willheal
03-07-2015, 03:23 PM
I went to the psychiatrist & had to be taken off one medication and be put on another. Xanax -> Ativan
I was just having too many adverse reactions to the Xanax and it was making my sleep all wonky.
Anyway, he's always insisted that I have OCD because I focus on a lot of specific things when I talk to him in his office. I do have obsessive behaviors, but we had a breakthrough and discovered the bigger issue at hand may be my nervous system is running perhaps way too fast. I'm too stimulated, and it's all coming in at too high of a threshold; ultimately I have no way of sorting through what is essentially noise or junk. (I already had my thyroid test done, btw.)
So my nervous system is inexplicably overdriven, and while that did have benefits when I'm focused on learning or exploring new ideas, it eventually degenerates into destructive noise. My psych and I both agreed on that point, finally. After 10 years of getting treatment I finally found someone who'll give me an inch.
My only question is: How could someone's mind be operating at such an unsustainable rate without some other obvious defect? We have found nothing so I'm just going to say "I was just born wired like this."
I guess this is mostly positive. My rate is down to 95 (from 140) since writing this post and I'm gonna take a few mental health days with the ativan until I'm past my xanax withdrawal and then hopefully a lower dosage of ativan will be down enough to make me functional again.
I'm on beta blockers because recently the heart rate thing sent me to the hospital--the cardiologist told me the same thing. There's nothing physiologically causing this, aside from possibly overstimulated nerves. The beta blockers help reduce the effect of an adrenal response, but by themselves they are no match for my own mind screwing everything up.
Well, cheers and peace.
I was just having too many adverse reactions to the Xanax and it was making my sleep all wonky.
Anyway, he's always insisted that I have OCD because I focus on a lot of specific things when I talk to him in his office. I do have obsessive behaviors, but we had a breakthrough and discovered the bigger issue at hand may be my nervous system is running perhaps way too fast. I'm too stimulated, and it's all coming in at too high of a threshold; ultimately I have no way of sorting through what is essentially noise or junk. (I already had my thyroid test done, btw.)
So my nervous system is inexplicably overdriven, and while that did have benefits when I'm focused on learning or exploring new ideas, it eventually degenerates into destructive noise. My psych and I both agreed on that point, finally. After 10 years of getting treatment I finally found someone who'll give me an inch.
My only question is: How could someone's mind be operating at such an unsustainable rate without some other obvious defect? We have found nothing so I'm just going to say "I was just born wired like this."
I guess this is mostly positive. My rate is down to 95 (from 140) since writing this post and I'm gonna take a few mental health days with the ativan until I'm past my xanax withdrawal and then hopefully a lower dosage of ativan will be down enough to make me functional again.
I'm on beta blockers because recently the heart rate thing sent me to the hospital--the cardiologist told me the same thing. There's nothing physiologically causing this, aside from possibly overstimulated nerves. The beta blockers help reduce the effect of an adrenal response, but by themselves they are no match for my own mind screwing everything up.
Well, cheers and peace.