How do you get over feeling like there's something wrong with you?

[Zoot]

Or do you? It's strange, because I don't judge other people who are depressed or have issues with anxiety--at least, I don't think I do. But I feel as though there is something fundamentally wrong with me because I get so desperate, or that I'll never be healthy because there is just something fundamentally wrong with the way I've been put together. Do others struggle with this feeling? Has anyone got past it?

[Zoot]

For what it's worth, in thinking about this question I realized that I am telling myself there's something wrong with me. This made me also realize that I would be damned pissed off (and possibly mortified) if someone else told me the same thing. I 'm not sure whether it will ultimately clear up the issue but I felt compelled to give myself a big "fuck you." Similarly, if someone I loved--like one of my sons--had these same struggles and someone told him there was something wrong with him, I would want to beat that person senseless.

[Goomba]

You can get beyond it, but as to how you specifically will do it, only you truly know.

You immediately bring up judgment in your post, and discuss at length angry feelings to those that would dare misjudge you or your loved ones. Perhaps this is a place to start?

What about being judged by others is an issue for you?
What would others telling you there is something wrong with you affirm within yourself?
How do you judge yourself?

You are right in saying that you are telling yourself this belief. This is something you have cultivated yourself. Reflection on your life experiences will provide insight on how you are feeling now. Identify, and own your experiences, and how they have impacted you. This includes the positive, along with the negative. Nothing is fundamentally wrong with you, that is a wall (In my opinion) that you have built up to help you cope and avoid dealing with the deeper issues.

I am not sure what your story is, but keep in mind that you do not have to face deep trauma to experience these mental blocks.

Something within you is wanting to change/grow, and this is the way it is manifesting itself.

[Zoot]

You can get beyond it, but as to how you specifically will do it, only you truly know.

You immediately bring up judgment in your post, and discuss at length angry feelings to those that would dare misjudge you or your loved ones. Perhaps this is a place to start?

What about being judged by others is an issue for you?
What would other telling you there is something wrong with you affirm within yourself?
How do you judge yourself?

You are right in saying that you are telling yourself this belief. This is something you have cultivated yourself. Reflection on your life experiences will provide insight on how you are feelings now. Identify, and own your experiences, and how they have impacted you. This includes the positive, along with the negative. Nothing is fundamentally wrong with you, that is a wall (In my opinion) that you have built up to help you cope and avoid dealing with the deeper issues.

I am not sure what your story is, but keep in mind that you do not have to face deep trauma to experience these mental blocks.

Something within you is wanting to change/grow, and this is the way it is manifesting itself.

Thank you for your post. What you say surprised me, but I know I have deep issues with feeling accepted by others and the possibility of being rejected by them. I had never thought of self-recrimination itself as being a protective wall to avoid dealing with frightening feelings. My experiences in this are were traumatic for me at the time; my group of close friends when I was 12, who had been my close friends since preschool, ostracized me. I was devastated. It seems almost silly now for me to dwell on it, and I don't really--it's in the past and we were all just kids. But I do feel that it had a significant impact on how I approach relationships with other people. I don't really trust people and I constantly seek reassurances from them or else distance myself from them entirely. Because of this, I'm not as emotionally supportive to others as I feel I should be. It's a pattern that's contributing to problems in my marriage at the moment.

Anyway, I have work to do here, though I'm unsure of how to move forward. I've begun seeing a psychologist how might be able to help me with this.

Thanks again for your thoughtful response.

[Goomba]

Hey, no problem.

I got caught up playing guitar and chatting. I now need to go to dinner with a friend.

I will edit this post later in response to yours. It will be a few hours, at least.

Edit:

It is easier to accept that something is wrong with you, than to confront the experiences (trauma, guilt, being ostracized). You may not be mentally dwelling on it, but it more than likely has continued to manifest in different ways throughout your life (Which, as I'm re-reading, you do blatantly say that it has periodically affected relationships). You communicated that it is now affecting your marriage to a degree.

Again - its easier to accept something is wrong than to do the emotional work on the relationships that define your life.

Not trusting others, seeking reassurance, distancing; these are all methods of protecting yourself from further pain. To make sense of the pain, it then becomes something must be wrong with me.

With this in place you have an explanation, and do not have to confront your hardship.

Through owning your experience, and re-assessing your social guards (not trusting, etc) you will find the part of yourself that you are trying to express. Through expression you will learn that you have the power to live healthily, and fully.

This is just my opinion of course, you will have to fine tune it to your experience. Working with a psychologist is an excellent opportunity to do that.