beyondinfinity
04-11-2015, 08:38 AM
I've been having issues over the past several years concentrating at work. I work in front of a computer and I feel like I needed to jump out of my seat and stop looking at the screen. I also had feeling like when you realize you are about to fall orare in an open space - like a fear or like you are falling (but not actually dizzy or falling) Anyway fast forward to a month ago and then everything changed for the worse.
I've been using topical Retin-A micro gel for quite some months prior to all this, and then switched recently to Adapalene + Benzoyl Peroxide (TacTuo) - I only mention these because I wonder do these compounds go into the bloodstream and contribute to my current state? I've also been under extreme stress working all day, then coming home and working more at night (so all day in front of a computer). No social relief or fun. I was also recently eating dark chocolate every night, a small piece for about a few weeks. It was of high quality from chocolatier not available from regular supermarket. I don't remember if I had stopped eating it abruptly or not but I did decrease my intake One day at work about a month ago I was super concentrating on a problem on the computer and I had involuntary muscle spasm in my jaw and leg. I freaked me out so much I thought I was going to have a seizure or something. I got really nervous and scared and later I experienced nausea at work and agitation. I left immediately and when I got home I totally lost it. I couldn't keep my arms and legs still I felt uncomfortable in my own body, I was having chills and shaking, and muscle twitching. I couldn't control it. It felt almost like a withdrawal symptom. I only compare it to withdrawal because I had a withdrawal to some herbs a naturopath gave me a long time ago and I experienced similar symptoms after stopping them abruptly. Finally I relaxed slowly but I was still very agitated for some days. Then I experienced it again. Same chills and shaking, agitation etc. Basically like a panic attack, tight breathing feeling like passing out, irregular heartbeats. Once I took Lorazepam to calm myself because I did not know what to do and was panicking. This continued a few times until this week but it gradually changed. I stopped having the chills and shaking symptoms although I continue to have the muscle twitching on and off. It was hard for me to concentrate on work. One day I felt really a weird worry and intense sick disturbed feeling like when you find out something terrible has happened. I could almost feel in the back of my skull some physical sensation I rushed to the doctor immediately because I was so scared and worried I was losing my mind or going crazy. The doctor saw right away I was agitated. I also had been to another doctor the weeks before and had full blood workup done that ruled out any imbalances like thyroid issues and such. I was given some supplements (5HTP, GABA, Theanine, B12, and some other stuff that has magnesium and taurine) When I got home I almost collapsed at the door my heart was beating so irregularly. Then I took the B12 and this calming supplement immediately and felt better.
Since then I have continued my supplements it's been about 4 days. But I continue to have weird feelings, but no severe panic attacks like the withdrawla type symptoms I had before. I just get really nervous and my haeart rate increases, and I start worrying. I keep worrying there is something wrong with my body physically or some chemical imbalance in my brain, or something in my body secreting some hormone that is causing me to feel this way. I struggle to control it. It eventually subsides, but it takes a while. Also it doesn't match with the regular triggers like being outside or giving a presentation because I am at home or maybe lying in bed when it happens. It could be just a thought pattern that triggers the feelings and then cascades into panic and intense worry.
I have appointment to see psychiatrist in a week and a half. And follow ups with the doctor that have the supplements the same week. I am really trying everything I can (except taking pharmaceuticals) I even tried yoga , started meditating, and tried slowing my breathing to increase CO2 (after reading someone here mention Buteyko) and taking time off work.
I'm actually scared, I never felt this way in my whole life. I'm putting all my effort into getting better but I'm worried I wont recover. Is it all in my head. It is so unbelievable to me at this point. I'm 35 and worry about mental illness developing sometimes as well.
I've been using topical Retin-A micro gel for quite some months prior to all this, and then switched recently to Adapalene + Benzoyl Peroxide (TacTuo) - I only mention these because I wonder do these compounds go into the bloodstream and contribute to my current state? I've also been under extreme stress working all day, then coming home and working more at night (so all day in front of a computer). No social relief or fun. I was also recently eating dark chocolate every night, a small piece for about a few weeks. It was of high quality from chocolatier not available from regular supermarket. I don't remember if I had stopped eating it abruptly or not but I did decrease my intake One day at work about a month ago I was super concentrating on a problem on the computer and I had involuntary muscle spasm in my jaw and leg. I freaked me out so much I thought I was going to have a seizure or something. I got really nervous and scared and later I experienced nausea at work and agitation. I left immediately and when I got home I totally lost it. I couldn't keep my arms and legs still I felt uncomfortable in my own body, I was having chills and shaking, and muscle twitching. I couldn't control it. It felt almost like a withdrawal symptom. I only compare it to withdrawal because I had a withdrawal to some herbs a naturopath gave me a long time ago and I experienced similar symptoms after stopping them abruptly. Finally I relaxed slowly but I was still very agitated for some days. Then I experienced it again. Same chills and shaking, agitation etc. Basically like a panic attack, tight breathing feeling like passing out, irregular heartbeats. Once I took Lorazepam to calm myself because I did not know what to do and was panicking. This continued a few times until this week but it gradually changed. I stopped having the chills and shaking symptoms although I continue to have the muscle twitching on and off. It was hard for me to concentrate on work. One day I felt really a weird worry and intense sick disturbed feeling like when you find out something terrible has happened. I could almost feel in the back of my skull some physical sensation I rushed to the doctor immediately because I was so scared and worried I was losing my mind or going crazy. The doctor saw right away I was agitated. I also had been to another doctor the weeks before and had full blood workup done that ruled out any imbalances like thyroid issues and such. I was given some supplements (5HTP, GABA, Theanine, B12, and some other stuff that has magnesium and taurine) When I got home I almost collapsed at the door my heart was beating so irregularly. Then I took the B12 and this calming supplement immediately and felt better.
Since then I have continued my supplements it's been about 4 days. But I continue to have weird feelings, but no severe panic attacks like the withdrawla type symptoms I had before. I just get really nervous and my haeart rate increases, and I start worrying. I keep worrying there is something wrong with my body physically or some chemical imbalance in my brain, or something in my body secreting some hormone that is causing me to feel this way. I struggle to control it. It eventually subsides, but it takes a while. Also it doesn't match with the regular triggers like being outside or giving a presentation because I am at home or maybe lying in bed when it happens. It could be just a thought pattern that triggers the feelings and then cascades into panic and intense worry.
I have appointment to see psychiatrist in a week and a half. And follow ups with the doctor that have the supplements the same week. I am really trying everything I can (except taking pharmaceuticals) I even tried yoga , started meditating, and tried slowing my breathing to increase CO2 (after reading someone here mention Buteyko) and taking time off work.
I'm actually scared, I never felt this way in my whole life. I'm putting all my effort into getting better but I'm worried I wont recover. Is it all in my head. It is so unbelievable to me at this point. I'm 35 and worry about mental illness developing sometimes as well.