Severe Health related anxiety

[lynnm]

Good morning,
Last night out of the blue I had very sharp pain in my right jaw - it was more chin and jaw related - it got worse with movement so I wasn't overly concerned but this was the issue that has really pushed me to post here.
I have so much health-related anxiety. It's been this way for many years - I'm 45 years old now, but I've always been a worrier ..
Over the years I've had so many symptoms and have had work-ups for stomach issues, heart issues, etc.
I did have a chest CT scan that came back with some spots so I have to have that rechecked in a few months - the spots were small so a year was recommended, and that is coming up soon.
This has been weighing on me greatly.
More recently I started having headaches that I get everyday - some just sharp pains intermittently all over, and then sometimes an actual headache that will last - I've never been one to get headaches before this.
A couple of months ago I broke out in hives all over that lasted for 3 days - got a workup and nothing showed up.
Re the headaches - went to the dr. and he doesn't think it's anything serious but said he would send me for an mri if I wanted to go but he doesn't think it's necessary. Also going to a chiropractor because I have a herniated disc (for years with no headaches involved) and he also doesn't think it's serious.
My dad passed away from a heart attack at the age of 49 ... I have a young child and I'm married.
This jaw issue really sent me over the edge last night and I'm just afraid after so many benign issues that I'm going to end up ignoring something that's serious.
My anxiety level is so high and I just don't know what to do. I'm constantly thinking something is wrong with me - and typically multiple things, and even as I write this - I feel like I should be able to handle this and rationalize everything and calm down - and there's a touch of embarrassment over feeling this way. So I thought I would reach out.
If anyone has any advice on how they have handled something like this, please - I'm open to any advice.
Thank you so much!

[Chauntecler]

It's definitely a good idea to get checked to make sure there are no serious issues. The thing about anxiety, is that it creates symptoms. I have heart related health anxiety and every time I have some sort of chest pain, it'll become more frequent until I calm myself down.

Best wishes, hope there isn't anything serious with your health.

[Im-Suffering]

....i'm just afraid....
that I'm going to end up ignoring something that's serious

This statement is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The catalyst (based entirely on false beliefs or faulty ideas about reality) for the consistent hunt for symptoms and disease, more and more testing. And the core belief of doctors - to look for disease, even expect it, rather than health.

What belief is behind that fear?



Good morning,
Last night out of the blue I had very sharp pain in my right jaw - it was more chin and jaw related - it got worse with movement so I wasn't overly concerned but this was the issue that has really pushed me to post here.
I have so much health-related anxiety. It's been this way for many years - I'm 45 years old now, but I've always been a worrier ..
Over the years I've had so many symptoms and have had work-ups for stomach issues, heart issues, etc.
I did have a chest CT scan that came back with some spots so I have to have that rechecked in a few months - the spots were small so a year was recommended, and that is coming up soon.
This has been weighing on me greatly.
More recently I started having headaches that I get everyday - some just sharp pains intermittently all over, and then sometimes an actual headache that will last - I've never been one to get headaches before this.
A couple of months ago I broke out in hives all over that lasted for 3 days - got a workup and nothing showed up.
Re the headaches - went to the dr. and he doesn't think it's anything serious but said he would send me for an mri if I wanted to go but he doesn't think it's necessary. Also going to a chiropractor because I have a herniated disc (for years with no headaches involved) and he also doesn't think it's serious.


My dad passed away from a heart attack at the age of 49 ... I have a young child and I'm married.
This jaw issue really sent me over the edge last night and I'm just afraid after so many benign issues that I'm going to end up ignoring something that's serious.


My anxiety level is so high and I just don't know what to do.

I'm constantly thinking something is wrong with me

- and typically multiple things, and even as I write this - I feel like I should be able to handle this and rationalize everything and calm down - and there's a touch of embarrassment over feeling this way. So I thought I would reach out.
If anyone has any advice on how they have handled something like this, please - I'm open to any advice.
Thank you so much!

The real fear is conscious. I've bolded a few sentences in the above quote for you to examine. Clues as to where to begin your work.

Before anxiety, you consistantly had pleasurable thoughts (at least a healthy mix). Now you have constant worrisome thoughts, period.

Your life is formed by your expectations, and outlook. Evident in your conscious train of thoughts.

Do you believe you will die at 49?

