Traumatic hospital visit, back to not sleeping again

[willheal]

Forum post

Lifelong anxiety sufferer here. Had a hospital experience and I'm just in a bad spot now.

Went to the hospital recently and I've been having disturbing flashbacks since I left. There's a lot of graphic detail here. If you're a hypochondriac you may want to not read this part. But I just want to get it out of me.

Long story short here I get palpitations a lot. Especially recently. And they're supposedly harmless but one night I went to sleep and woke up in afib. And now I'm having a really hard time dealing with it. I feel like I might just die in my sleep. Or like they might give me the wrong medication and I'll just die on the spot. I feel like I might go into it again and lose consciousness and not even be able to say goodbye to my girlfriend. And that'd be the end of it. It's like this ultra intense existential fear that I can't kick and it's driving me nuts.

Here's how it went.

One night I was just falling asleep and I woke up in a full panic. I usually jump the first couple of times when I close my eyes so this isn't a big surprise. But the panic didn't stop. I felt my stomach drop and dread washed over me. "Oh my fucking god," I just repeated over and over, "I'm going to die". I ran frantically.

Well I didn't obviously. But my heart was racing and it felt like it was coming out of my chest. I went into an unusual arrhythmia called afib with rapid ventricular response. My girlfriend just kinda looked on in horror. I do have some bad panic attacks sometimes but this was a little different.

Fast forward, I'm in an ambulance. They gave me the wrong medicine. An adenocard injection, which stops your heart temporarily to fix the rhythm. But adenocard is bad if you're in afib. My heart stopped for 6 seconds after they injected it and then I felt the blood start flowing again in my arms. I didn't lose consciousness. My heart rate was still 270. (Normal is 60-80 for someone my age)

Being in the ambulance and feeling the blood stop in my arms is the most traumatic, disturbing thing I've ever felt and it keeps popping into my head. Every single day.

I was feeling pretty good tonight but then I remembered I could've just as easily gone into a more dangerous arrhythmia and died. And I wouldn't be here writing this post. Or holding my girlfriend's hand. Or spend time with the family anymore.

I cried my eyes out to the hospital staff when they told me I wasn't going to die after all

I stayed there for 3 days, did the stress test and all that. I'm just suffering some serious PTSD right now and I don't know what I'm going to do anymore.

Anxiety treatment has been very ineffective for me. I'm now on beta blockers which help immensely with the physical symptoms but there ain't a drug that can take it all away.

Thanks for listening all. It's 4:30 in the morning now so hopefully my xanax kicks in and I can go to sleep

[willheal]

Also wanted to mention I had a follow up dr appointment with a FAMILY DOCTOR and he told me (without performing proper diagnostics) that I was still in a dangerous fibrillating arrhythmia.

I wasn't. My heart rate was just elevated because I was in the doctors office. I have verified with the cardiologist now. They also did a number of tests and they determined the structure of my heart is completely fine and I'm not in danger.

It's most likely that the event had no physical cause or long lasting implications. But it disturbed me that a man with such confidence told me directly in his office that I was going to have a heart attack and stroke and I was going to did. This guy is a real bastard.

I went home in full blown panic and the sympathetic nervous issues were fully realized. My heart rate went way up in response. Hence why I was put on beta blockers.

So the positive part of this story is that one stray thought can't make my heart rate jump to 110. And I'm less likely to go into afib again on the beta blocker (presumably) but I'm still scared as hell.

[willheal]

It felt good to get this all out. I think my girlfriend needs a break from me talking her ear off about it

[gypsylee]

Also wanted to mention I had a follow up dr appointment with a FAMILY DOCTOR and he told me (without performing proper diagnostics) that I was still in a dangerous fibrillating arrhythmia.

I wasn't. My heart rate was just elevated because I was in the doctors office. I have verified with the cardiologist now. They also did a number of tests and they determined the structure of my heart is completely fine and I'm not in danger.

It's most likely that the event had no physical cause or long lasting implications. But it disturbed me that a man with such confidence told me directly in his office that I was going to have a heart attack and stroke and I was going to did. This guy is a real bastard.

Geez, doesn't give you a lot of confidence in the medical profession does it? That plus being given the wrong medication in the ambulance!

I'm a bit confused about all this though. I mean, was the afib caused by anxiety or do you have some underlying heart problem? You said you woke up in that state -- how does that happen? I've woken up in a panic before but 270bpm is extreme.

I don't blame you for feeling traumatised by this. It's probably a good idea to have a doctor to go to who isn't a bastard! The tests showed that your heart is fine and you're not in danger, so that should reassure you a bit. Maybe you need to talk to a counsellor about it though?

Hope you get some sleep :)
Gypsy x

[willheal]

Geez, doesn't give you a lot of confidence in the medical profession does it? That plus being given the wrong medication in the ambulance!

