thought of as a wierdo... for suffering anxiety

[jeffrocantona]

Anxiety, as common as the cold, but still a subject never spoke about in the everyday confines of the workplace/school/uni......
I freeze up everytime somebody mentions the word weird...It's like a personal attack on my whole being, because i feel that people in general think i'm weird, not because of my behaviour or habits or things that i like or dislike, but because my anxiety makes me feel emotional and nervous around people, and when i know someone has noticed it and they may be audacious enough to say so, wow, thats like the ultimate Armageddon at that particular moment, because it hurts that someone would think i'm weird because of a common ailment i suffer from and the way it affects me, even my own sister and niece have told me they think i'm weird, and it hurts....hopefully i'll find a way to deal with this weird feeling about weirdness i have, maybe even accept the fact that my anxiety does affect me in a kind of weird way,

Much Love

B

[gypsylee]

Anxiety, as common as the cold, but still a subject never spoke about in the everyday confines of the workplace/school/uni......
I freeze up everytime somebody mentions the word weird...It's like a personal attack on my whole being, because i feel that people in general think i'm weird, not because of my behaviour or habits or things that i like or dislike, but because my anxiety makes me feel emotional and nervous around people, and when i know someone has noticed it and they may be audacious enough to say so, wow, thats like the ultimate Armageddon at that particular moment, because it hurts that someone would think i'm weird because of a common ailment i suffer from and the way it affects me, even my own sister and niece have told me they think i'm weird, and it hurts....hopefully i'll find a way to deal with this weird feeling about weirdness i have, maybe even accept the fact that my anxiety does affect me in a kind of weird way,

Much Love

B

Hi there :)

I know exactly what you mean. When I'm in the "acute" phase of anxiety and get social phobia so bad I'm scared to leave the house, I'm terrified someone might notice how "weird" I am. I'm scared even a person at the check-out in a shop might say "are you ok? You seem a bit weird". That would be like the worst thing in the world for me. So you are not alone in this :)

All the best,
Gypsy x

[1Bluerose68]

It sounds like your Listening too much to what you think you hear on the outside. Not enough good thoughts of yourself on the inside. The inside is what needs reinforcements. Then wear some head phones and walk and rock away when outside, and then you wont even think that you heard 1 put down using the ,"Weirdo" word. Try to love yourself 1st, then open up later on when you are ok with yourself. Seek assistance from a therapist and ask your gen med Dr for a referral if he/she feels it's necessary. I am that way when I run out of my Anti-Anxiety meds. So I tend to isolate more than to go out when I run out of my rx for anxiety.


Good Luck

[jeffrocantona]

Thank you Gypsy,

Yea i've got a real thing with people calling me weird, it cuts right to my anxiety's funny bone, but it aint funny, i think its quite obvious to many people that i suffer a form of mental illness, but its such a taboo subject that people are uncomfortable talking about, nobody would ever offer help or support in everyday life, coming on here and talking helps a lot and I hope it helps you too, i think its really cool and kind the way you help and support people on here, thanks for taking time to reply :)


Hi there :)

I know exactly what you mean. When I'm in the "acute" phase of anxiety and get social phobia so bad I'm scared to leave the house, I'm terrified someone might notice how "weird" I am. I'm scared even a person at the check-out in a shop might say "are you ok? You seem a bit weird". That would be like the worst thing in the world for me. So you are not alone in this :)

All the best,
Gypsy x[/QUOTE]

[Im-Suffering]

Thank you Gypsy,

Yea i've got a real thing with people calling me weird, it cuts right to my anxiety's funny bone, but it aint funny, i think its quite obvious to many people that i suffer a form of mental illness, but its such a taboo subject that people are uncomfortable talking about, nobody would ever offer help or support in everyday life, coming on here and talking helps a lot and I hope it helps you too, i think its really cool and kind the way you help and support people on here, thanks for taking time to reply :)


Hi there :)

I know exactly what you mean. When I'm in the "acute" phase of anxiety and get social phobia so bad I'm scared to leave the house, I'm terrified someone might notice how "weird" I am. I'm scared even a person at the check-out in a shop might say "are you ok? You seem a bit weird". That would be like the worst thing in the world for me. So you are not alone in this :)

All the best,
Gypsy x

Listen carefully -

What other influential figureheads, or authority figures in your life have put you down, restrained freedom of speech, stifled your expression, criticized you, as a person and in your efforts.