What do you believe? (Your ideas about life). Your expectations, outlook, what is and isn't possible, thoughts, spring from your beliefs as naturally as a breath. So there is work to do. Personal inner work and healing. I suggest that becomes your intent, with determination, rather than the acute physical focus and empty search (answers outside yourself). For your family's sake, dig in and get to it. Even amongst the troubling outer conditions, in spite of them.

Say (many times a day) "I intend to get to the bottom of this (the beliefs that are making me feel sick, worried, fearful), realizing the physical worries are a manifestation of those mental conditions, or my inner landscape. And so I will intend this and listen for further instructions, intuitively they will come to me, I must pay attention, as if by an answer to prayer. Whether I am led to books, dreams, experiences, childhood, traumas, therapists, I will take the appropriate action. I am feeling better already knowing I have made this decision"

It's ok to be happy.. You do not have to feel guilty, if you experience joy, because of what happened to dad. You can live your life (enriched, fulfilled, healthy) with your family. That is what dad wants. No guilt, only love.

[Goomba]

Anxiety is definite occurrence in your experience. You're aware of it, and you have communicated it. So, whatever benign things may be experiencing will be exasperated by anxious symptoms. You will also experience additional symptoms that are completely unrelated to your physical health, but will manifest themselves as so. This isn't speculation.

I have a thread titled 'My Hypochondria was the Best thing to ever Happen to me" that shouldn't be a page or two more deep into the forum. It may or may not help you, but it briefly shares my experiences and general thoughts about worrying about health.

You say that this is has been going on for years. Underlying emotional issues are more than likely the culprit of your continued health anxiety. I think I'm Suffering gave you an excellent place to begin your reflection.

In addition, I would recommend exploring why getting sick would be an issue in your life. Is it fear of death? Fear of finances? Fear of altering quality of life? Fear of dieing with regrets?

Only you will know.

Live today, for every tomorrow you have had was never guaranteed.

[lynnm]

To Goomba - Thanks so much for your response. I really appreciate all of the information and your insight.

[lynnm]

To Im - Suffering - Thank you so very much for this amazingly thorough response. You put so much thought into this. It is extremely helpful, and provides great advice. And your comment about making a decision and feeling better from it - I certainly always feel better once I am decisive - and this will be no different. I just had purchased a book about positive thinking and my first step is to read that - so how that goes and take it from there - but giving a lot of thought into getting to the bottom of what are causing these thoughts - I will take some time to consider that and figure it out through one or more of the methods you mention. Again, I appreciate your response immensely. Thank you.

[lynnm]

To Chauntecler - Thank you so much for your response.

[Im-Suffering]

To Im - Suffering - Thank you so very much for this amazingly thorough response. You put so much thought into this. It is extremely helpful, and provides great advice. And your comment about making a decision and feeling better from it - I certainly always feel better once I am decisive - and this will be no different. I just had purchased a book about positive thinking and my first step is to read that - so how that goes and take it from there - but giving a lot of thought into getting to the bottom of what are causing these thoughts - I will take some time to consider that and figure it out through one or more of the methods you mention. Again, I appreciate your response immensely. Thank you.

Keep up the great work toward healing, peace, love Lynn. Everything will be alright.

At night, or in the morning, when things are quiet, journal your feelings, really feel them (even if scary or 'weird') - put it to paper, and then read what you have wrote back for true insights into your beliefs. Perhaps start with questioning, "why am I feeling this". Do this as you read your new book, gain new insights, or epiphanies because the decision to heal will 'automatically' attract the necessary information to accomplish the task, and if you wish you could also post here, for support and even some guidance.

The decision, and intent, with some determination, steadfast, will shake the universe (which is like a giant Xerox machine), into duplicating the desire into its physical equivalent. "I am healthy, wealthy and wise' and, "each day is better than the last" are very good beliefs to have.

Did you ever see something and say "yes, I'll have that, that's so cool" and you just stood and looked at it, admired it, pictured in your imagination that it was yours, read more about it, thought much about it, and a few weeks, or months later found yourself in possession of it?

Now the only thing that could delay fulfillment is conflicting beliefs. "I desire this, but I dont deserve it". "I love this, but I can't afford it", "I desire health, but I'm so sick", "I want to feel better, but things always get worse first." You can see, the faith of a mustard seed can move mountains, as long as there are no strong conflicting beliefs in the same mental space.

When you notice a conflict "I don't deserve this" for example. That's where you must dig, see? That's the spot. The clue is the bad feelings accompanying the negative belief, with a thought attached that feels terrible, or doesn't represent who you are. You feel the conflict.

