Health problems, I need help.

[kalikid93]

Hey guys, I'm 21 years old going on 22 in 4 days. I've been feeling weird since 2012, and my health has been giving me so much anxiety. My vision is going bad, I see floaters, I feel tired (sometimes) difficulty walking, everytime I walk I feel weird, it's hard to explain. Kind of unbalanced and I have to touch my neck or something so I won't feel weird. I hate long drives, when I drive I have to have my right arm on the steering wheel, & my left on my cheek. I feel weird when I look up, or when I think of heights. My head/neck cracks and I can hear it in my ears. Also my lower right back feels kinda weird when I touch it. I'm hungry all the time, & when I think too much of my health I get worried/feel weird and I start to cry. Sometimes I can't even get mad, just sad and I start to cry. I'm putting this here because it's giving me so much anxiety and I always Google my symptoms and I diagnose myself with the worst. I'm scared and afraid to go to the doctor because I feel like I'm gonna pass out when I'm there, plus I have a hard time looking at people in the face or eyes. I used to be so healthy when I was in high school. I played soccer with my friends and I used to life a lot of weights. Now I lost most of the muscle in my body. I never go out due to the way I feel every damn day, (sorry for cussing, it's just that I'm so fed up.) & I'm scared the doctor is gonna tell me the worst. & everytime I Google my symptoms, I start to think that I'm gonna die and I don't wanna die yet because I have so many things I wanna do, like have my first girlfriend, have a family and live until I'm old. Yes, you read that right, I've never had a girlfriend because I'm ugly. But that's off topic, I'm really concerned about my health and if any of you guys have an idea of what it could be, please share your opinions with me. Thank you for your time, and if you're going through some health troubles, I hope God heals you and everything goes in your favor.

[gypsylee]

Hi there and welcome :)

Well what strikes me here is you rely on Dr Google rather than an actual doctor. Don't do that! So much health anxiety is caused by this and I see it on the forum all the time. You need to ban yourself from Googling symptoms and go talk to a real life doctor. Do you have one that you can talk to? If not, look for one.

I hope you find some support here. All the best,
Gypsy x

[Im-Suffering]

Whatever you think is off topic, is on topic. Whatever you think is on topic, is way off.

Lets break down the ONLY important sentence in your post, relevant to why you feel as you do :




"I've never had a girlfriend" - (because of self-beliefs, doubts, fears and who and what you think you are. These self created facts touch every area of your life, and feel badly)

"because I'm ugly". (power statement about self. FACT. unchangeable, PROBLEM, unresolvable. "this is who I am" "i blame this"}

"But that's off topic". (No ! ON TOPIC, and the surface awareness that hides the rest of your beliefs under it like a blanket)



Then you go on to say "but im (I AM) really concerned about my health !" Which immediately dismisses the I AM ugly, and have never had a girlfriend, and focus's on the RESULT (fearful health anxiety) rather than the CAUSE (I AM this and that).

By saying 'its off topic' the true feelings that if explored would lead to healing are dismissed and denied, they are just too painful to face.

I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM
I AM

"I AM ugly" is a power statement of personal fact (or any I AM statements even in 'general' or 'playful' talk). You cannot feel good with such a muddy conflicted self judgment. And that is just the tip of the iceberg that pokes through the psyche and slips out in conversation as it did in your post, then quickly dismissed as inconsequential to your being, and because you dismiss your REAL feelings about who you are, and the ways in which you are treated by family/friends, you MUST hold your cheek, wobble around, feel unsteady, and dizzy, unbalanced, touch your neck, and have intermittent bouts of emotional explosions/crying.

There is a psychological problem, period. Using very strong terms, you hate yourself, and your life. And those false assumptions came from somewhere, someone outside the self, that caused the self to reflect badly upon itself.

"I AM ugly" is also a metaphor, like a dream symbol, for your psychological state. You feel ugly INSIDE. And that is expressed in the appearance, both in confidence, posture, and reflected in hygiene causing an inflated (distorted) social awareness of the perceived deficits in the self which are then mirrored back by your peers. You cannot work with what you have if you are blind to the truth. Which is not that your 'gonna die' but when you look in the mirror you 'wanna die'. Innately, and inherently, ALL creatures are beautiful. This, is the lesson, not only for you, but for your parents, friends, teachers, and peers.

What are you ? Besides ugly. Who are you? (rhetorical)

Every single solitary thing you say and think that is off topic, is on topic. No exceptions. Its only off topic so you can disregard it and continue to feel badly about yourself. These off topic emotions (the I AM statements about who you are) are so powerful, they psychologically construct all of your physical symptoms, and manufacture the paranoia (delusions) needed to google them.

Start to look at yourself, and your parents (family or friends, caregivers. teachers, influential acquaintances, bullies - they can be seen as positive or negative) for clues as to the emotional state you are in.

You are only 22. Will you even understand any of this? Probably not, what has been given is highly advanced information to process. In any case, someone, somewhere will benefit. (you know who you are).

Happy trails !