New member - kathyhi

[kathy1]

hi

my name is kathy and i am suffering from debilitating clinical depression and chronic anxiety. it has taken over my life, i am not functional and i have constant intense fear and what i think are logical thoughts about various things.

i had this breakdown five months ago and am not currently taking any medication except Kalms for the last three days. i did try Efexor for 5 days back when it happened five months ago but i had a bad reaction, i had previously taken Efexor five years ago and i am very afraid of medication.

my family are suffering very badly and my husband has suggested that i go back on medication but i am terribly afraid because of the bad reaction i had years ago. i am at the end of my coping abilities with this and would like any advice you can give me. i feel i have been to the very edge of a near death experience and it frightened me badly and i am quite an intuitive person and i feel this experience gave me insight into certain things about the human body and dying.

sorry this is a long post

kathyx

[Music_lover]

Hello Kathy. I'm Holly. I'm afraid to take medication too, so I don't blame you for not wanting to. Especially if the last experience was that bad. Maybe you should go see a therapist? Maybe that would help. Or at least help you sort out things and thoughts. I'm sorry I don't know any other advice.

Take care.

[kathy1]

Hello Holly

Thank you for replying. I am very nervous of meds although my hubby says i am going to have to go on something. i just know from having been on before and being part of a group that helps to bring people off psychotropic meds the problems these drugs cause. they do not help in the long run at all, people go into tolerance and then getting off them can be a huge problem.

not everyone has problems but i know a lot do. do you not take anything Holly?

kathyx

[Jen3535]

I am Jen, 35 from Surrey, I have symptoms which i think is anxiety, I suffer from Air hunger, the constant need to take a deep breath, when my body feels like i havent taken enough air, my brain starts telling me YOUR GOING DIE !!!!! so i am here to find out if anyone suffers the same thing and if so what can i do, i am at the point where i am afraid to be left alone, and go out alone

[kathy1]

Hi Jen

thanks for replying. i know what you mean. you need to practice breathing exercises regularly so that your body eventually just does it automatically. it takes practice. i have dry mouth, eyes, inner vibrations, insect crawling sensations in my hair and face and tingling in my legs too. are you on meds? i also have these really strange thoughts which i can't convince myself are not real. i cannot go out or be left alone which is really scary, can't cope with my three kids on my own and can't cope when my hubby is home either.

it is hard to explain to people what anxiety is like. it is not just like a bit of nervousness before an interview it is overwhelming and intense fear all the time.

try breathing in for 4, hold for 2/3 and breathe out for 6. it takes practice though.

best wishes to you
kathyx

[Robbed]

I don't blame you for not wanting to go on meds. The fact is that a VERY large percentage of people who try them have problems with them. And, as others have said, even when they work their best, they are not a true solution to your problem. As for finding a therapist, I recommend you first ask them how they feel about your decision to stay away from meds. MANY therapists won't respect your decision, and will try to get you back on them. SO ask before visiting.

As for what to do now, realize that everything you are experiencing is simply a symptom of anxiety disorder. Regardless of how unpleasant or uncomfortable you might feel, the symptoms present no danger to you. Try your best to go out and do things despite your symptoms. The WORST thing you can do is stay home. If you learn to accept your symptoms and live your life as best as you can despite them, this will most DEFINITELY help you to heal.

[Jen3535]

Hi Guys,

Just reading the replies on here really helps, Today i went out for a while, had a few attacks of air hunger but tried to ignore it, once or twice i got myself into a mess but just sat in the car.... I am a little stressed tonight tho, as the builders have left my house ina bit of a mess, and i am trying so hard not to let it get to me... I have just run a bath, and am going to try and relax with a few candles...cup of tea.... then after that read more forum stuff, while watching the telly.
Today i was looking at hypnotherpy for anxiety, have any of u tried it?

Jen

[kathy1]

hi jen

not tried hynotherapy, i do have a therapist who is trying to teach me cbt. i just have these really scary thoughts that i am convinced are true - see thread called psychotic - and i can't get rid of them.

i am non functional, housebound, intense fear all the time, depression, not comfortable with meds, getting worse I think, can't be with people, can't be without people, feel at the end of my tether. i made an attempt on my life five years ago. no one else seems to have these kinds of thoughts. they seem to have things like what if i lose control, what if i have a heart attack. i don't have these, i just think i know what it is like to die cos i felt i had a nde and it has scared me.

please, has anyone had similar thoughts to me at all?

kathyxx

[kathy1]

hi jen

not tried hynotherapy, i do have a therapist who is trying to teach me cbt. i just have these really scary thoughts that i am convinced are true - see thread called psychotic - and i can't get rid of them.

i am non functional, housebound, intense fear all the time, depression, not comfortable with meds, getting worse I think, can't be with people, can't be without people, feel at the end of my tether. i made an attempt on my life five years ago. no one else seems to have these kinds of thoughts. they seem to have things like what if i lose control, what if i have a heart attack. i don't have these, i just think i know what it is like to die cos i felt i had a nde and it has scared me.

please, has anyone had similar thoughts to me at all?

kathyxx

[saira]

Hi Kathy,

I know exactly how you feel. I go through the same thing. For the past 6 months I have been having anxiety, the doctors all told me to take meds, but I refuse to. I know my body, and it doesnt take drugs well. I always end up having some reaction that leaves me worse than before. My husband and I have had numerous arguments about this, since he doesnt understand what i feel. i get extremely anxious when i think about taking meds. however, i still feel many many symptoms, which I am constantly ignoring. i feel like one of these days its going to get really bad and i will lose control of myself. this is a constant worry which i am constantly trying to ignore. i just want to feel reassurance that anxiety cannot kill me.

[saira]

As for what you mentioned about not being able to be with people or without. I feel the same. when i am around people i feel extremely anxious, and feel like I need to escape. However, when I am alone I feel like I need someone around in case something happens. You aren't the only one that feels this way. I feel really alone at times since I know my husband doesnt quite understand what I feel or go through. I try to be strong and I try to convince myself nothing is wrong, but its really difficult at times.

I always feel like I am weak and about to faint, I have started eating a lot more in hopes that I will feel better. But its all in my head. Just try to convince yourself that nothing will happen. Distract your mind. It has helped me a few times.

[kathy1]

hi saira

living through anxiety is a nightmare and not understood by those who haven't experienced it. if it was mild nervousness prior to an interview that i could cope with but this is intense fear all the time. not really having panic attacks as such but the anxietyis immense.

i have these weird thoughts and i cant convince myself they are untrue. it all seems so logical to me.

love kathyxx