Feeling hopeless...can anyone relate??

[krisss]

I'm not even sure if I can relay this message without it making sense. But if anyone can relate to anxiety in general
A lot doesn't even make sense lol. Ive been dealing with anxiety for about 5 years. It all started when I happened to like a guy and then got extreme nausea and would throw up everything I ate (not by making myself sick)it would automatically happen. I lost a lot of weight and ended up in the hospital. It was so embarrassing telling them that I was there because I couldn't eat because i liked a guy! I stopped talking to him so I can feel better. Even though I knew that would make things worse in the long run but I didn't care. I wanted to eat because I was already so skinny.
This sounds like a lot of stupid teenage problems ...but fast forward 5 years later and this nausea and vomitting has practically taken over my life! I haven't had a boyfriend because anytime I even try to attempt to talk to someone my stomach flares up with nausea. I'm terrified of not being able to eat.. It makes me feel less of a human. I see everyone around me enjoying food and I can't. So I have stayed away from dating just hoping one day I'll feel better or get the courage to deal with the ongoing nausea and vomiting. But it's become so deep that I'm literally terrified of dating. I had to quit my job because someone was showing interest in me and I couldn't eat couldn't think couldn't relax or anything! Now... Just being so out of wack... I'm afraid this is turning into an eating disorder. I'm scared of gaining weight because I don't know what it's like not to be skinny but yet I hate being skinny. So I'm depressed because I can't eat like everyone else right now and trying to be strong and push through these thoughts but I practically vomit everything cause I'm so nervous! I recently got my dosage moved up to 40mg citalopram because I was just a wreck..I still have the thoughts and still feel nauseous but not as nervous. I just feel sedated and hopeless :/ these thoughts around eating all the time is freakin killing me! I'm usually such a happy person who LOVES to party..drink casually..dance..and laugh, but this always brings me down and feel like I have no hope for my future.. I've seen countless different therapists with different therapy... Seen a nutritionist.. Had bloodwork and everything done. Somebody know what it's like to live with this debilitating anxiety? Please provide ANY type of insight please

[NixonRulz]

I'm not even sure if I can relay this message without it making sense. But if anyone can relate to anxiety in general
A lot doesn't even make sense lol. Ive been dealing with anxiety for about 5 years. It all started when I happened to like a guy and then got extreme nausea and would throw up everything I ate (not by making myself sick)it would automatically happen. I lost a lot of weight and ended up in the hospital. It was so embarrassing telling them that I was there because I couldn't eat because i liked a guy! I stopped talking to him so I can feel better. Even though I knew that would make things worse in the long run but I didn't care. I wanted to eat because I was already so skinny.
This sounds like a lot of stupid teenage problems ...but fast forward 5 years later and this nausea and vomitting has practically taken over my life! I haven't had a boyfriend because anytime I even try to attempt to talk to someone my stomach flares up with nausea. I'm terrified of not being able to eat.. It makes me feel less of a human. I see everyone around me enjoying food and I can't. So I have stayed away from dating just hoping one day I'll feel better or get the courage to deal with the ongoing nausea and vomiting. But it's become so deep that I'm literally terrified of dating. I had to quit my job because someone was showing interest in me and I couldn't eat couldn't think couldn't relax or anything! Now... Just being so out of wack... I'm afraid this is turning into an eating disorder. I'm scared of gaining weight because I don't know what it's like not to be skinny but yet I hate being skinny. So I'm depressed because I can't eat like everyone else right now and trying to be strong and push through these thoughts but I practically vomit everything cause I'm so nervous! I recently got my dosage moved up to 40mg citalopram because I was just a wreck..I still have the thoughts and still feel nauseous but not as nervous. I just feel sedated and hopeless :/ these thoughts around eating all the time is freakin killing me! I'm usually such a happy person who LOVES to party..drink casually..dance..and laugh, but this always brings me down and feel like I have no hope for my future.. I've seen countless different therapists with different therapy... Seen a nutritionist.. Had bloodwork and everything done. Somebody know what it's like to live with this debilitating anxiety? Please provide ANY type of insight please

Hi, Krisssssss. I like all the "S" in your name

You are afraid of this and that. What if this or that happens. Ah, the questions we ask over and over when we are feeling anxious.

You are dictating how your life will be.

Anxiety affects everyone different. Everyone discovers their personal trigger. You just so happened to chose dating.

So now your mind makes the thought of dating trigger the adrenaline dump and you get anxious and/or panic. That is how you have trained your brain to react to dating. That simple

It could have been anything else, but that is where your trigger lies. If you get past this trigger, don't worry, Anxiety will deliver another trigger for you. He likes you that way.

So instead of focusing on dating itself, time to start realizing the associations you are making. Understand that is how anxiety works. Understand that you are the one to chose to follow all the false signals Anxiety sends to you.

If you start worrying about gaining weight, remind yourself that it is your anxiety and not the true you. Thinking of death? Nope. Pass on that as well because you have anxiety.

It can actually work in your favor. Get stopped for speeding, didn't finish an assignment, punched a puppy? Hey, it was the anxiety!

Seperate how you view your thoughts and think about the advice you would give to someone else who had the same fears as you. When you are calm and rational, you would say they must be smoking crack.

Take your own advice. Do not let anxiety win the war of your mind when it comes to anything. You know when something you are concerned about is irrational so just dismiss it all together. It is your condition that is causing your reactions. Not the rational you

You are going to get through this and be all the better for it. It gets wayyyy better