Emmi Kuehn
04-11-2015, 04:51 PM
I'm a student and I have the feeling I will never be the pilot of my life plane.
Although I'm often happy I always feel like something is missing.
My field of study is since 4 years biochemistry and it was mainly chosen by my parents.
After my first year I didnt pass a test, so I had to take a leap of honor.
I urged my parents to start something new but was told that this would be too late.
Since then I hugely struggled and never was able to attain really good grades.
So I always felt stupid and lost, especially in lab courses and accused myself of not being able to appreciate my priveleged situation that I am in in comparison to other girls in low developed countries that have to work in a textile industry in Bangladesh or are married at an age of 12 years. I struggle with procrastination and i have the feeling i havent won much knowledge in my life.
My social life has suffered too. So I have really close friends I love, but have difficulties engaging in a talk with strangers. I never really get in the flow of talking or start a serious discussion because I dont seem to grip the gist of the matter, know amusing anecdotes or even just know what i really want. it seems to me that the years are passing past me while I neglect great opportunities like getting to know my interesting family members better or other persons.
So I'm not this respected intelligent woman I long to be.
To improve my situation i play superbetter and engage in the press team of a local club and love to go swimming or do fitness, but im still not really optimistic about my future.
I hope i didnt write too much or too many details in my first post.
Bye
Although I'm often happy I always feel like something is missing.
My field of study is since 4 years biochemistry and it was mainly chosen by my parents.
After my first year I didnt pass a test, so I had to take a leap of honor.
I urged my parents to start something new but was told that this would be too late.
Since then I hugely struggled and never was able to attain really good grades.
So I always felt stupid and lost, especially in lab courses and accused myself of not being able to appreciate my priveleged situation that I am in in comparison to other girls in low developed countries that have to work in a textile industry in Bangladesh or are married at an age of 12 years. I struggle with procrastination and i have the feeling i havent won much knowledge in my life.
My social life has suffered too. So I have really close friends I love, but have difficulties engaging in a talk with strangers. I never really get in the flow of talking or start a serious discussion because I dont seem to grip the gist of the matter, know amusing anecdotes or even just know what i really want. it seems to me that the years are passing past me while I neglect great opportunities like getting to know my interesting family members better or other persons.
So I'm not this respected intelligent woman I long to be.
To improve my situation i play superbetter and engage in the press team of a local club and love to go swimming or do fitness, but im still not really optimistic about my future.
I hope i didnt write too much or too many details in my first post.
Bye