SportingSun
03-19-2015, 07:05 PM
I've always had more anxiety than the "average" person. It's changed throughout the years, sometimes going away completely, usually pretty mild (I can go days without feeling anxious) but sometimes severe. My triggers used to be stress at school, stress from sick pets, going to new places, social situations, and family tension. I managed to get over these things for the most part (sick pets still sometimes trigger and I have 1 very sickly pet) and am very proud of that. I still like to avoid new places and social situations but I'm much better about these things for the most part.
However I've now become extremely health conscious and I think I've become a hypochondriac. It started abruptly one night. I was nervous about my parents going away for a weekend and leaving me with a lot of extra responsibilities. But I thought I was coping. Then I was driving home and out of the blue had a complete panic attack, couldn't see, hear, just freaked out. Got myself calmed down, drove home, and never said a word about it. At the time I didn't recognize it as a panic attack and was thinking worst case scenario, brain tumor, heart problems, vision problems, etc. It turned into full blown health anxiety and now any twinge, twitch, muscle pain, headache, back pain, etc etc etc etc is THE WORST POSSIBLE THING. I either have a brain tumor, a heart problem, MS, eye cancer, blood clot, or insert random illness of the day here.
I had been doing well. I realized my triggers were hearing/seeing/reading about any sort of health related problem, so I cut out reading any sort of medical article, watching medical related tv shows, and deleted the web md symptom checker from my phone.
But today I made the mistake of picking up a magazine with an article about unlikely medical ailments and one involved a rather young person having a heart attack. I couldn't stop reading. I knew I would end up obsessing about it but I read it anyway. I was busy for most of the day, so I didn't have time to think about it. But now I'm sitting in class and I feel like I'm having a heart attack. Or more accurately, I have chest pain. I was fine for about half of the class, then I felt the anxiety attack coming on. I started to feel light headed, had to force myself to breathe, couldn't concentrate or focus on anything. Then the chest pain started, and the inability to sit still, the paranoia, blurry vision. I had caffeine today, which makes things worse of course. I'm now sitting here, trying to calm myself down but unable to focus on anything but the fact that some irrational part of my brain thinks I'm having a heart attack.
I know I need help, I'm tired of living like this, but I don't know what to do.
However I've now become extremely health conscious and I think I've become a hypochondriac. It started abruptly one night. I was nervous about my parents going away for a weekend and leaving me with a lot of extra responsibilities. But I thought I was coping. Then I was driving home and out of the blue had a complete panic attack, couldn't see, hear, just freaked out. Got myself calmed down, drove home, and never said a word about it. At the time I didn't recognize it as a panic attack and was thinking worst case scenario, brain tumor, heart problems, vision problems, etc. It turned into full blown health anxiety and now any twinge, twitch, muscle pain, headache, back pain, etc etc etc etc is THE WORST POSSIBLE THING. I either have a brain tumor, a heart problem, MS, eye cancer, blood clot, or insert random illness of the day here.
I had been doing well. I realized my triggers were hearing/seeing/reading about any sort of health related problem, so I cut out reading any sort of medical article, watching medical related tv shows, and deleted the web md symptom checker from my phone.
But today I made the mistake of picking up a magazine with an article about unlikely medical ailments and one involved a rather young person having a heart attack. I couldn't stop reading. I knew I would end up obsessing about it but I read it anyway. I was busy for most of the day, so I didn't have time to think about it. But now I'm sitting in class and I feel like I'm having a heart attack. Or more accurately, I have chest pain. I was fine for about half of the class, then I felt the anxiety attack coming on. I started to feel light headed, had to force myself to breathe, couldn't concentrate or focus on anything. Then the chest pain started, and the inability to sit still, the paranoia, blurry vision. I had caffeine today, which makes things worse of course. I'm now sitting here, trying to calm myself down but unable to focus on anything but the fact that some irrational part of my brain thinks I'm having a heart attack.
I know I need help, I'm tired of living like this, but I don't know what to do.