have tried exercise on the rough days, but my heart is already racing, so I tire out within a few minutes.

[jessed03]

If you do want to meditate, you can start with a really short time. I know a lot of books recommend starting with 10 minutes or 15 minutes, but sitting on the mat for just a few minutes is ok too.

It's pretty amazing the way the mind starts to slow down. It happens fairly quickly too. One day you can only do three minutes, then a week later you find five to be easy.

Anyway, that's just an idea. :)

Nice to meet you, and welcome to the forum!

[Chiliphil1]

Welcome to the forum! I too had anxiety issues coming from my work, it's what set me off in the first place. The best thing you can do is find another job, I know.. bad advice but honestly once I was out of the job that caused it my life improved 100%. You may just be in a job that you are not agreeing with mentally and that can do all kinds of things to you. Now, if you don't want to follow that advice I understand so what I would recommend to you in that case would be to learn how to calm yourself, easier said than done, I know but it's really accomplished in steps. Meditation is the best and easiest way to achieve this, but you have to go slow remember that the first time you do it you are probably not going to have favorable results but keep at it, start with short times like 5 minutes and really all you need to do is sit in a quiet dark room, after a short time of doing this at least once a day you will start to notice that it becomes easier to relax in your safe place. Eventually you will want to increase your times and once you do that you will have even better results, just make sure that you are in a completely quiet and distraction free environment, this is the key. As you sit let your thoughts come and go, don't try to make them go away, just simply let them be and don't hang on them, it becomes easier with time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes, and also once you have yourself used to this "safe place" you can employ it at any time, if you're stressed and having a hard time just go to the safe place and it will help.

I am going to give you my analogy that I give to a lot of people.

Imagine your body as a cup, anxiety is the liquid in the cup. As the cup fills the anxiety level rises, it takes time to build up the level and the more anxious you are the higher the level gets and the longer the cup stays full. Once the cup is full it doesn't take much to make it overflow and this is the really bad anxiety or panic attacks. Now, if the cup is empty you can take a lot and it won't fill, it will never overflow. Anything and everything you can do to empty this cup helps overall, so having 5 minutes of peaceful time will slowly empty the cup for you therefore it allows you to be able to face stressful situations without your cup overflowing. Start slow and work up, just do not become frustrated when it doesn't work right away, it takes time and patience.

[gypsylee]

Hi! I was on Lexapro and a benzo (klonopin) for maybe two years. At some point, I got tired of my doctor just stepping up the dosage at each visit, so I quit all of it. Never went back. I haven't been terrible without medication--I'm a pretty normal person on weekends--but the anxiety tends to really be heightened at the end of the work day.

Sometimes distraction with chores or tasks can work, but on the really intense days, it's hard to even focus enough on something else to stop the "rewind." I can't even be still long enough to meditate. I have tried exercise on the rough days, but my heart is already racing, so I tire out within a few minutes.

Yeah I'm on Lexapro and occasional benzos. I've been on a few SSRIs and they've never made me a zombie. But I've heard stories from others who've had that effect.

Have you tried diaphragmatic breathing? I've found I'm much better at that than meditating because it's more physical. Of course the best thing is to combine them. But you could start with the breathing.

Exercise is good - I just go for walks nowadays rather than anything more strenuous, and only for about half an hour.

Also I find talking to people on here quite therapeutic because they understand what it's like to suffer anxiety. As my GP says "talking changes the brain" (typing in this case).

So those are some non-medication things I recommend :)

[Im-Suffering]

Here comes the broken record -

You have tried everything.... except the truth.





"I've tried distraction, exercise, you-name-it" -

Everything besides facing it.

"I fear the worst-case completely irrational scenario: getting fired/demoted for making mistakes." -

This fear is stressful, careful examination of your value judgments is in order

"I rewind the day and critique myself over and over."-

Who was so critical towards you? Destroying self esteem and worth.

A parent perhaps? Caretaker. You are a product of your conditioning.


The whole thing is stupid and embarrassing to me.



If you did not hold false ideas about who you are, you would rewind the day and praise yourself. So that is the goal.

Healing (changing/releasing) a false idea (belief) about who you are in relation to self and the world (peers), will automatically generate the opposite feelings/thoughts/emotions to what you feel now. There is no other way.

It is not inherent or innate to the species (human) to self-criticize other than to simply learn from ones mistakes, unless someone taught that to you by being overly critical toward your every move (abuse).

Psychologically speaking, you must go into those areas that scare you the most (into self). There you find the healing gifts.