sae
04-15-2015, 04:59 PM
I have been mostly sealed away in some way or another for about 5 years. My social circle is very small and select. Many years ago I was quite the socialite for a time.
I receive a card in the mail a month ago inviting me to a wedding held on my birthday. Normally I would politely decline, but I had made a promise in high school I would attend her wedding. She is one of those types whose main goal was to be a bride. It only took her 35 years. Anyways, I digress. She has turned all out bridezilla and somehow it has turned from my tentative attendance to being an integral part of her big day as she progressively pissed off more and more people.
Here in lie the problems:
Her family thinks it is a terrible idea to invite me to a wedding. In their eyes they see it as cruel to invite a widow to these types of things, that I will go crazy and cause undue stress.
About 95% of the people in attendance have not seen me in about a decade, or had not heard from me since I went full shut in. My sweet friend (and I mean this in earnest, not sarcastically) sent a secret email warning her guests not to ask about my late husband. I'm still not sure how to take this.
I have been obsessed, and I mean OBSESSED, over my dress, hair, make up for this event. I have altered this dress at least three times already, spent countless hours watching hair and makeup tutorials because honestly I know nothing about either. This has kept me up whole nights, fearing that if i did not show up "on point" (as my kid would say)that i looked sick or depressed. This in not my big day. In no way do I want to be a distraction at this wedding but since it was outed I was attending and acting as photographer it's as if people are flocking to this shindig to catch a Bigfoot sighting.
In short I am in store for an evening of uncomfortable encounters, eyes boring into me, while I gently sip on something to ease the nervous stomach I will inevitably have buried in the layers of the magnanimous gown chosen for me. Attending is the right thing to do even though in reality I am a selfish twat waffle and would rather spend my birthday at home in relative quiet, curled up with a modest crown and coke and my new book.
I receive a card in the mail a month ago inviting me to a wedding held on my birthday. Normally I would politely decline, but I had made a promise in high school I would attend her wedding. She is one of those types whose main goal was to be a bride. It only took her 35 years. Anyways, I digress. She has turned all out bridezilla and somehow it has turned from my tentative attendance to being an integral part of her big day as she progressively pissed off more and more people.
Here in lie the problems:
Her family thinks it is a terrible idea to invite me to a wedding. In their eyes they see it as cruel to invite a widow to these types of things, that I will go crazy and cause undue stress.
About 95% of the people in attendance have not seen me in about a decade, or had not heard from me since I went full shut in. My sweet friend (and I mean this in earnest, not sarcastically) sent a secret email warning her guests not to ask about my late husband. I'm still not sure how to take this.
I have been obsessed, and I mean OBSESSED, over my dress, hair, make up for this event. I have altered this dress at least three times already, spent countless hours watching hair and makeup tutorials because honestly I know nothing about either. This has kept me up whole nights, fearing that if i did not show up "on point" (as my kid would say)that i looked sick or depressed. This in not my big day. In no way do I want to be a distraction at this wedding but since it was outed I was attending and acting as photographer it's as if people are flocking to this shindig to catch a Bigfoot sighting.
In short I am in store for an evening of uncomfortable encounters, eyes boring into me, while I gently sip on something to ease the nervous stomach I will inevitably have buried in the layers of the magnanimous gown chosen for me. Attending is the right thing to do even though in reality I am a selfish twat waffle and would rather spend my birthday at home in relative quiet, curled up with a modest crown and coke and my new book.