Who did this so often and consistently you started to believe them?

Youve got a unique story, Jeff. Its called your life thus far, and you need to not only tell it, with pride, and your head up, but recount it, searching for the moments that you believed the lies about who you are. Any thought that makes you feel badly is a lie that was told to you, about who you are, and you believed it. Read that sentence 100 times.

You are not to accept that you are less than, incapable of, no matter who told you, you are not to believe it and blame it on some dis-ease. Feeling badly is not synonymous with mental illness, feeling badly is a lie. "Weird" is not the effect of, but the cause of the anxiety, do you understand? You felt this way long before you began to feel anxious, or even felt your own truth. First you feel pain, hurt, and then shut down. Once shut you become overly sensitive - losing that connection with your heart. Any intrusion to the ego then becomes 'armageddon' or death of the self.

All lies, false beliefs, some hidden (sub) some conscious:

"I have a mental illness"
"I am weird"
"I am less than perfect"
"I am no good"
"I am a bad person"
"I dont deserve to be here"
"I dont deserve happiness"
"I am a screwup"
"I am a burden"
"I am not normal"
"I have low esteem"
"I am different, not normal"
"I am prey to the thoughts of others"
"I am easily influenced"
"I am without a sure sense of self"
"I am hopeless"
"I am defenseless"
"I am defective"

"I AM THAT WHICH I BELIEVE MYSELF TO BE" "And if I knew the power within me to control my own mind, I would dream of becoming the best I can ever be, and protect my mind like a fortress against negative influences of others"


"I AM" statements are the most powerful in the universe, if you only knew of their authority you would take the time to view self in a different light, creating the life that you want, not anyone elses, or against anothers standards, or what another expects from you, but what I WANT. I would treat myself well, with high esteem and watch my feelings, knowing I can change any belief for the better, any time, any place, in a moments notice"

"I would expect better, live better, express more, create on purpose as opposed to haphazard and fearfully. I would use the I AM commands to say 'I AM here, freedom is my birthright, expression is my right, feeling good is my right, joy is my right"

People in your life, in and out of it, are mere reflections of the mirror figure you project, and so if you didnt think yourself 'weird' you would not be affected by it. If you even heard it. So along the time-lines of your life - you heard weird (or the equivalent) enough in reference to self, that you began to believe it. The lies told about you, the lies you begin to tell yourself. And what you believe, you become, no exceptions.

[jeffrocantona]

Thanks Bluerose,
Yea i've done CBT and that does help in regards to the way i think and things i worry about, also i'm on 20mg fluoxetine(prozac i think), they don't really help with the physical affects of anxiety but they do help with the depression thinking about the affect of the physical affects!! I've tried many things to try to improve self esteem which seem to work for short times until the bubble bursts and its back to square 1, i suppose my confidence is quite fragile, it's nice to communicate with helpful people like you on here though, it feels good, thank you for taking time to reply and be supportive, I hope you continue to find positive ways to deal with your anxiety... :)

[jeffrocantona]

Thank you, I will certainly take this inspirational speech on board and try to use it to boost my paper mache ego, therevis lots of things on there i really like, and you don't sound like you're suffering I'm Suffering, you sound empowered, thanks again :)

[Im-Suffering]

Thank you, I will certainly take this inspirational speech on board and try to use it to boost my paper mache ego, therevis lots of things on there i really like, and you don't sound like you're suffering I'm Suffering, you sound empowered, thanks again :)

Many blessings, remember, your journey is your own. To make of it as you wish.

