Thor Hakkuh Hald
03-09-2015, 08:32 PM
So My name is Thor (yes like the god) And i just registered on this forum.
It seems like this might be a good place to be completely open about my anxiety, and also get to talk to other people who struggle with the same things that i do.
I Might as well just do it right now.
It all started at elementary school, i was that one kid who never had any friends you know, just sitting in a dark corner hiding myself, and whenever someone actually did talk to me it was either to make fun of me, or to hurt me physically.
This continued until college, finally people started to grow up and treat each other with respect.
but for me, it was too late.
My self esteem was down the drain, and so was the rest of me.
I was affraid of getting friends because i knew what happened the last time i tried, which was at elementary school.
But against all odds i met someone, a girl. We eventually got into a relationship, and that was the first time i felt someone cared for me.
But all things must come to an end. and since that time, i have been chasing that feeling.
you have no idea how many relationships ive been in. To be perfectly honest, iīve lost count.
Its all about chasing that feeling of being loved, that you have someone who cares for you.
so this will never stop i guess.
Now I've isolated myself. Only thing i do is to watch tv, listen to music, produce music.
I never go outside anymore.
Whenever i need to take the subway, i struggle like hell.
i feel all those eyes just starting at me, i KNOW they are not staring, but it feels like iīm in the center of attention, and i dont like that.
I am always afraid that i stick out like a sore thumb, that all they see is that isolated kid who really stands out from the crowd because he is a total wreck.
And yeah.. there is a lot to be covered here, but to make it short: I hate being in public now.
I always fear the worst because Thatīs what my mind has gotten used to.
So this might seem strange to a lot of people, but just trying to be completely open here.
I never talked about this before, it feels somewhat good to finally let it all out.
My goal in this forum: hopefully to get some tips from other people who struggle wit the same as i do.
A place where i am able to be completely open without having to leave my "comfortable-zone"
That was it everyone, and Thank you for letting me join the forum.
Thor.
It seems like this might be a good place to be completely open about my anxiety, and also get to talk to other people who struggle with the same things that i do.
I Might as well just do it right now.
It all started at elementary school, i was that one kid who never had any friends you know, just sitting in a dark corner hiding myself, and whenever someone actually did talk to me it was either to make fun of me, or to hurt me physically.
This continued until college, finally people started to grow up and treat each other with respect.
but for me, it was too late.
My self esteem was down the drain, and so was the rest of me.
I was affraid of getting friends because i knew what happened the last time i tried, which was at elementary school.
But against all odds i met someone, a girl. We eventually got into a relationship, and that was the first time i felt someone cared for me.
But all things must come to an end. and since that time, i have been chasing that feeling.
you have no idea how many relationships ive been in. To be perfectly honest, iīve lost count.
Its all about chasing that feeling of being loved, that you have someone who cares for you.
so this will never stop i guess.
Now I've isolated myself. Only thing i do is to watch tv, listen to music, produce music.
I never go outside anymore.
Whenever i need to take the subway, i struggle like hell.
i feel all those eyes just starting at me, i KNOW they are not staring, but it feels like iīm in the center of attention, and i dont like that.
I am always afraid that i stick out like a sore thumb, that all they see is that isolated kid who really stands out from the crowd because he is a total wreck.
And yeah.. there is a lot to be covered here, but to make it short: I hate being in public now.
I always fear the worst because Thatīs what my mind has gotten used to.
So this might seem strange to a lot of people, but just trying to be completely open here.
I never talked about this before, it feels somewhat good to finally let it all out.
My goal in this forum: hopefully to get some tips from other people who struggle wit the same as i do.
A place where i am able to be completely open without having to leave my "comfortable-zone"
That was it everyone, and Thank you for letting me join the forum.
Thor.