I'm a bit confused about all this though. I mean, was the afib caused by anxiety or do you have some underlying heart problem? You said you woke up in that state -- how does that happen? I've woken up in a panic before but 270bpm is extreme.

I don't blame you for feeling traumatised by this. It's probably a good idea to have a doctor to go to who isn't a bastard! The tests showed that your heart is fine and you're not in danger, so that should reassure you a bit. Maybe you need to talk to a counsellor about it though?

Hope you get some sleep :)
Gypsy x

Thank you, I eventually did fall asleep :) And thank you very much for taking the time to read my post

They're not sure what caused me to go into the arrhythmia, it could have just been a weird fluke. They said I'm too young to have this, my heart looks structurally fine. It was a rather extreme arrhythmia to go into, and I just had it the one time. Fortunately that bad doctor sent me to a real cardiologist, and this guy is the nicest doctor I've ever met. I hope he will find out what happened.

My heart rate is fine and it's moving at a solid pace right now. But at night when I lay down my mind starts getting the better of me. I have flash backs and I worry I will go to sleep and just suddenly die. My heart starts palpitating and it makes it worse.

It's just taking over my life at the moment, and I think I will just have to take the benzos at night for a while until things settle down.

Thanks again

[alex42]

Thank you, I eventually did fall asleep :) And thank you very much for taking the time to read my post

They're not sure what caused me to go into the arrhythmia, it could have just been a weird fluke. They said I'm too young to have this, my heart looks structurally fine. It was a rather extreme arrhythmia to go into, and I just had it the one time. Fortunately that bad doctor sent me to a real cardiologist, and this guy is the nicest doctor I've ever met. I hope he will find out what happened.

My heart rate is fine and it's moving at a solid pace right now. But at night when I lay down my mind starts getting the better of me. I have flash backs and I worry I will go to sleep and just suddenly die. My heart starts palpitating and it makes it worse.

It's just taking over my life at the moment, and I think I will just have to take the benzos at night for a while until things settle down.

Thanks again
Thinking about it too much can be a problem. If the cardiologist told you you're heart is healthy, that SHOULD make you feel a lot better...
But our minds can play tricks on us. I understand.
You are fine. Most likely it is just your imagination...

[willheal]

Thinking about it too much can be a problem. If the cardiologist told you you're heart is healthy, that SHOULD make you feel a lot better...
But our minds can play tricks on us. I understand.
You are fine. Most likely it is just your imagination...

thank you alex, I appreciate your response

As much as I would like to believe that it was just anxiety, the extreme heart rate did release a protein indicating that there was some minor damage done. The episode went unexplained, too, since the rhythm specialists couldn't pinpoint the cause. The medicine they gave me in triage was incorrect (potentially fatal; they misread the ECG at first) and so while I'm probably healthy now, it just feels like I'm not standing on sturdy ground anymore.

Sorta like someone promised me I was going to be safe and my trust was betrayed.

Mostly during the day I feel fine and healthy. The beta blockers medicine they gave me actually makes it so I can exert myself without having an anxiety attack. But at night I start to feel frail and sick like I was in the hospital. I keep having flashbacks of being in the ambulance. It makes me cry sometimes and I don't know when I'll feel confident about my health again

[gypsylee]

thank you alex, I appreciate your response

As much as I would like to believe that it was just anxiety, the extreme heart rate did release a protein indicating that there was some minor damage done. The episode went unexplained, too, since the rhythm specialists couldn't pinpoint the cause. The medicine they gave me in triage was incorrect (potentially fatal; they misread the ECG at first) and so while I'm probably healthy now, it just feels like I'm not standing on sturdy ground anymore.

Sorta like someone promised me I was going to be safe and my trust was betrayed.

Mostly during the day I feel fine and healthy. The beta blockers medicine they gave me actually makes it so I can exert myself without having an anxiety attack. But at night I start to feel frail and sick like I was in the hospital. I keep having flashbacks of being in the ambulance. It makes me cry sometimes and I don't know when I'll feel confident about my health again

Yeah it's more than the usual health anxiety when something like that has happened to you. That's just terrible they gave you the wrong medicine. I'm glad you've got a good cardiologist.

I guess it will just take some time for you to get over it, like any traumatic event. You might not ever get over it fully but it should get easier. In a way it'd be harder to deal with than some trauma, because when you think about it and get anxious, you get a similar feeling to the traumatic event! The benzos at night sound like a good idea for a while.

[willheal]

Yeah it's more than the usual health anxiety when something like that has happened to you. That's just terrible they gave you the wrong medicine. I'm glad you've got a good cardiologist.

I guess it will just take some time for you to get over it, like any traumatic event. You might not ever get over it fully but it should get easier. In a way it'd be harder to deal with than some trauma, because when you think about it and get anxious, you get a similar feeling to the traumatic event! The benzos at night sound like a good idea for a while.

Thanks again. Big improvement today and I think it's because i was Able to get some of this off my chest (so to speak...)