PDA

View Full Version : I can never forgive myself!



Little-mocho
03-05-2015, 04:22 AM
Hi all,

I don't know how to start, I'm 26.. I was supposed to be a doctor - but now I'm not-
I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder... That I now know I almost had it most of my life undiagnosed...

I quit medical field -thus struggling a bit with money issues but I'm still alive- due to anxiety issues too....

I have been in and off Prozac, I self- stopped the drug months ago but my doctor want me on again

Any way... I live in a subrub like most of my life... Having to go on a highway for 40 minutes to go downtown where my school was.. And then the little jobs I'm trying to manage...

I was struggling hard was driving since the age of getting a liscence!
I was terrified
I had panic attacks just sitting on the drivers seat

I couldn't do it...


Then in order to earn a living I had to.. It was not an option anymore!

I just got my liscence and started driving 3 months ago...

I have pumped the car many times -mostly in u turns- and my little brother says it's OK.. You are still a biggener and we all do mistakes and so...

But yesterday, I was taking a U turn in a cross road, and after I passed and I thought everything was fine I found a car chasing me!

Then the angry woman stopped me the next red lights and stepped of the car starting to curse saying that I could almost have her killed !!

I have no idea what she was talking about... Really... Not a clue...

I don't know where she even was.. I don't know if she was taking the u turn after me or she was on the cross roads or she was the opposite direction... I have no clue!

And that what panics me the most... I could have killed somebody not even knownling I am doing a driving mistake...!

I still kill somebody not even realizing it...!

I am so terrified!

I had a panic attack last night and could not sleep

I am crying since then

I strongly want to quit driving.. But how else can I manage my life again...

The thing is I thing what comes around goes around... I am deeply afraid as I am be causing deadly accidents that it would happen to me...

Or what if a serious thing really happened on the road next time...

I am very anxious and terriffed ... I have not go out today...

I contacted my doctor and she keeps saying I need to get on Prozac... Well, I think what I need the most us reassurance and support.. I really need your help here..

Help

gypsylee
03-05-2015, 05:23 AM
Hi all,

I don't know how to start, I'm 26.. I was supposed to be a doctor - but now I'm not-
I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder... That I now know I almost had it most of my life undiagnosed...

I quit medical field -thus struggling a bit with money issues but I'm still alive- due to anxiety issues too....

I have been in and off Prozac, I self- stopped the drug months ago but my doctor want me on again

Any way... I live in a subrub like most of my life... Having to go on a highway for 40 minutes to go downtown where my school was.. And then the little jobs I'm trying to manage...

I was struggling hard was driving since the age of getting a liscence!
I was terrified
I had panic attacks just sitting on the drivers seat

I couldn't do it...

Then in order to earn a living I had to.. It was not an option anymore!

I just got my liscence and started driving 3 months ago...

I have pumped the car many times -mostly in u turns- and my little brother says it's OK.. You are still a biggener and we all do mistakes and so...

But yesterday, I was taking a U turn in a cross road, and after I passed and I thought everything was fine I found a car chasing me!

Then the angry woman stopped me the next red lights and stepped of the car starting to curse saying that I could almost have her killed !!

I have no idea what she was talking about... Really... Not a clue...

I don't know where she even was.. I don't know if she was taking the u turn after me or she was on the cross roads or she was the opposite direction... I have no clue!

And that what panics me the most... I could have killed somebody not even knownling I am doing a driving mistake...!

I still kill somebody not even realizing it...!

I am so terrified!

I had a panic attack last night and could not sleep

I am crying since then

I strongly want to quit driving.. But how else can I manage my life again...

The thing is I thing what comes around goes around... I am deeply afraid as I am be causing deadly accidents that it would happen to me...

Or what if a serious thing really happened on the road next time...

I am very anxious and terriffed ... I have not go out today...

I contacted my doctor and she keeps saying I need to get on Prozac... Well, I think what I need the most us reassurance and support.. I really need your help here..

Help

Hi Little-mocho :)

Well the thing is, this sort of thing happens a lot when driving. That woman might have just been having a bad day and overreacted to something you did. I've had people scream at me for small things in the last couple of years and I've been driving for nearly 20 years.

You just need to keep going and building your confidence and skills. Maybe you could take some easy routes for a while until you feel less anxious? I used to get very nervous too so I understand. I used to think about using Learner plates even when I had my licence so people would forgive me for mistakes! I never caused an accident though.

Go easy on yourself and remember people yell at each other in traffic all the time :)

Bye now,
Gypsy x

Little-mocho
03-05-2015, 05:38 AM
Hi Little-mocho :)

Well the thing is, this sort of thing happens a lot when driving. That woman might have just been having a bad day and overreacted to something you did. I've had people scream at me for small things in the last couple of years and I've been driving for nearly 20 years.

You just need to keep going and building your confidence and skills. Maybe you could take some easy routes for a while until you feel less anxious? I used to get very nervous too so I understand. I used to think about using Learner plates even when I had my licence so people would forgive me for mistakes! I never caused an accident though.

Go easy on yourself and remember people yell at each other in traffic all the time :)

Bye now,
Gypsy x


Thanks a lot..!

