Hello, feeling very in need of some support

[delekatala]

Hi, I don't really post, but I'm at one of those points where I just need to do something with myself. So I'm going to type out my story.

I am a 33 year old female, Diagnosed with Panic disorder w/ agoraphobia, PTSD, and OCD. Also a severe asthmatic (anxiety induced of course) and an insulin dependent diabetic. I was brought up in child protective services because my mother was an addict. I was in and out of her custody until I was 12ish, and then she lost her parental rights and I lived with my father and stepmother since. As a result of this, I vowed to never be like that. I do not smoke, drink, use narcotics, not even coffee. Probably the first sign of anxiety, it scared me so I avoided it like the plague.

Anyhow, I now have 4 children, Alex my son who is 12, he is high functioning autistic. He has had problems in school, and comes home early about half the time. He is intelligent and caring, but does meltdown when he gets overwhelmed. I have a set of twins born premature, One is Lily, she is 6 now, she is such a beautiful fierce little spirit. Still a little delayed, but progressing steadily. The other is Genevive, who passed away due to complications of prematurity when she was 16 days old. She was beautiful and I miss her greatly. Lastly I have William, who is autistic as well, but severely autistic, non verbal. He started out ok, even began to talk, about ten or so words. Then he regressed and lost it all. He still functions at a ten month level in most areas. Doesn't respond to verbal input, doesn't point to communicate, very challenging to engage. However, he has a beautiful smile, is generally content in his own little world, and LOVES food.

I was in a bad marriage, he had bipolar, and his mental health deteriorated over time. I was home-bound for about 8 years, due to my agoraphobia. I just got worse and worse, couldn't drive anymore, couldn't handle shopping. I pretty much stayed home and made beautiful babies. I rarely got out if I was with a comfort person, and did dr trips, that's about it. Things came to a breaking point and I attempted to commit suicide, I just felt useless, I felt the children would be better off without me. Anyhow that led to a huge change, I got into an extensive therapy program, Did DBT, private therapy, had in home support. Over the course of two years I managed to get myself more independent and functioning. I took driving lessons and drove again for the first time in ten years (I do have to pull over with my hazards sometimes). Finally I felt I was capable enough to ask my husband to move out. His mental health was no good for me or the kids.

It's been one year and two months since he moved out. In that time my supports slowly withdrew. In home support called me a success story and closed the case. DBT I had gone through the curriculum twice, and that was done. PASS which was a program to help with my autistic son 20 hours a week closed. In home therapy for William ended and he was moved into the school system. The only thing I do now is see my private therapist, and see my prescriber.

The thing is I am not better. I learned a ton of coping skills, And a ton of ways to get myself to do things DESPITE my anxiety, but its still there it is not gone. And one by one without my supports it has gotten worse and worse. The husband was fantastic at first with helping with the kids, but then he got a girlfriend who lives an hour away and now we don't see him for weeks at a time. I do have a boyfriend myself who is kind and caring, but works long hours, and I think doesn't understand my disability. he always leaves me feeling broken and like I'm just not doing good enough. Having three special needs children is taking its toll, it is nonstop relentless work, they all have different needs, I don't have enough arms. If Alex has one of his 5 hour meltdowns, how can I keep him safe and help him calm down and still care for the other two? Its frustrating and scary.

I am starting to feel so hopeless. I don't think I can truly be independent, my disability is just too severe. I am having extreme thoughts, and need more help. But where do I find it, who can I safely tell this too without child protective services taking my children. They are my motivation for getting better, and my motivation for going on. I am so desperately scared of losing them. I just need to do better, and I don't know how to make it happen. I am always frightened, always struggling to do simple tasks. My coping skills I learned that helped me function take too much time and I have no one to give me breaks to do them. I am soooo broken. Other people seem to be able to function without these issues I hate it.

[delekatala]

My first post after two years. Here are some photos of my family.

Alex 1505

ME 1506

William1507

Lily1508

Genevive 1509

[Im-Suffering]

Hi, I don't really post, but I'm at one of those points where I just need to do something with myself. So I'm going to type out my story.

I am a 33 year old female, Diagnosed with Panic disorder w/ agoraphobia, PTSD, and OCD. Also a severe asthmatic (anxiety induced of course) and an insulin dependent diabetic. I was brought up in child protective services because my mother was an addict. I was in and out of her custody until I was 12ish, and then she lost her parental rights and I lived with my father and stepmother since. As a result of this, I vowed to never be like that. I do not smoke, drink, use narcotics, not even coffee. Probably the first sign of anxiety, it scared me so I avoided it like the plague.

Anyhow, I now have 4 children, Alex my son who is 12, he is high functioning autistic. He has had problems in school, and comes home early about half the time. He is intelligent and caring, but does meltdown when he gets overwhelmed. I have a set of twins born premature, One is Lily, she is 6 now, she is such a beautiful fierce little spirit. Still a little delayed, but progressing steadily. The other is Genevive, who passed away due to complications of prematurity when she was 16 days old. She was beautiful and I miss her greatly. Lastly I have William, who is autistic as well, but severely autistic, non verbal. He started out ok, even began to talk, about ten or so words. Then he regressed and lost it all. He still functions at a ten month level in most areas. Doesn't respond to verbal input, doesn't point to communicate, very challenging to engage. However, he has a beautiful smile, is generally content in his own little world, and LOVES food.

