Midlife crisis in my early 20's

[Silmarwen18]

Or least that's what it feels like...
Im trying to do things to occupy my mind such as crafts (my fave!), video gaming, volunteering in an animal shelter and attending a weekly bible study but Im still constantly unable to get unstuck. My job has become something of a leech with co workers constantly biting at me when I ask questions or making me feel useless... my boss is just rude and they just cant seem to get their sh** together... I answer the phone for one guy and he screams at me because he was just around the corner so I stopped answering his phone and then next minute hes at his desk so I leave his phone for him to answer and he just yells at me to answer his phone because hes obviously busy... hes just a dick...honestly im at my wits end... I cant possibly work any harder... I got to the end of last week and slept for 12 hours straight :/ I feel like im constantly stuck in this cycle and I want out!!! I want to quit my stressful job but I have rent and bills to pay, I want to study to work with animals because that's what I love but I have no money and have to quit my day job to do so... I go home and relax with some coloured pencils and the TV for background noise but I get all of two hours max before routine takes over again... (cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, getting some sleep) and my anxiety is through the roof again...Im already on an anti depressant to keep it at bay but lately its been failing badly... Im going to the doctors tonight to see if I need a does increase or whatever... Im biting my nails to sh** (if anyone knows how to stop nail biting that would be great... and no bitter nail polish doesn't work I grow accustomed to the taste and bite through it :/ )

Does anyone have any advice? Im about one smart ass comment away from walking out the door regardless of money priorities...

[Im-Suffering]

** Where there is a will, there is a way, my dear child. I have bolded and underlined your powerful statement to self (and separated it from the rest of the post), a declaration of intent, in your quote - It is the only sentence with power and not weakness. **

Useing your imagination, and reasoning faculty, you are to work out a plan to move into your new life that you have been dreaming about. This decision alone will bring a sense of joy, power, and relief, and with willpower, determination, and clarity you will achieve your passion



Or least that's what it feels like...
Im trying to do things to occupy my mind such as crafts (my fave!), video gaming, volunteering in an animal shelter and attending a weekly bible study but Im still constantly unable to get unstuck. My job has become something of a leech with co workers constantly biting at me when I ask questions or making me feel useless... my boss is just rude and they just cant seem to get their sh** together... I answer the phone for one guy and he screams at me because he was just around the corner so I stopped answering his phone and then next minute hes at his desk so I leave his phone for him to answer and he just yells at me to answer his phone because hes obviously busy... hes just a dick...honestly im at my wits end... I cant possibly work any harder... I got to the end of last week and slept for 12 hours straight :/

I feel like im constantly stuck in this cycle and I want out!!! I want to quit my stressful job but I have rent and bills to pay, I want to study to work with animals because that's what I love but I have no money and have to quit my day job to do so

I go home and relax with some coloured pencils and the TV for background noise but I get all of two hours max before routine takes over again... (cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, getting some sleep) and my anxiety is through the roof again...Im already on an anti depressant to keep it at bay but lately its been failing badly... Im going to the doctors tonight to see if I need a does increase or whatever... Im biting my nails to sh** (if anyone knows how to stop nail biting that would be great... and no bitter nail polish doesn't work I grow accustomed to the taste and bite through it :/ )

Does anyone have any advice? Im about one smart ass comment away from walking out the door regardless of money priorities...

Now, to discuss the obstacles (mental) that stand in the way of attainment:

There is much more to life than meets the eye. There is a depth to experiences that you are unaware of as yet, because you are still learning (observing life by merely skimming the surface of events rather than looking and searching for meaning) - What does it feel like to feel badly about yourself.

Money is a life-theme. Meaning its one of the big learning-challenges faced by all people (including the wealthy). Health for example, relationships, and their offshoots, anger, guilt, resentments, these are life themes. Shame, blame, victim-hood. A life theme is a set of challenges revolving around a topic, that seems to frame all of your experiences and events until faced, healed and overcome. The purpose of life is the journey, and how you face challenges, use your gifts, and meet opportunities. These things you are accountable for, in a 'final' accounting, so to speak. When all is said and done. Not your new car, home, but what you are 'being' while you are 'doing'.

Look then, at how you are being. Do you wake in the morning, look in the mirror, and say "If this were my final day on earth, would i be doing what i am doing?". Am I happy?

Money does not need to come from 'work' alone, Money comes to those who are psychologically ready for it. And so swiftly, and in such large quantities, they begin to wonder where it has always been hiding. Money to a large degree equals self worth and personal power, both of which you lack at this point. Rather lack the firm sense of self to speak your truth, and live that.

If you bargain with life for a penny, thats what you will get. And you may be abused (psychologically at work, or in a relationship for example) while your at it.

Self worth
esteem
power
choice
firm decisions
belief
trust
love
faith
desire
imagination
persistence
planning
dignity
honor
value
integrity
will
determination
dreaming - a burning desire for achievement

These are the characteristics and faculties used to attract money in great quantities and often with no work at all. Take a self-assessment.

It is your journey, and you are learning to value self, period. Money is the physical manifestation of value and in proportionate quantities to that self worth, in thought, deed, and speech. -

Now, with strong intent, I say to you :

You must take steps to move into your dream life. You must recognize and heal every false belief you have about the self that sets the limitations of what is and isnt possible. These beliefs (facts) or ideas about life must be questioned for any true change to take place in both mind and body, instilling the appropriate FAITH, and BELIEF in self to initiate ACTION towards your goals, fulfillment. So a self-exam is usually in order, of the psyche. With limiting beliefs removed, and a little elbow grease, the universe like a xerox machine will reproduce physically for you, that which has been a mental dream with strong intent.

Now, i do not have time to respond to every post on these forums, so one like this will do for all of you with similar issues, and you know who you are (you, reading this now).

That is all. Peace, and prosperity to all of you ! May you all find yourselves.