[PanicCured]

Anxiety, as common as the cold, but still a subject never spoke about in the everyday confines of the workplace/school/uni......
I freeze up everytime somebody mentions the word weird...It's like a personal attack on my whole being, because i feel that people in general think i'm weird, not because of my behaviour or habits or things that i like or dislike, but because my anxiety makes me feel emotional and nervous around people, and when i know someone has noticed it and they may be audacious enough to say so, wow, thats like the ultimate Armageddon at that particular moment, because it hurts that someone would think i'm weird because of a common ailment i suffer from and the way it affects me, even my own sister and niece have told me they think i'm weird, and it hurts....hopefully i'll find a way to deal with this weird feeling about weirdness i have, maybe even accept the fact that my anxiety does affect me in a kind of weird way,

Much Love

B

It is funny how people care what other people think, when that person is so far from getting their own shit together. As if we all are supposed to fit into a perfect mold and if you aren't exactly like the rest of the sheep you are considered weird. As lame as current pop culture is, I would wear being weird as a badge of pride. If someone never experienced anxiety, they probably won't empathize with you. You don;t need other people to justify or validate you. But these things don't matter. I heard a great quote once, "It's none of my business what you think of me." I had massive panic attacks in public places before with crowds watching as I they put me in an ambulance, and at the time I was embarrassed but now I couldn't give a shit! I now laugh at it when I think of it.
Just focus on getting rid of your anxiety and not obsessing on what idiots think of you.

[gypsylee]

You're welcome :)

[gypsylee]

It is funny how people care what other people think, when that person is so far from getting their own shit together. As if we all are supposed to fit into a perfect mold and if you aren't exactly like the rest of the sheep you are considered weird. As lame as current pop culture is, I would wear being weird as a badge of pride. If someone never experienced anxiety, they probably won't empathize with you. You don;t need other people to justify or validate you. But these things don't matter. I heard a great quote once, "It's none of my business what you think of me." I had massive panic attacks in public places before with crowds watching as I they put me in an ambulance, and at the time I was embarrassed but now I couldn't give a shit! I now laugh at it when I think of it.
Just focus on getting rid of your anxiety and not obsessing on what idiots think of you.

This...........

[jeffrocantona]

It is funny how people care what other people think, when that person is so far from getting their own shit together. As if we all are supposed to fit into a perfect mold and if you aren't exactly like the rest of the sheep you are considered weird. As lame as current pop culture is, I would wear being weird as a badge of pride. If someone never experienced anxiety, they probably won't empathize with you. You don;t need other people to justify or validate you. But these things don't matter. I heard a great quote once, "It's none of my business what you think of me." I had massive panic attacks in public places before with crowds watching as I they put me in an ambulance, and at the time I was embarrassed but now I couldn't give a shit! I now laugh at it when I think of it.
Just focus on getting rid of your anxiety and not obsessing on what idiots think of you.

Thank you Panic Cured, i don't think i'll ever totally get rid of my anxiety, it will always be there lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce, but i would like to be in control of it, not in fear of it and the physical affects it has on me, often reducing me to a nervous wreck in situations where i'm there to be judged, and making me feel like i want to cry when i'm talking to people for no apparent reason other than trying to have an in depth conversation, i've felt a bit better since coming on here and talking to cool people like you though, and i'm glad youv'e found a way to control you're panic,I think you've got great character to fight your fears and conquer them after the episode you had with the ambulance,
and you're right about modern pop culture, it really is shit!!!!
Thank you :)

[PanicCured]

Thank you Panic Cured, i don't think i'll ever totally get rid of my anxiety, it will always be there lurking in the shadows waiting to pounce, but i would like to be in control of it, not in fear of it and the physical affects it has on me, often reducing me to a nervous wreck in situations where i'm there to be judged, and making me feel like i want to cry when i'm talking to people for no apparent reason other than trying to have an in depth conversation, i've felt a bit better since coming on here and talking to cool people like you though, and i'm glad youv'e found a way to control you're panic,I think you've got great character to fight your fears and conquer them after the episode you had with the ambulance,
and you're right about modern pop culture, it really is shit!!!!
Thank you :)

No you can absolutely 100% get rid of your anxiety, but you have to do the work. I do not control my panic or control my anxiety disorder. It is simply non existent! Gone! Read my Techniques post in the stickies and follow something similar.