Do I have derealization? suicidal thoughts

[pluto90]

I don't know if this is a symptom of anxiety, but for me since my anxiety has come back again, the world starts to feel really weird in ways that I can't really describe. Suddenly everything feels foreign to me and its like im being in a body for the first time and feeling things for the first time. It feels really scary and it feels like this really frequently when I have anxiety, and when it happens, it makes my anxiety worse and builds on this. Its like being in reality feels really weird and uncomfortable. I used to have this happen a lot but it was when I was a lot longer and it hasn't come back since my anxiety was this bad. Is this derealization? When I looked it up, it sounded like it, but not exactly.

I hate feeling like this and a lot of times it lasts past my anxiety and then just makes my anxiety come back again because I start panicing and wondering why this is happening and why reality feels so weird and why everything feels really weird and existential. Even in my most comfortable place at home with my family I still feel so far away from them because of how foreign things feel. I don't want to live like this. I can't sleep at night because of it and im up for hours with my heart and thoughts racing and trying to take medication to calm them down but they dont.

I think what worries me most is that im unique and that im the only one whose experienced something like this because I can't find anything exactly the same online. I just want to know that it can be helped and go away.

[gypsylee]

I don't know if this is a symptom of anxiety, but for me since my anxiety has come back again, the world starts to feel really weird in ways that I can't really describe. Suddenly everything feels foreign to me and its like im being in a body for the first time and feeling things for the first time. It feels really scary and it feels like this really frequently when I have anxiety, and when it happens, it makes my anxiety worse and builds on this. Its like being in reality feels really weird and uncomfortable. I used to have this happen a lot but it was when I was a lot longer and it hasn't come back since my anxiety was this bad. Is this derealization? When I looked it up, it sounded like it, but not exactly.

I hate feeling like this and a lot of times it lasts past my anxiety and then just makes my anxiety come back again because I start panicing and wondering why this is happening and why reality feels so weird and why everything feels really weird and existential. Even in my most comfortable place at home with my family I still feel so far away from them because of how foreign things feel. I don't want to live like this. I can't sleep at night because of it and im up for hours with my heart and thoughts racing and trying to take medication to calm them down but they dont.

I think what worries me most is that im unique and that im the only one whose experienced something like this because I can't find anything exactly the same online. I just want to know that it can be helped and go away.

Hi Pluto and welcome :)

Yes this is derealisation. It's a broad thing so everyone experiences it a bit differently.

What it is really is being super self-conscious, which is very common for anxious people. Basically you're hyper aware of how you feel. I get this all the time, especially when I leave my comfort zone eg. When I first leave the house and go out in traffic. For a while there I feel very weird because I'm on high alert, even though I might not feel particularly anxious. Sometimes I feel like a complete zombie, say if I've had no sleep or I haven't left the house in a while. It's a horrible feeling but it's normal for anxiety disorder.

During times of acute anxiety I've had it non-stop. I remember feeling like I was in a "bubble" removed from people around me and life in general.

What medication are you on? SSRIs (Prozac, Zoloft etc) have been my saviour. Benzos (Valium etc) can also be very helpful in the short-term.

Bye for now,
Gypsy x

[alyssum]

I recently have been diagnosed with anxiety, I didn't know I had it until I experienced a panic attack and I too have been feeling very different lately. I feel sad a lot more than usual, not over anything, just sad. And I've experienced more of a depersonalization than a derealization. Feeling totally out of whack is not fun, it's scary. Feeling like you can't interact in your own surroundings quite frankly sucks. You are not alone. I hope it gets better for you.