This is so hard!

[Breakwood]

Hi all,

My girlfriend is the one with anxiety and I'm trying to help her through it....


Yesterday was a major setback again! This is getting harder and harder.


We were doing fine since her last blow-up last Thursday. We had a trip planned last weekend that I didn't cancel even though last Thursday had been a nightmare. I figured that we needed a good weekend to build upon.
So with all my might, I invoked the Law Of Attraction to its fullest and forged ahead with our trip while being super-positive, and loving. Guess what? we had an awesome weekend of togetherness and love. I really thought we were making strides. Then on Monday, same thing. Super-Positive, loving, and supportive. Been talking to her a lot about the Law Of Attraction and Positive Thinking. Got her into doing the exercise of listing the things we are thankful for every morning and every night.
She's really getting into it and making an effort. She really wants to turn her life around.

Yesterday morning, she was late. A major source of her anxiety. So I offered to drive her directly into work, even though I was gonna be late myself. She was tense in the car, i put on some of her favorite soft music, I help her hand, told her how much I loved her, talked about our wonderful weekend. Then we hit a traffic jam because of a pile-up on the highway. She began getting upset and really tense. I kept telling her, just phone into work, the whole city is late this morning. Finally we made it in, she was 1/2 hour late.

I went to work. I sent her a little text: Smile! I love you! you're beautiful when you smile!

She thanked me, we went back and forth with some little texts. I thought I was out of the woods.

Around lunch she emails me a little irked that we left in a rush that morning and forgot her lunch. She was short and a little rude with me. I tried to be positive and loving.

Then it slowly began escalating into: you don't seem like you love me as much - you don't care about me - you don't see yourself with me in the future.......

Last night, by the time she got home, it began getting really personal and hurtful and mean. I lost my cool. Got really angry. Basically told her it was over, as I have done many times before...

Why can't we get out of this vicious circle. I've tried so hard. I'm so exasperated and exhausted....

[Im-Suffering]

Glad to see you returning this morning Breakwood, you had better prepare yourself and open your mind before reading on. This will be a difficult message to hear.

Now -

Lets get real, for lack of a better term, although the term in this case is wholly accurate :

(typographical emphasis on purpose throughout this post).

All readers can benefit from the following relationship example (because relationships are your greatest learning tool) :




Last night, by the time she got home, it began getting really personal and hurtful and mean. I lost my cool. Got really angry. Basically told her it was over, as I have done many times before...

Why can't we get out of this vicious circle. I've tried so hard. I'm so exasperated and exhausted....



The 'law of attraction' my dear friend, means you get what you want, and what you don't, by your 'vibratory tone', NOT words. Your beliefs activate this tone, and so that is what you create. You believe now, underneath the earnest effort, that this is hard. That she will act up again (even that this whole relationship - in fear - NOT LOVE - wont end well), and so that weekend trip, those smiles, contradict with your vibration.

The TRUE vibration surfaces in the heat of the moment, as you continually threaten to leave, which in itself is HER TRIGGER AND BELIEF. And so, you cant be trusted, your smiles and cute sayings and comforting VOICE are full of empty words, period. TRUST, and acceptance, and patience, and true love must be practiced, not by roses and lovely weekends, but by inner work, YOURS.

Your belief (VIBRATION) "This wont last, its too hard, my efforts will be in vain", Your ACTION "This is great and rosy, everything is just wonderful, see?" (you made it through 10 minutes without anger, congratulations ! That is the undertone).

And so you do not know how the law of attraction works, and thus it backfires.

Look at this beautiful soul MATE of yours as she cries out in pain (mostly childhood beliefs, she IS that little girl when she speaks like this)-

From last night, her words :

"you don't seem like you love me as much - you don't care about me - you don't see yourself with me in the future......." You may as well add the words mom and dad after that. Now every soul has left her, and you continually threaten the same. Do you understand how poor of a response this knee jerk reaction is. And how it reinforces her pain. Rhetorical question, I do not want an answer in fake words because I feel your vibration. And so I already know who you are. By the LOA (that never fails) I have been drawn to you with these posts to light the way.

You must line up what your giving (vibration) with what you believe. If not you will falsely fall into a beautiful slumber like the weekend getaway, and then have a rude awakening. Once again threatening her, and losing trust. It is YOUR responsibility to heal SELF FIRST IN ALL CASES, before pointing out the plank in anothers eye, pull your own out, period.

End of yet another message. Now I behoove you to 'get it', and listen closely to some 'internet nobody' who will ultimately save your relationship, and edify through self-growth.

Or ignore this, you have free will to continue to ask the same questions (over and over) without doing the work needed INSIDE YOURSELF.

You want someone here on this message board to tell you what a pain in the ass SHE IS ? (and the unenlightened among you will have all sorts of answers that by the LOA will resonate with your own negative vibrations). Well, Im telling you, you better turn around and face the self, because you are projecting upon her YOUR beliefs for you to then behold in the mirror. That is the purpose of relationships, to face and heal self, not complain about what one sees in another, which is ultimately YOUR REFLECTION, no exceptions, period.

Now, and importantly, no one should feel like they are being martyred by a spouse, friend, parent, whoever. And abuse is not good for you to suffer along. Once what is inside the self has changed however (by personal work and reflection), the world will change, and so if the current relationships fall by the wayside, so be it, you would attract what is in line with the current new beliefs in such a case, and there would be growth. You cannot change another, however you can change how another reacts and perceives YOU. By changing SELF.

It has been given, now, in full.

[Breakwood]

Wow.

Thank you. Sincerely.

I needed that.

[Im-Suffering]

Wow.

Thank you. Sincerely.

I needed that.

It was not completed until 9:16. 12 min. after this post. So please reread and save it for future reference. (I am a medium, so it comes as it comes). Now it is done.

God be with you, and in truth, God always is (regardless of your ideas about All that IS) - And that includes this mornings words. (some of which were harsh, but that is ok).

Next time you two 'get into it, know God is 'there'. Now, how will you react knowing that? Coming from a loving space is much different than a fight of beliefs. One (false) belief shouting at the other, you see, like a sparring match. That is what you are faced with. However God is 'underneath all of that fake identity crap', and thus Love (God) is ever present as a foundation for you to USE (energies, vitality). Grab hold of it and make it a practice then, to come from love, in your exchanges (all human exchanges).

[Breakwood]

Yes. Thank you. The words written above are precisely what I needed to be reminded of. It's amazing when you read something so truthful, it seems like you knew it all along...

[Im-Suffering]

Yes. Thank you. The words written above are precisely what I needed to be reminded of. It's amazing when you read something so truthful, it seems like you knew it all along...

I am glad we had this time together,

Many blessings