Anxiety and College

[murphy]

I have struggled with panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder for many many years. Currently I am a senior in high school and I feel that I've made a lot of strides with my anxiety. For example, during my freshman-junior year I would have weeks where I couldn't go to school for the fear of not being able to leave made me think I would have a panic attack. I am writing because I am currently trying to decide where to go to college. This is filling me with dread because one thing I am anxious about is sleeping over at friends houses or going to camps etc, and that is essentially what college is. Let me know if you have any tips or ideas because I dont want my anxiety to hold me back in college but right now I feel like my anxiety will be too difficult for me to deal with once Im there and I will drop out.

[Kuma]

I have struggled with panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder for many many years. Currently I am a senior in high school and I feel that I've made a lot of strides with my anxiety. For example, during my freshman-junior year I would have weeks where I couldn't go to school for the fear of not being able to leave made me think I would have a panic attack. I am writing because I am currently trying to decide where to go to college. This is filling me with dread because one thing I am anxious about is sleeping over at friends houses or going to camps etc, and that is essentially what college is. Let me know if you have any tips or ideas because I dont want my anxiety to hold me back in college but right now I feel like my anxiety will be too difficult for me to deal with once Im there and I will drop out.

A few thoughts:

First, going off to college is a great opportunity and can be a lot of fun. Many of us say it was the best years of our lives. So -- while it is natural to be concerned about anxiety -- try to go into it with an upbeat and optimistic attitude. You will study interesting subjects, meet a diverse group of people, experience personal and intellectual growth, make life-long friends, get better at ultimate Frisbee (or whatever your passion is), develop an affinity for pizza and cheap beer, and prepare yourself for a career. It really is a great time...

Second, some people find that, while every new stage of life carries with it some stresses, going off to college can actually reduce your anxiety, over time, because you will be free of some of the triggers that contributed to your anxiety. I don't know what those triggers were in your case, but change can be a good thing, even if it is a little unsettling at first.

Third, to the extent that you experience some anxiety as you make the transition to college, try to accept that. Don't have "anxiety about anxiety." Just accept that all this new stuff may make you a bit unsettled at first. Don't be too hard on yourself when that happens. If you tell yourself "this is just the anxiety that I expected to experience, as a result of the transition to a new environment," you may feel better. Don't let the anxiety spook you or depress you. Just accept it as something natural. Don't let it throw you off your game.

Fourth, if you have time before you go off to college, consider seeing a therapist to talk about your concerns about sleeping out, and how to make your adjustment to college as positive an experience as possible. Consider a type of therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT. It is short term and very practical and you may find that it helps you be best prepared, mentally, for the transition.

Fifth, do not feel alone in your concerns. I assure you there are many kids who go off to college with some anxiety. The only difference is you acknowledge it and some others may not. But they still have it. Fortunately, after an adjustment period, even those with anxiety tend to do well. If you feel like you need some counseling, there are usually counseling offices at the college that can help you with the adjustment period. So take advantage of that, if you need it. But you may not need it.

Don't dread college. It is a great time. It does come with some adjustments -- for everyone -- and maybe some added adjustments for someone with a history of anxiety -- but the pay off is really big and totally worthwhile.

People go into college with lots of different challenges -- whether it is anxiety, or learning issues, or financial issues, or social concerns, or family health issues, etc. Everyone has something they need to overcome. But college tends to be a very supportive environment, so most people succeed in overcoming whatever it is. You will too.


Edited to add: You also raised the question of where to go to college. There are a lot of considerations, including what you can afford, what college has the academic programs you are interested in, where you can get admitted, etc. But another consideration -- and probably an important one, in light of the concerns that you expressed -- is where you feel comfortable. That is a very personal thing, as different people feel comfortable in different environments. I would encourage you to visit the colleges you are interested in. Spend a full day (at least) at each place you are seriously interested in. Walk around. Meet students. If possible, arrange to stay over night with students in the dorms (many colleges can arrange this). Visit a class. Try to envision yourself there. Is it a place you would like to live, and feel comfortable in? Many prospective college students have reported that a place "just clicked with them" (or did not) when they visited.

[gadguy]

A few thoughts:

First, going off to college is a great opportunity and can be a lot of fun. Many of us say it was the best years of our lives. So -- while it is natural to be concerned about anxiety -- try to go into it with an upbeat and optimistic attitude. You will study interesting subjects, meet a diverse group of people, experience personal and intellectual growth, make life-long friends, get better at ultimate Frisbee (or whatever your passion is), develop an affinity for pizza and cheap beer, and prepare yourself for a career. It really is a great time...

Second, some people find that, while every new stage of life carries with it some stresses, going off to college can actually reduce your anxiety, over time, because you will be free of some of the triggers that contributed to your anxiety. I don't know what those triggers were in your case, but change can be a good thing, even if it is a little unsettling at first.

