Insecurity, anxiety over makeup

[evebean21]

Hello,
I'm new here, I only posted once before when I was having panic attacks every day because of thoughts about my boyfriend.
I'm a sixteen year old girl with anxiety, but not constant. Since my boyfriend and I broke up I have been questioning whether I even have it or not except with certain things.
Today I'm writing this post because of how insecure I get when it comes to putting on makeup. Please don't make fun of me for this!
I am scared of looking different with it on, or liking myself more with it on, and I feel a lot of pressure to wear it, but then again I also feel a lot of pressure to not wear it. I wear mascara at most with blush and foundation, but lately I've been going even more minimal with matte natural eye shadows, blush, bb cream. And even with that, I get insecure thinking I look ugly when I take it off, though I don't have pimples or anything.
Please take this seriously, I get anxiety every morning when I get up for school because of this!
Is there any way I can overcome this fear so I can just chill out in the morning? Is that even a lot of makeup or am o crazy? (I would have posted a before and after but I don't want to seem like I'm trying to get compliments)
Thank you, whoever reads this and tries to help!
-eve

[jessed03]

Hey Eve,

You may have some unhealthy beliefs about yourself that have caused this anxiety to come about. Away from make-up, do you have any self-esteem issues? Do you have any social anxiety?

Anxiety can attach itself to anything, so don't worry about not being taken seriously. It's as real to you as it is to anyone. Heck, even if you were worried about green aliens kidnapping you and stealing your brain, it would be as real and as uncomfortable as someone with a heart condition worrying about their heart!

[Kuma]

So long as it is OK with your parents and does not violate any rules your school may have, you should wear whatever make up makes you happy.

There are a lot of pressures in high school -- to conform to certain norms, to look a certain way, to be part of a certain crowd, etc. That can make teenage years stressful. But a part of the maturing process is to learn to do what YOU think is right and what makes YOU happy (so long as it does not hurt anyone else).

High school is also a time to experiment, in a lot of ways (only legal ones, though!). I mean, how you like to dress and what type of people you like to be friends with, and what your values are, and just generally who you want to be. And even what sort of makeup, if any, you want to wear. So there is nothing wrong with not being sure about that. Maybe sometimes you would prefer to not wear any make up. Then other times, you like to wear some make up. And over time, your tastes in make up -- just like your taste in other things -- may change. All of that is PERFECTLY normal, and a part of the transition from kid to adult.

So if you want to wear some make up, then go for it. And if another day you don't, then that's cool too.

Just be true to yourself, and do whatever makes you feel good.

[Kuma]

...........

[gypsylee]

Hello,
I'm new here, I only posted once before when I was having panic attacks every day because of thoughts about my boyfriend.
I'm a sixteen year old girl with anxiety, but not constant. Since my boyfriend and I broke up I have been questioning whether I even have it or not except with certain things.
Today I'm writing this post because of how insecure I get when it comes to putting on makeup. Please don't make fun of me for this!
I am scared of looking different with it on, or liking myself more with it on, and I feel a lot of pressure to wear it, but then again I also feel a lot of pressure to not wear it. I wear mascara at most with blush and foundation, but lately I've been going even more minimal with matte natural eye shadows, blush, bb cream. And even with that, I get insecure thinking I look ugly when I take it off, though I don't have pimples or anything.
Please take this seriously, I get anxiety every morning when I get up for school because of this!
Is there any way I can overcome this fear so I can just chill out in the morning? Is that even a lot of makeup or am o crazy? (I would have posted a before and after but I don't want to seem like I'm trying to get compliments)
Thank you, whoever reads this and tries to help!
-eve

Well I don't envy you being 16.. There's even more pressure on girls to look a certain way now than in my day (I'm 41). Also we didn't wear any make-up to school and it was an all-girls school, so we didn't have to worry much.

It doesn't sound like you wear much make-up compared to some girls. I don't really know though because I'm old ;)

[jessed03]

It doesn't sound like you wear much make-up compared to some girls. I don't really know though because I'm old ;)

If 41's old, someone's gonna have to break the news to Madonna.

[evebean21]

Hey Eve,

You may have some unhealthy beliefs about yourself that have caused this anxiety to come about. Away from make-up, do you have any self-esteem issues? Do you have any social anxiety?

Anxiety can attach itself to anything, so don't worry about not being taken seriously. It's as real to you as it is to anyone. Heck, even if you were worried about green aliens kidnapping you and stealing your brain, it would be as real and as uncomfortable as someone with a heart condition worrying about their heart!

Yes, I do have insecurities from my boyfriend breaking up with me for having anxiety/depression and not doing certain things with him, so I feel like I'm not good enough no matter how I try to work on my confidence. Though I know that I am good enough, so I try to shake off those feelings because it just isn't worth hurting over anymore. I think the fear mainly comes from trying to be the "perfect image" of a female because I wasn't good enough for my ex no matter what I did, so I'm hard on myself trying to be the perfect image of a woman, which is obviously not going to help me to love myself more.

[gypsylee]

Yes, I do have insecurities from my boyfriend breaking up with me for having anxiety/depression and not doing certain things with him, so I feel like I'm not good enough no matter how I try to work on my confidence. Though I know that I am good enough, so I try to shake off those feelings because it just isn't worth hurting over anymore. I think the fear mainly comes from trying to be the "perfect image" of a female because I wasn't good enough for my ex no matter what I did, so I'm hard on myself trying to be the perfect image of a woman, which is obviously not going to help me to love myself more.

The thing is, the "perfect image" of a female doesn't actually exist in reality. Just look at how even supermodels are airbrushed and photoshopped.. What hope do the rest of us have?! I've spent so long trying to be perfect and it's just futile. Not only that, it's damaged my health in various ways. I still struggle with it a lot and waste far too much time and energy worrying about how I look. I don't really know what the answer is because it's so deeply ingrained that looks = worth, and when you have low self-confidence you learn that the easiest way to feel more confident is to look good. It's definitely not the best way though. Everyone's looks fade eventually and who wants to spend their whole life obsessing over their appearance? I know a lot of women do but I don't want to be one of them.

[evebean21]

The thing is, the "perfect image" of a female doesn't actually exist in reality. Just look at how even supermodels are airbrushed and photoshopped.. What hope do the rest of us have?! I've spent so long trying to be perfect and it's just futile. Not only that, it's damaged my health in various ways. I still struggle with it a lot and waste far too much time and energy worrying about how I look. I don't really know what the answer is because it's so deeply ingrained that looks = worth, and when you have low self-confidence you learn that the easiest way to feel more confident is to look good. It's definitely not the best way though. Everyone's looks fade eventually and who wants to spend their whole life obsessing over their appearance? I know a lot of women do but I don't want to be one of them.
That is so true, thank you so much for taking time to help me!

[gypsylee]

You're welcome. I hate how much pressure there is on women to look a certain way (which doesn't even exist).