gadguy
03-20-2015, 07:25 AM
Since Monday, I have been flooded with things that I have suppressed over my entire life. As a child I learned to put up walls to protect myself from the outside world, but in doing so I also put up walls eternally to protect myself for things that had hurt or caused me harm(memories) and in great part have to due with my anxiety issues. It is way to much to get into but I am feeling so much better about myself now that I have started to face my demons and allowed myself to forgive and even understand why some things happened. Lets just say as a 10 year old it made no sense to be so cruel, but As a 50 year old I am able to process it better and can see the other side, still something a 10 year old should have not had to deal with, but i have had to allow myself to relive it with new eyes and can let it go. I never realized I was still carrying that stuff around.
I can than I'm-Suffering for opening my eyes last Monday, I cab also thank my Doctor for not calling in my sleep prescription ( 4th time this has happened also I fired him.) so I was sleepless Tuesday and Wednesday nights....and boy did the dreams start coming back, so much stuff. Thursday I was so tired I had to leave work, but somehow was able to process the stuff that has come flooding back.
Also tried acupuncture yesterday, I had hoped it would help me sleep. I have never felt so trapped in my life. I found it extremely uncomfortable...its not for me.
Threw my diet into wind and indulged.
Got a great nights sleep with help of sleeping meds(need to work on that).
This morning I feel like a new man, but I am also trying to be realistic to, there are going to be things that will want to set me back...I have just got to learn not to allow it to take control again. I sure there will be setbacks, but knowing that I am prepared.
I can than I'm-Suffering for opening my eyes last Monday, I cab also thank my Doctor for not calling in my sleep prescription ( 4th time this has happened also I fired him.) so I was sleepless Tuesday and Wednesday nights....and boy did the dreams start coming back, so much stuff. Thursday I was so tired I had to leave work, but somehow was able to process the stuff that has come flooding back.
Also tried acupuncture yesterday, I had hoped it would help me sleep. I have never felt so trapped in my life. I found it extremely uncomfortable...its not for me.
Threw my diet into wind and indulged.
Got a great nights sleep with help of sleeping meds(need to work on that).
This morning I feel like a new man, but I am also trying to be realistic to, there are going to be things that will want to set me back...I have just got to learn not to allow it to take control again. I sure there will be setbacks, but knowing that I am prepared.