Ultimately, you deserve everything. Anything short of that is a taught (conditioned), limiting belief. If you can imagine it, or have the desire for it, you can have it. Whatever it is, test results, health, peace, love, money, job, relationships, goals.. Healing.

[lynnm]

Im- Suffering - thanks again so much for your added insight. It's interesting to delve into the "why" - I've never felt that I don't deserve happiness or are undeserving - so I don't think that is it - but as you say there must be a reason why I can't just brush off a concern about my health like many people can and I typically think the worst- "worry" is something that i've always had from a young age. But I MUST break that cycle - I'm so tired of it! AND I don't want to dwell on the "what ifs" for me, anymore - and even as I write this I feel the headache on the left side of my head starting. But I will think good thoughts, it will pass and I will get to reading!! On a side note, I should mention, in almost every other area of life I am very positive and optimistic. While this is something silly, I joke around how my "positive thinking" will always get me a good parking spot, and it does! For most things in life I feel everything will work out, even when things seem to not be going well - and I truly believe it. It's the health issue that I can't seem to get past - the health - anxiety. Thank you again for "listening"

[Im-Suffering]

Im- Suffering - thanks again so much for your added insight. It's interesting to delve into the "why" - I've never felt that I don't deserve happiness or are undeserving - so I don't think that is it - but as you say there must be a reason why I can't just brush off a concern about my health like many people can and I typically think the worst- "worry" is something that i've always had from a young age - although not health related when I was young - I can tell you that I used to be scared I would lose my parents - when I was a child - and sadly that came true at a young age with both my father (I was 19) and my mother (when I was 15). Obviously that has had a huge impact on my life. And so seeing bad things happen has been a big part of my life, and possibly that's the reason - although I worried before that. But I MUST break that cycle - I'm so tired of it! AND I don't want to dwell on the "what ifs" for me, anymore - and even as I write this I feel the headache on the left side of my head starting. But I will think good thoughts, it will pass and I will get to reading!! On a side note, I should mention, in almost every other area of life I am very positive and optimistic. While this is something silly, I joke around how my "positive thinking" will always get me a good parking spot, and it does! For most things in life I feel everything will work out, even when things seem to not be going well - and I truly believe it. It's the health issue that I can't seem to get past - the health - anxiety. Thank you again for "listening"

We all come in to life with a challenge, there is coding in your genes. Your life is the center stage, you choose the props, the set, and the players. There are reoccurring life themes, if you will, the screenplay. Now, your parents gave you a gift, you see. They are more than the flesh you knew, and they did what they did out of love (life and death), partly to help you grow past these old fears by triggering events and experiences meant to drive you inward for answers. They were the actors in the play, the supporting roles. They are the lead in their own experience, which carries on. The audience changes, each night giving the appearance of a new play (life).

You have always felt this tinge of fear, in different degrees depending on the stage of life, the time period. This worrying or (personality) characteristic was brought in with you, it sets the overall life-tone, so to speak ( coloring in your experience). It is a 'theme' to be recognized and overcome with that of a 'bright' future, and a different outlook. Once this is accomplished the 3 of you can reincarnate and live a full life (without the current thinking patterns) if the desire is there.Your parents also had the same challenge, you shared common ground. But you are to persevere, you see, you can be the hero that lives joyfully, fulfilled, and in good health, and overcomes the obstacles. Your success will be felt by them. Know they are now your cheerleaders.

Only the greatest love, can give the greatest gifts, and so, you will see them again. They might not be who you think they are, but I assure you are old friends.

The gift was not to become more despondent, but to see the value in health, in life, in joy, to see clearly and not through a distorted lens. That is what I am teaching you today. I am an old friend too.

Now, healing begins with validation. Not being afraid to look at the pain, the hurts, the feelings of loss. Validate your emotions, express them, and move forward.

Love is the answer. You have a family of your own, and so love is all around you. You are learning to use your imagination constructively, that what you fervently picture or hold in your mind, you create. You are meant to correlate your thinking with what you experience, making the necessary adjustments toward joy, not despair. You want your family to associate life with health and longevity, you see.

Lighten your body, enlighten it, and drop the burdens, by expressing love, joy, in the time that you have, the moments - in so doing you will shine like the sun - this is what you are to learn.

Dis-ease, worry and doubt, indecision, take footing in a darkened, depressed psyche, it cannot grow or multiply in the light.

Your parents are learning too, now, moving ever so close to their own light, and so this is your path also, in the body or out of it.