recent setback

[Spiggot70]

Hey all,

Have been feeling pretty good lately, but about two weeks ago, started to have nausea, loss of appetite, and tight back, neck and shoulder muscles. Enough to feel like it was going to shoot my head off my shoulders. I have been doing regular stuff, trying to keep busy (or at least my mind busy), taking herbal supplements (passion flower, GABA), and it seemed to be keeping things in check. I would go for walks and feel good. I would read to keep my mind occupied. Any time I would realize that the symptoms were there, I'd feel worse and get more anxious and symptoms would intensify.
Then on this past Sunday, I deliberated, after years of saying I wouldn't, but I had the prescription filled I was given by a doctor for Zoloft; I had this prescription for MONTHS. So I took them with me to my next appointment with the doctor and questioned him that this was the right (or at least suitable) way to go. I just came to the realization that maybe I should try something that's intended for helping, being that I was always under the belief that prescriptions are written to people too quickly. And I had some bad experiences the first time I took an anti-depressant. I also called for some therapy appointments. I've been to numerous chiropractor appointments, thinking maybe something is just pinching a nerve. Yesterday, I also had a massage, and it seemed to help and then the tight neck started about an hour after.
I fell asleep and woke up a few hours later with again, the nausea. I panicked, and gave myself a panic attack. I was bombarded by all sorts of heath issues. I actually almost convinced myself that I was having a heart attack. Mainly, because I've heard people think it was just indigestion for days, and then angina, or heart attack. And my left arm felt weird. So I took a half Ativan. I felt better. I KNEW at the time it was a panic attack, but had no idea how to control it. Then when I woke for work, the nausea was there again. Has been all morning so far. Nausea comes, I don't want to eat, and it continues the cycle.

I don't know. I'm struggling with the fight against this. It seems to come grab me and won't let go.
I thought I was doing better, I even had 2 days this week before yesterday that were so much better.

Just thought I'd share.

[tryingto]

I've been dealing with the nausea thing for the past few days, but for quite some time now I haven't been eating. Nothing looks appetizing, and everything makes me feel ill afterwards. I can barely even drink water anymore. My body is aching too. I have so many health issues going on right now it's utterly ridiculous.

I'm sorry if I'm just talking about myself, but I can understand what you're going through, and I'm sure plenty others here can too. I really hope you get better, you seem like a wonderful person. Best of luck :)

[Im-Suffering]

Lets talk.

The message in this post is for everyone. Not just the OP.




I have been doing regular stuff, trying to keep busy - Avoidance.

So I took a half Ativan. I felt better. - Don't hesitate to take as necessary.

I KNEW at the time it was a panic attack - It doesn't matter what you 'think' you 'consciously' know. That's not where the 'roots' are.

It seems to come grab me and won't let go. - No, it hasn't caught you yet - you are running from it, with all your might.




You have seen enough of my posts here to know the issues are not physical. There are clear unresolved mental problems in your life that you have not addressed. Simply because either so much intense focus is on the physical, or you just never 'thought' to look inside for answers. YOU MUST - if progress is to be made.

Firstly, - stop running. I will use money as an example here. The man who 'wants' money chases after it, always wanting but never receiving, he cannot seem to 'grab' a hold of it. That man has to stop in his tracks, and demand (through a firm unwavering decision) that money come to him, in such large quantities and so swiftly, that he would be surprised where it has been his whole life. If the man continues the fun of the chase, or perhaps feels despondent often and lets money chase him, then he will brood and fall into an anxious victim state, and he shall never have it. Money will seem just beyond his reach. This man must stop and confront himself, find the conflicts in his own mind, and heal any mental obstacles that stand between him and his desire.

Now, try this mental exercise - There is nothing to lose, do it for 30 days.

Before bed, in a quiet state with no interruptions - right before you drift to sleep.. Visualize you are 100 feet from a mountain cliff, the drop is quite steep, no one could ever survive this fall, you say to yourself. But you are being chased by the beast of anxiety (the personification of every fear and false belief you have ever had), this fearless mighty terrifying foe is relentless, and IT has you cornered near this cliff - IT has never given up the chase, and it never will (you remember somehow that even as a small child - you could feel ITS presence), and in that moment, you decide - "I've had enough !"

And so you make a decision, your going to jump.

You plant your feet firmly in the cement of courage, run up to the edge of the cliff, and ... leap. You begin at once to recapitulate your life, you see all of your problems, past traumas, false beliefs, errant ideas of who you are, racing past your body as you continue this death defying dive that you surely will never make it out alive of - Briefly you notice the beast has jumped too ! You think to yourself, this thing is crazy ! It is willing to die too?

On and on you fall, and on and on the memories come rushing by of childhood, criticisms, shame, guilt, loneliness, abandonment, illnesses, death of loved ones, grief, allow every thought to enter that comes - fall for 15 minutes - don't drift to sleep just yet ! Now look down you see the bottom, this is certain death ! Say your goodbye's to family, friends, say goodbye to anxiety, problems, all of the memories and negative experiences, say goodbye to that monster still chasing you (it jumped in after you) - that monster of darkness, fears, illusions of false beliefs that engulfs your light and prevents edification by instilling false ideas about who you are - but you had better make your peace, because this is it ! The end of your life !

And just as you are several feet from the ground .........................

All of a sudden the rush of air that was so violent against your skin, stops ! And your body turns right side up, and you start to drift, to float, and to finally land. On your two feet !

SAFE

SECURE

COMFORTED

PEACEFUL

LOVING

WORTHY

VALUABLE

Suddenly you have the thought "what if they were all wrong?", "What if I was all wrong all along?", "What if I was always safe, and all of this physical stuff, fears, problems, where just a game, a challenge, what if I was afraid of....nothing?"

And as you land you remember being chased off the cliff by the 'beast', you remember the courage you had to leap, A LEAP OF FAITH, since you would surely die one way or the other. You thought "either the beast will get me or we shall both perish, but I will not run my whole life from it !"

You remember all of the memories, life issues, relationship or social inadequacies, physical problems, fears, that went past your consciousness and you let them go. Because you can see that you they are just illusions, that have no grip on you, other than the grip you allowed them to have. They are fake, the beast has no footing on his own, he is lying dead next to you ! You realize you are bigger than the sum of all of these trivial issues that you have brooded over for years, and so you say "I am free !"

Allow yourself to drift off to sleep, in a nest of comfort, love, security, peace, and fulfillment. Tomorrow you will wake a valiant hero, you see. There will be a great celebration for the one who has slain the evil, vile, lurking beast.

End this by picturing self content, happy, anxiety free, walking off into your dream life to celebration and fanfare, your new home, money, health, new relationships and opportunities, whatever you desire - all of the problems solved, feel it, really feel that you are the hero, the winner of your own life.

___

It is up to each one of you to do your own work.

End of post.