I really need to hear this words... I need people to comfort me in similar situations but when people around you don't understand anxiety they just think you are making big deals out of things...

Your words are so helpful to me.. I can't thank you enough...

gypsylee
03-05-2015, 06:12 AM
You're welcome :D

Kixxi
03-05-2015, 03:07 PM
Hi all,

I don't know how to start, I'm 26.. I was supposed to be a doctor - but now I'm not-
I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder... That I now know I almost had it most of my life undiagnosed...

I quit medical field -thus struggling a bit with money issues but I'm still alive- due to anxiety issues too....

I have been in and off Prozac, I self- stopped the drug months ago but my doctor want me on again

Any way... I live in a subrub like most of my life... Having to go on a highway for 40 minutes to go downtown where my school was.. And then the little jobs I'm trying to manage...

I was struggling hard was driving since the age of getting a liscence!
I was terrified
I had panic attacks just sitting on the drivers seat

I couldn't do it...


Then in order to earn a living I had to.. It was not an option anymore!

I just got my liscence and started driving 3 months ago...

I have pumped the car many times -mostly in u turns- and my little brother says it's OK.. You are still a biggener and we all do mistakes and so...

But yesterday, I was taking a U turn in a cross road, and after I passed and I thought everything was fine I found a car chasing me!

Then the angry woman stopped me the next red lights and stepped of the car starting to curse saying that I could almost have her killed !!

I have no idea what she was talking about... Really... Not a clue...

I don't know where she even was.. I don't know if she was taking the u turn after me or she was on the cross roads or she was the opposite direction... I have no clue!

And that what panics me the most... I could have killed somebody not even knownling I am doing a driving mistake...!

I still kill somebody not even realizing it...!

I am so terrified!

I had a panic attack last night and could not sleep

I am crying since then

I strongly want to quit driving.. But how else can I manage my life again...

The thing is I thing what comes around goes around... I am deeply afraid as I am be causing deadly accidents that it would happen to me...

Or what if a serious thing really happened on the road next time...

I am very anxious and terriffed ... I have not go out today...

I contacted my doctor and she keeps saying I need to get on Prozac... Well, I think what I need the most us reassurance and support.. I really need your help here..

Help

Unfortunately there are people out there who have bad days and who overreact. There are selfish people out there and unfortunately, we are more sensitive to what people think about our actions. People who chase you to scream at you, well, I assume the woman has severe problems of her own. It is not really a normal thing to do, but by chasing you she endangered other road users. And then getting out in front of the red light to curse at you? You have to admit that this sounds a bit crazy on her end! Sometimes it is better to say, whatever, and let them waste their energy on cursing and screaming. You put your energy in looking after you and stop caring what these selfish people think.

gypsylee
03-05-2015, 06:54 PM
Unfortunately there are people out there who have bad days and who overreact. There are selfish people out there and unfortunately, we are more sensitive to what people think about our actions. People who chase you to scream at you, well, I assume the woman has severe problems of her own. It is not really a normal thing to do, but by chasing you she endangered other road users. And then getting out in front of the red light to curse at you? You have to admit that this sounds a bit crazy on her end! Sometimes it is better to say, whatever, and let them waste their energy on cursing and screaming. You put your energy in looking after you and stop caring what these selfish people think.

That's true. I didn't realise she actually got out of her car!

I still get quite upset when I do something a little wrong and someone yells at me but that's people for you. Last year I went round a corner a bit too fast and there was a man walking his dogs.. I slammed the brakes on so no damage done but he screamed at me as if I'd hit the dogs or something! It took me a while to calm down after that but yes people do take their bad moods out on you when you're driving.

You'll be fine once you build up some confidence. I bet you're less of a danger than overconfident drivers :)

NixonRulz
03-05-2015, 06:58 PM
That's true. I didn't realise she actually got out of her car!

I still get quite upset when I do something a little wrong and someone yells at me but that's people for you. Last year I went round a corner a bit too fast and there was a man walking his dogs.. I slammed the brakes on so no damage done but he screamed at me as if I'd hit the dogs or something! It took me a while to calm down after that but yes people do take their bad moods out on you when you're driving.

You'll be fine once you build up some confidence. I bet you're less of a danger than overconfident drivers :)

You should have spared the dogs. Drove around the block and drove over the jackass holding the leash

gypsylee
03-05-2015, 08:13 PM
You should have spared the dogs. Drove around the block and drove over the jackass holding the leash

Well see I was taking the corner fast because it was a right hand turn (reverse that for USA!) and I couldn't see what was coming straight through the intersection. That guy just stepped out (he did have right of way but he should've looked) and I had to brake suddenly. Then he had a fit at me. So it was one of those situations where technically I was in the wrong but with common sense on his part it wouldn't have happened. His dogs would've copped it before him unfortunately.

NixonRulz
03-05-2015, 08:40 PM
Technically, if you drove over him, no one would know who rally was at fault. Just sayin

gypsylee
03-05-2015, 09:17 PM
Technically, if you drove over him, no one would know who rally was at fault. Just sayin

LOL. I like the way you think.