What pills to take to reduce anxiety and have conversations with new people?

[ALX]

I live in a new city and I would like to meet new people but I'm very withdrawn and don't talk much, not even if someone else is trying to chat me up.
I suspect I have social-anxiety as I find myself in many of the symptoms.
I don't hope for a cure. But I would like to take a pill that would give me a temporal relief and allow me to "break the ice" and become able to connect/converse with new people, in the hope that I will eventually find people that I click with and thus make new friends.

What happens to me is that I get "in my head" and become worried about what should I do/say or if my face is tensed up and I come across as creepy , etc...

Alcohol for example reduces the anxiety a lot, but I don't want to get myself drunk. I would like a pill that would lower my anxiety even for an hour. Bcz the beginning is always when my anxiety has a peak.

[Ponder]

I rest my case.

[gypsylee]

Benzodiazepines, MDMA, methamphetamine, oxycodone.. Those should get you started ;)

[Ponder]

Do yourself a favor and make sure you get them from Bali!

Have a good Trip ;)

[ALX]

gypsylee , have you tried mdma? how did it work on you?

[gypsylee]

gypsylee , have you tried mdma? how did it work on you?

Actually no, because I've been on SSRIs most of my adult life and MDMA mixed with those can cause serotonin syndrome. Also, pure MDMA is hard to come by and it's hard to know what you're getting. Most of it is cut with speed or acid or something, which is not a good idea for people with anxiety.

I was joking with those btw (apart from benzos) :)

[casstar01]

Benzos for SURE. It does sound like you have social anxiety. I was and still can be just like you described and I tried every med under the sun for it ( including illegal drugs which did help but became a whole new problem that you DONT want!!) and nothing ever worked until I was given clonopin. I have heard many anxiety people say they preferred Xanax but I like clonopin. Casstar

[Ponder]

I understand the practical use of such meds, but listening to the way you guys speak and titles given to reason your medicating ... you guys sound nothing more, than full on junkies.

Then it becomes a case of blaming the meds, and or what someone else said.

[justine74]

medications are not the way to resolve your problem...have you tried any psychotherapy? You being so withdrawn might have some roots in the past (some bad experience from childhood) that you probably don't remember. Hypnotherapy works pretty well in such cases..

[Goomba]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (ponder)

Bluntly put, but accurate.

Without tests to determine an unnatural and chronic chemical imbalance, anxiety meds are like taking Tylenol for a headache, but then smacking your head against the wall, and wondering why you have a headache again.

In other words, it will temporarily make you more docile to you anxiety, but without taking responsibility for your thought processes that create your social anxiety and make you go inside your head, your anxiety will always, always, always resurface.

There is cure, and it's lies within confronting yourself.

[JustaGal]

I live in a new city and I would like to meet new people but I'm very withdrawn and don't talk much, not even if someone else is trying to chat me up.
I suspect I have social-anxiety as I find myself in many of the symptoms.
I don't hope for a cure. But I would like to take a pill that would give me a temporal relief and allow me to "break the ice" and become able to connect/converse with new people, in the hope that I will eventually find people that I click with and thus make new friends.

What happens to me is that I get "in my head" and become worried about what should I do/say or if my face is tensed up and I come across as creepy , etc...

Alcohol for example reduces the anxiety a lot, but I don't want to get myself drunk. I would like a pill that would lower my anxiety even for an hour. Bcz the beginning is always when my anxiety has a peak.

Another option is to practice in a public speaking group like Toast Masters. You can take a benzo as needed, but there are clubs to develop public speaking skills that have a good rate of people overcoming fears. Practice is essential....

http://www.toastmasters.org/

[Ponder]

Whilst it was not for me, and despite my excuses and judgmental nature ... the effort I made in giving Toast Masters a go, did in fact help me a lot. For the most part, the people were actually very welcoming as well as understanding. Perhaps not everyone - but it really does help to at least give things like that a try.

Inspired by the responses here, I go write about my efforts in a more positive way. In the mean time - Goomba hits the nail on the head for me. You need to seek help outside this forum with respect to validate the need for medication or not. Some people it helps, others it can do the complete opposite. I remain some what Bias - bit I do my best to respect my friends who know what's best for them. I still remain open to the use of meds - but not whimsically, as is often the case ... many of us see going on in here.