Third, to the extent that you experience some anxiety as you make the transition to college, try to accept that. Don't have "anxiety about anxiety." Just accept that all this new stuff may make you a bit unsettled at first. Don't be too hard on yourself when that happens. If you tell yourself "this is just the anxiety that I expected to experience, as a result of the transition to a new environment," you may feel better. Don't let the anxiety spook you or depress you. Just accept it as something natural. Don't let it throw you off your game.

Fourth, if you have time before you go off to college, consider seeing a therapist to talk about your concerns about sleeping out, and how to make your adjustment to college as positive an experience as possible. Consider a type of therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT. It is short term and very practical and you may find that it helps you be best prepared, mentally, for the transition.

Fifth, do not feel alone in your concerns. I assure you there are many kids who go off to college with some anxiety. The only difference is you acknowledge it and some others may not. But they still have it. Fortunately, after an adjustment period, even those with anxiety tend to do well. If you feel like you need some counseling, there are usually counseling offices at the college that can help you with the adjustment period. So take advantage of that, if you need it. But you may not need it.

Don't dread college. It is a great time. It does come with some adjustments -- for everyone -- and maybe some added adjustments for someone with a history of anxiety -- but the pay off is really big and totally worthwhile.

People go into college with lots of different challenges -- whether it is anxiety, or learning issues, or financial issues, or social concerns, or family health issues, etc. Everyone has something they need to overcome. But college tends to be a very supportive environment, so most people succeed in overcoming whatever it is. You will too.


Edited to add: You also raised the question of where to go to college. There are a lot of considerations, including what you can afford, what college has the academic programs you are interested in, where you can get admitted, etc. But another consideration -- and probably an important one, in light of the concerns that you expressed -- is where you feel comfortable. That is a very personal thing, as different people feel comfortable in different environments. I would encourage you to visit the colleges you are interested in. Spend a full day (at least) at each place you are seriously interested in. Walk around. Meet students. If possible, arrange to stay over night with students in the dorms (many colleges can arrange this). Visit a class. Try to envision yourself there. Is it a place you would like to live, and feel comfortable in? Many prospective college students have reported that a place "just clicked with them" (or did not) when they visited.

As someone who went what you are going through visit the colleges and find what is comfortable to you. I picked a small college in a rural setting, no stress from large city and I also made sure the housing meant my needs, our on campus housing were apartments....everyone had their own room, this helped a lot when you just needed some time to yourself to destress. You can do it!

[Ardin]

Hi there!
I also suffer from panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder and I'm currently going into my fourth year of university. I have some tips that might help you. On the topic of choosing a college, I would suggest choosing one that is in a familiar city or town, possibly near your support system (like family). This will make the transition a lot more difficult. If you want to go somewhere far away, I would suggest visiting there a few times and become familiar with the campus and surrounding area. Don't be afraid about choosing the right program or school. The majority of people switch programs during their studies and transfers are always possible.
Most colleges will have counselling staff on campus so I suggest you go and introduce yourself and get to know how the services work and who to talk to. Also, do not be afraid of your professors! You can let them know in person or over email about your situation and they will be understanding if you have to miss a few classes or leave in the middle of class due to anxiety. A lot of schools will also have workshops on essay writing, stress management, and exam preparation, so make full use of those! You also mentioned you're nervous about sleeping out. I had that problem too! I would recommend seeing a therapist if possible. What my therapist got me to do was take small steps towards the goal. First, I would sleep out of my room, in the living room. Next, I slept over at a relative's house a few blocks away. Then, I slept at a relative's house who lived about an hour away. After taking all of those baby steps, I was able to finally able to sleep over at a friend's house! I won't lie, it was difficult, but you have to push yourself.
I know it seems scary, but there was one point in my life where I thought I wouldn't be able to graduate elementary school because of my anxiety problems, let alone go to college. I know you can do it!

[PanicCured]

I have struggled with panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder for many many years. Currently I am a senior in high school and I feel that I've made a lot of strides with my anxiety. For example, during my freshman-junior year I would have weeks where I couldn't go to school for the fear of not being able to leave made me think I would have a panic attack. I am writing because I am currently trying to decide where to go to college. This is filling me with dread because one thing I am anxious about is sleeping over at friends houses or going to camps etc, and that is essentially what college is. Let me know if you have any tips or ideas because I dont want my anxiety to hold me back in college but right now I feel like my anxiety will be too difficult for me to deal with once Im there and I will drop out.

Are you planning on going to a great college or mediocre one? This will make the difference if you should focus more on getting laid and upside down keg stands or actually studying. What is your actual plan? The thought of sleeping in a dorm surrounded by hot college girls would definitely ease my anxiety.

What is your 6 year plan?

[PanicCured]

I would suggest choosing one that is in a familiar city or town, possibly near your support system (like family). This will make the transition a lot more difficult.

I'd like to point out that this mentality is the opposite of conducive to healing anxiety. This is altering your life to fit your anxiety, which is the opposite of what helps one overcome anxiety. Anxiety is overcome by pushing forward and getting past the ideas of safe person and safe place. This strategy you are suggesting is enabling the anxiety which is what keeps people stuck. People should try and pretend their lives are as normal as possible, and not allow anxiety to dictate it.