This one put me over the edge..I need your thoughts!

[hockey7]

I have been hesitant to see a doctor because I don't want a medical record for my career path.

Last night I had a date with a great girl and I get to the retauraunt...I see alot of people eating outside and all of a sudden I start to forsee people looking a me, sitting face to face with this girl and being nervous and saying something stupid, the thought of being trapped at a table and having to eat in front of someone with no escape. So I leave my date there no call, no show and walk back to my house. I am so mad because this time I really wanted to meet this one on our first date.

Now day to day....... I sweat time to time, always think there might be something on my face or my shirt is wrinkled, I feel like I might be lightheaded and its the beginning of a heart attack, I see an attractive girl walk by with her boyfriend and I feel like I have been wasting my life because I havent had a pretty girlfriend in years, then I start to feel like I have wasted years and I am going to be old soon and my life was wasted (I'm 27) Now I know this is not the case but i truly think it! I get fears that I am going to be 30 soon and I have wasted my 20's by being shy and numbing my fears with booze. Sitting through a meeting is torture I cant put my hands in the right place I, I think people are looking @ me.

I don't ever go to family event and never go out to eat or on dates unless its @ a bar and I am already 5 deep...I can't stand the thought of going to the grocery store or shopping in public places. I constantly think I have lost my mind and have gone psycho, or I have some crazy disease and I am going to die.

THIS MAY BE A NO BRAINER, BUT WHAT DO I HAVE ANXIETY, PARANOIA, OR AM I JUST NUTS! THANKS FOR THE HELP!

[joey9]

I'm no therapist but it sounds pretty much like social phobia to me, a common expression of anxiety. You are so worried about doing something that you perceive to be 'wrong' and making a fool of yourself in front of others that this has turned to a classic fear cycle - you're afraid that you will do something wrong, this causes fear, which causes physical symptoms, in your case sweating etc. which makes the fear worse because now of course you are afraid that someone will notice your sweating/blushing etc. and will think that you're a complete idiot for having such a reaction. Gradually you have become sensitive to a whole range of triggers, that will set off your fear even though actually by now you are more afriad of the fear response than you are the situation...etc. Eating in front of people, speaking up in meetings (what if you get a trembling voice - then everyone will know you are afraid...) etc. etc. then of course you have the frustration of knowing that you did actually have something useful to say in the meeting if only you wouldn't have blushed when you said it, and how far you would have got in your career if only you had more confidence and what a great girlfriend you would have if only you weren't so worried about messing up...

The good news is that you are only 27 so you have plenty of time to nip this in the bud. Don't let anxiety get the better of you for the rest of your life. Be proactive - get some CBT, read self-help books. There are plenty of ways to get over social phobia, starting with giving yourself a break with regards to standards. I used to have really bad social phobia, which was so frustrating as I spent my years at university hiding at the back of seminars or skipping them altogether in case I had to speak and I blushed. It was impossible to enjoy life because my fear of - for me it was blushing - totally dominated every social interaction I had. I used to think that if anything I said wasn't hilariously witty or devastatingly clever then it wasn't worth saying, in fact it made me look like a complete failure, and that would make me blush beacuse I would feel stupid. Mine went away with time and experience more than anything else but I wish I'd done something years ago when it was at its worst as I really feel like I wasted a lot of my life at a time when I should have had the world at my feet. Social phobia is pretty common and you really can get over it and there are plenty of resources out there to help.