Voicing and (hopefully) conquering my negative thoughts

[Vanessa45631]

Today, I feel like I'm not good enough. I feel thoroughly inadequate for everything in my life. Why would anyone think I'm a good enough co-worker when I have a problem with recurring anxiety? Normal people don't struggle like this. What happens when my boss finally realizes I not worth it?
What about my boyfriend? Aren't I just wasting his time? Who wants a girlfriend who utterly falls apart sometimes?

The truth is that none of us can live up to impossible standards. If my standards are that I can't ever mess up, of course I'll come up short. It's ok to fall apart, remembering that sometime very soon, I will feel whole again. Most people out there probably struggle with feeling inadequate. The thing is we don't always tell each other when or how often we feel this way.

As far as my boyfriend, he knows about my anxiety and is still with me. It's his choice to be with me just as its my choice to be with him. All I can be is honest, understanding that others are often far more accepting of my "failures" than I am.

Vanessa, it's ok to fail. It's ok to fall apart and drop the ball. I love you.

[Im-Suffering]

Today, I feel like I'm not good enough. I feel thoroughly inadequate for everything in my life. Why would anyone think I'm a good enough co-worker when I have a problem with recurring anxiety? Normal people don't struggle like this. What happens when my boss finally realizes I not worth it?
What about my boyfriend? Aren't I just wasting his time? Who wants a girlfriend who utterly falls apart sometimes?

The truth is that none of us can live up to impossible standards. If my standards are that I can't ever mess up, of course I'll come up short. It's ok to fall apart, remembering that sometime very soon, I will feel whole again. Most people out there probably struggle with feeling inadequate. The thing is we don't always tell each other when or how often we feel this way.

As far as my boyfriend, he knows about my anxiety and is still with me. It's his choice to be with me just as its my choice to be with him. All I can be is honest, understanding that others are often far more accepting of my "failures" than I am.

Vanessa, it's ok to fail. It's ok to fall apart and drop the ball. I love you.

That is beautiful.

But where are these thoughts coming from? If you want to stop the thought/feeling, you will need to find the 'root' (belief). When you garden, you don't take off the leaf of a weed and say "there I have gotten it, it wont grow back !"

Now the thoughts individually, 'my coworkers will find out I am not good enough', 'my boyfriend will leave me', and so forth are just the 'leaves' you see? The core beliefs are under the garden bed and connected with each other. The roots are strong. And so just saying "I am well !" is the uppermost portion of self playing with ideas. If you want the root, you've got to go in swinging (with your garden sheers) and find those beliefs that frame the garden.

"I am not worthy" followed deeper, reveals "I am not worthy of... " which can lead you back to the REAL experience where you decided you were not worthy as a core belief about self. The imagination will take you there, no matter the time period. So if you follow the current thought - it will lead you through a string of beliefs to the core or root to which you can then pluck out and replace with a flower seedling, you see? Taking out the root takes out all similar roots across the board, and so one strong belief may feed half the root system in the garden. You wont have to do them one by one, and there wont be too many of them. In that regard, this work is not daunting.

That is my message, I hope you understand.

If you do not take out the 'roots' than tomorrow you will face the same problems. And you do not want to say in your forever string of tomorrows -

'Today, yet again I feel I am not good enough' which is the main cause of despondency, and ultimately depression - the result of brooding over a mental state for a given length of time with no resolution.

[Vanessa45631]

That is beautiful.

But where are these thoughts coming from? If you want to stop the thought/feeling, you will need to find the 'root' (belief). When you garden, you don't take off the leaf of a weed and say "there I have gotten it, it wont grow back !"

Now the thoughts individually, 'my coworkers will find out I am not good enough', 'my boyfriend will leave me', and so forth are just the 'leaves' you see? The core beliefs are under the garden bed and connected with each other. The roots are strong. And so just saying "I am well !" is the uppermost portion of self playing with ideas. If you want the root, you've got to go in swinging (with your garden sheers) and find those beliefs that frame the garden.



This is something that my counselor and I have talked about. The idea of false beliefs: things that my heart believes despite my head knowing the truth.

I think that one of my false beliefs is that I have to work or achieve to be worthy. This isn't true: I am worthy of love simply because of who I am. I choose to surround myself with people who see and value my worth.
Another false belief is that having anxiety makes me unworthy or unacceptable. This is also not true: anxiety isn't wrong nor does it somehow Undo good things that I've done. Since I am worthy of love just by being me, I am not made unworthy by anxiety.

[Im-Suffering]

This is something that my counselor and I have talked about. The idea of false beliefs: things that my heart believes despite my head knowing the truth.

I think that one of my false beliefs is that I have to work or achieve to be worthy. This isn't true: I am worthy of love simply because of who I am. I choose to surround myself with people who see and value my worth.
Another false belief is that having anxiety makes me unworthy or unacceptable. This is also not true: anxiety isn't wrong nor does it somehow Undo good things that I've done. Since I am worthy of love just by being me, I am not made unworthy by anxiety.

Excellent Vanessa

[Vanessa45631]

Thank you! Thank you for reading my post and encouraging me to dig deeper.

Much appreciated!