[casstar01]

I understand the practical use of such meds, but listening to the way you guys speak and titles given to reason your medicating ... you guys sound nothing more, than full on junkies. Then it becomes a case of blaming the meds, and or what someone else said. I know you think your so much smarter and more intellectual than the rest of us but you have NO idea where any of us are coming from when we give our opinion which WAS ASKED for!!! Some people DO actually suffer enough to genuinly need these meds. And FYI 70% according to the New England journal of medicin with diagnosed or yet to be diagnosed with mental illness have at one time self medicated in order to cope. And while that is not the way to go it was bad enough that they were willing to do anything for some relief. maybe I was a bit unclear on my reply. I personally have found medication extreamly helpful!! I use it in combination with DEEP and intense therapy, changing thought patterns etc... But I take great offence at being called a junkie. It's unclear to me why you seem to feel so much better then many of us. I understand that a great many if people do not need meds to help overcome their anxiety, but me and many others do. It's not just medicine it must be used with therapy or it's just not going to do anything long term. I gave my advice on what has helped me. I DO have a chemical imbalance and have suffered severe anxiety since my first memory. Unable to speak, look up or do anything!!! I was literally frozen inside myself. I had no one who gave a shit and to take me to get help so it got worse. When I turned 13 my mother abandoned me at a texaco station in the next town and I was unable to function!! Therefore any one that came along and told me to come with them I did because I was unable literally to say no! I was led to drugs which gave me a sense of freedom because with them I could speak and function so I became hooked on them and thought it was my only way to live other than killing myself that was my only option and no one cared to try to help me. In my 20's by the grace if god I got clean and suffered greatly because I couldn't function or speak etc... I sought therapy emediatly! But nothing changed. I was given every med under the sun and told it would help it never did. Clonopin was finally given to me and it's a very small dose but it allowed me to speak, function and therefore get the correct amount if help to learn to deal with and overcome as much as is possible my social phobia etc.... I know what it's like to truly suffer with this and so when one asks what has helped them I WILL tell them because I wish someone had told me. I would have saved years of my life and a hell of a lot of suffering pain trauma and terrible things that haunt me daily!! Not sure that that is "good enough" for you but it is for me!! How dare you allude to the fact that I'm just a junkie talking like a junkie!! We all aren't able to be perfect we are just trying to help others who suffer and I use titles like social anxiety etc.. Because it's the easiest way to say what your suffering with because if you have it you know what it's like. It saves time rather than going into extream detail of every single feeling, fear, sadness every time your referring to it!

[JustaGal]

I know you think your so much smarter and more intellectual than the rest of us but you have NO idea where any of us are coming from when we give our opinion which WAS ASKED for!!! Some people DO actually suffer enough to genuinly need these meds. And FYI 70% according to the New England journal of medicin with diagnosed or yet to be diagnosed with mental illness have at one time self medicated in order to cope. And while that is not the way to go it was bad enough that they were willing to do anything for some relief. maybe I was a bit unclear on my reply. I personally have found medication extreamly helpful!! I use it in combination with DEEP and intense therapy, changing thought patterns etc... But I take great offence at being called a junkie. It's unclear to me why you seem to feel so much better then many of us. I understand that a great many if people do not need meds to help overcome their anxiety, but me and many others do. It's not just medicine it must be used with therapy or it's just not going to do anything long term. I gave my advice on what has helped me. I DO have a chemical imbalance and have suffered severe anxiety since my first memory. Unable to speak, look up or do anything!!! I was literally frozen inside myself. I had no one who gave a shit and to take me to get help so it got worse. When I turned 13 my mother abandoned me at a texaco station in the next town and I was unable to function!! Therefore any one that came along and told me to come with them I did because I was unable literally to say no! I was led to drugs which gave me a sense of freedom because with them I could speak and function so I became hooked on them and thought it was my only way to live other than killing myself that was my only option and no one cared to try to help me. In my 20's by the grace if god I got clean and suffered greatly because I couldn't function or speak etc... I sought therapy emediatly! But nothing changed. I was given every med under the sun and told it would help it never did. Clonopin was finally given to me and it's a very small dose but it allowed me to speak, function and therefore get the correct amount if help to learn to deal with and overcome as much as is possible my social phobia etc.... I know what it's like to truly suffer with this and so when one asks what has helped them I WILL tell them because I wish someone had told me. I would have saved years of my life and a hell of a lot of suffering pain trauma and terrible things that haunt me daily!! Not sure that that is "good enough" for you but it is for me!! How dare you allude to the fact that I'm just a junkie talking like a junkie!! We all aren't able to be perfect we are just trying to help others who suffer and I use titles like social anxiety etc.. Because it's the easiest way to say what your suffering with because if you have it you know what it's like. It saves time rather than going into extream detail of every single feeling, fear, sadness every time your referring to it!

hehe...I like you

[Ponder]

My reasons for speaking out like so, have nothing to do with being better than anyone else. More so looking to push out something of more substance as opposed to the flimsy nature and dangers of such shallow threads regarding medications. If only people sort to put in as much effort without being triggered.

