sae
03-26-2015, 11:48 PM
So this day has been strangely difficult. I had two stupid appointments. Okay, maybe not stupid but not what I was looking for.
I get to the cardiologist, get the news that there has been no change in the blockage in my LAD but I am still ineligible for bypass surgery. Then I am set an appointment to have another heart cath done. No freakin' way. I have had my heart root rooter ed 7 times in the last 3 years, and I think that if 4 Stents aren't doing the trick something else needs to be done. I haven't even made it to true middle age just yet. Lame. Final notes from the heart doctor. Keep taking your meds, the angina will eventually fix itself, and it'S not getting worse (even though it's not getting better either).
Straight from the heart doctor I go to counseling. I like the lady I go see. We had a weird conversation today, however, that made me doubt myself. She asked if tv or movies ever made me cry. I, not trying to be funny answered honestly "no... I did cry at the last episode of stargate sg1 but that was just because I felt like I was losing my friends." That was all she said about it, but it was weird question that I stewed on the rest of the day. Am I really a non-empathetic douchebag? I felt like one.
I finally make it back home and not 5 minutes later I have both an electrician and a plumber at my door. My home isn't horrible but it certainly isn't up to my standards. I have unflushed paper in my toilet and still had water in my tub from my shower this morning (nothing has been draining right in days) floors are unswept, I still have laundry folded on my couch and it still smells like mildew from my grand washing machine explosion a week ago.
I don't like unexpected guests. They freak me out. There are six dudes trampling around my home, I am hyperventilating amidst sneezing and sniffling (cedar fever gets me every year at this time) and my two daschunds are going apeshit. I freeze as I watch in unison the electrician accidentally punch a hole in my kitchen wall and a plumber shouting "that has to be the nastiest hair clog I have ever seen". I wanted to just die. I didn't want to explain my meds are making my hair fall out so I said nothing. The electrician and his assistant replaced the plug, told me he would get with the landlord to schedule someone to patch the hole and the plumbers filed out of my tiny bathroom, auger in hand, explaining they would have to either access the main line or pull up my toilet to figure out why it wouldn't flush... maybe tomorrow.
Does anyone else struggle with unexpected guests like this? I know for the next couple of weeks I will be constantly peeking out of my window like a tweaker just so I am not surprised again.
Silver lining? This day is done. Tomorrow is another shot at a good day.
I get to the cardiologist, get the news that there has been no change in the blockage in my LAD but I am still ineligible for bypass surgery. Then I am set an appointment to have another heart cath done. No freakin' way. I have had my heart root rooter ed 7 times in the last 3 years, and I think that if 4 Stents aren't doing the trick something else needs to be done. I haven't even made it to true middle age just yet. Lame. Final notes from the heart doctor. Keep taking your meds, the angina will eventually fix itself, and it'S not getting worse (even though it's not getting better either).
Straight from the heart doctor I go to counseling. I like the lady I go see. We had a weird conversation today, however, that made me doubt myself. She asked if tv or movies ever made me cry. I, not trying to be funny answered honestly "no... I did cry at the last episode of stargate sg1 but that was just because I felt like I was losing my friends." That was all she said about it, but it was weird question that I stewed on the rest of the day. Am I really a non-empathetic douchebag? I felt like one.
I finally make it back home and not 5 minutes later I have both an electrician and a plumber at my door. My home isn't horrible but it certainly isn't up to my standards. I have unflushed paper in my toilet and still had water in my tub from my shower this morning (nothing has been draining right in days) floors are unswept, I still have laundry folded on my couch and it still smells like mildew from my grand washing machine explosion a week ago.
I don't like unexpected guests. They freak me out. There are six dudes trampling around my home, I am hyperventilating amidst sneezing and sniffling (cedar fever gets me every year at this time) and my two daschunds are going apeshit. I freeze as I watch in unison the electrician accidentally punch a hole in my kitchen wall and a plumber shouting "that has to be the nastiest hair clog I have ever seen". I wanted to just die. I didn't want to explain my meds are making my hair fall out so I said nothing. The electrician and his assistant replaced the plug, told me he would get with the landlord to schedule someone to patch the hole and the plumbers filed out of my tiny bathroom, auger in hand, explaining they would have to either access the main line or pull up my toilet to figure out why it wouldn't flush... maybe tomorrow.
Does anyone else struggle with unexpected guests like this? I know for the next couple of weeks I will be constantly peeking out of my window like a tweaker just so I am not surprised again.
Silver lining? This day is done. Tomorrow is another shot at a good day.