Regardless of who is wrong and right - That was indeed, a much better response. TY & YW.

[gypsylee]

I've been down the "junkie" path with benzos and pain meds (and alcohol) so I won't judge anyone. Back in the early 90s when I was diagnosed with Major Depression there wasn't a whole lot of support like this, just doctors keen to prescribe. Also, sometimes anxiety is that full-on you'll do anything to make it go away..

[gypsylee]

Oh and anyone thinking about taking Xanax - check out a thread in Medication about the withdrawals. This is one benzo I would stay well away from (unless you can take it VERY sparingly). Nasty withdrawals.

(It's the one called "Has anyone had such a profound effect from stopping alprazolam" or something. It doesn't actually say Xanax in the title :) )

[Dahila]

Casttar you are not alone, I was fighting for over 20 years on and off the meds. It was tough and now my children pay the price , due my reluctance to take meds. The awful anxiety, they got with shaking and always worrying mom. They never agreed with me. I was looking at different alternatives like meditation, and herbs. Still it was difficult, finally a few years ago, having a very difficult personal situation I become of "junkie" I am on Klonopin once a day and on gabapentin. There comes the time when we have no choice but to reach and take the meds. Ponder is trying to stay off due his intolerance to meds, he tried all.
What is worrying when the very young ones ask for the meds, without trying the other options.
If it was not for the meds I would be dead, I am talking about depression taking over and pushing to the sad end. My grandchild is 9 already so I am a veteran of anxiety wars :))
Gypsylee withdrawals are sometime tough , especially when we are scared of them. I hear people talking about dependency on Klonopin. I would rather be depended on it and alive than the other way around.
Btw we should not give any medical advice here. Toast master is an excellent option. We can share our expierences about meds but not advice , please :))

[JustaGal]

"What is worrying when the very young ones ask for the meds, without trying the other options. " Right, and then drink and abuse the meds. Not good!

[Ponder]

My 1st Son's Mother started him on Dex at age FOUR! - Was not even in school. It was a time where ADHD was all the rage - By the time he hit school, counclers were in on the fad recommending thousands of kids be medicated to curve their said inappropriate behavior. My son used to pass his pills around and is now a fully blown drug addict.

I never gave him the pills - I won custody and did what I could ... he was quite the sporting hero and did pretty well at everything he did (sounds familiar - redirection and strength based parenting -> "Was Given Attention") - but the denigration that led him back to his mums, saw him later Crushing the tabs, spoon them followed with hitting up. Such is the play ground, chemistry and implementation has created today.

Yet explains a little more why I detest such wonder drugs.

He is a master of excuses, like many in here - doctor hops and knows all the pills - Now he sufferers similar like me, with the a massive chemical imbalance - not just in the head ... but the ultra sensitivity to chemical drugs means most don't work as prescribed. Yet another story - Between Myself, My Brother and My oldest Son ... "systemic" yadda yadda yadda ...

Is not so hard to write about - but clearly is too much text for those that just want to pop.

[justine74]

well said Goomba! Confronting yourself and your demons is the only way..

[casstar01]

Well ponder, I do agree in that I deeply crave and wish to see much deeper posts at times and substance in them. And while I can see how that line of posts can be seen as dangerous I in no way wanted to give dangerous advise. I very much want to help others and when I see something I can try to help with I get excited to respond weather it's "deep" or not I connect with what I see as the pain and fear behind it. My intention was good however on that one your right I should have gone more into what else must be included aside from a medicine. I appreciate the polite response. I don't often get quite so upset but I've been trained in life to never speak up or defend myself and while I have not perfected it, it was a start. :)

[casstar01]

hehe...I like you Aaawwww... Thanks justagal! :)

[Ponder]

I've been struggling within another group over medication. I acknowledge the need to be more mindful in my views. I really apreciate the way you express how others can hold us back.

TY ... I hope you find something that helps.

[Aleasha]

This is something you are going to have to talk to a doctor about. Before I was on the medication I am on now (still being adjusted), I literally could not talk to people or even answer a telephone or make a phone call! However, my medication is for my SEVERE panic attacks. But, it has helped with my social phobias.

[JustaGal]

Aaawwww... Thanks justagal! :)

Have a great week!