I was in a bad marriage, he had bipolar, and his mental health deteriorated over time. I was home-bound for about 8 years, due to my agoraphobia. I just got worse and worse, couldn't drive anymore, couldn't handle shopping. I pretty much stayed home and made beautiful babies. I rarely got out if I was with a comfort person, and did dr trips, that's about it. Things came to a breaking point and I attempted to commit suicide, I just felt useless, I felt the children would be better off without me. Anyhow that led to a huge change, I got into an extensive therapy program, Did DBT, private therapy, had in home support. Over the course of two years I managed to get myself more independent and functioning. I took driving lessons and drove again for the first time in ten years (I do have to pull over with my hazards sometimes). Finally I felt I was capable enough to ask my husband to move out. His mental health was no good for me or the kids.

It's been one year and two months since he moved out. In that time my supports slowly withdrew. In home support called me a success story and closed the case. DBT I had gone through the curriculum twice, and that was done. PASS which was a program to help with my autistic son 20 hours a week closed. In home therapy for William ended and he was moved into the school system. The only thing I do now is see my private therapist, and see my prescriber.

The thing is I am not better. I learned a ton of coping skills, And a ton of ways to get myself to do things DESPITE my anxiety, but its still there it is not gone. And one by one without my supports it has gotten worse and worse. The husband was fantastic at first with helping with the kids, but then he got a girlfriend who lives an hour away and now we don't see him for weeks at a time. I do have a boyfriend myself who is kind and caring, but works long hours, and I think doesn't understand my disability. he always leaves me feeling broken and like I'm just not doing good enough. Having three special needs children is taking its toll, it is nonstop relentless work, they all have different needs, I don't have enough arms. If Alex has one of his 5 hour meltdowns, how can I keep him safe and help him calm down and still care for the other two? Its frustrating and scary.

I am starting to feel so hopeless. I don't think I can truly be independent, my disability is just too severe. I am having extreme thoughts, and need more help. But where do I find it, who can I safely tell this too without child protective services taking my children. They are my motivation for getting better, and my motivation for going on. I am so desperately scared of losing them. I just need to do better, and I don't know how to make it happen. I am always frightened, always struggling to do simple tasks. My coping skills I learned that helped me function take too much time and I have no one to give me breaks to do them. I am soooo broken. Other people seem to be able to function without these issues I hate it.

It is not very often we come across this. Here we have an incredibly strong and courageous entity. One must be powerful to come in facing these challenges. Some skirt around life after life before facing issues slowly, and some, the stronger of us, take it all on at once without any seeming long term support. So I feel certainly compelled by this story. I indeed love this special one. (you). When 'we' say 'I', it is the voices within, I am merely a channel.

This type of sojourn usually follows one we will call a vacation, or 'easy' where the soul put off what it needs to do, for a 'later time'. And so we are faced here (tackling many issues), all at once, so to speak, and in regard to the children, roles have been reversed you see, where they took care of you, but only with a different perspective can one have a complete (rounded) experience. You have a full plate not to overwhelm or break you, but because you can handle it. Intuition tells you this is not your first go round. Whether your mind tells you to believe in reincarnation or not, it doesn't change the truth one bit, or what your up to here, your purpose (which is apparent).

To help you I would need to type here for hours, and indeed I could, I feel it welling up inside, but..

It has all been said before, in my 800 odd posts, compiling over a books worth of material here. And so I suggest you click my nickname over to the left, 'view forum posts' and let true serendipity guide you. Do this regardless of, and in compliment to, any responses you may receive here.

Certainly you have time, at bedtime, when the world is quiet, to read on, and on. Then you may PM if you have questions.

Blessings to a beautiful strong soul.

[Kuma]

Is there a social services agency in your community that could offer some support? I know that where I live, there are some agencies that could offer some assistance to people dealing with tough situations, as you are -- some counselling, some help with the kids, etc. Practical things that can make your life a bit easier and give you some support so that you are better able to deal with the challenges that you face -- so they don't overwhelm you. Maybe there is such an agency or organization in your community too? Maybe you could call the folks who previously offered you in home support and see if they could re-start that or direct you to some other source for assistance? Pretty much anyone in your situation would find it tough and draining and sometimes a bit overwhelming. So I don't think you are at all unusual in that way. But I do think some support and assistance could make things more manageable.

[delekatala]

Thank you both for your thoughtful replies. I have been speaking with my therapist about getting some respite care setup for William. so I can have a bit of a break, just not sure if he qualifies.

[Im-Suffering]

Thank you both for your thoughtful replies. I have been speaking with my therapist about getting some respite care setup for William. so I can have a bit of a break, just not sure if he qualifies.

I want you to look at your original post. examine your thoughts that were put to paper (so to speak) from a 3rd person perspective. Read it, feel it. And then recognize not one sentence of it is positive. (Oh, but it is so joyful to..", "even so, what a pleasure", "I am so deeply blessed" and so forth).

Pay attention here.

You are what you think, there are no exceptions. You get what you expect, period.

Listen carefully - here is your lesson : You've often wondered about the reason for it all.

Aside from the blame, guilt, resentment, and victimization - separate those 4 words into topics on a sheet of paper and list under each the people, experiences and events apropos. Then rip it up and release every hurt, pain, and thought of any of it.

The lesson and the edification lies in the rewards that your life brings daily, the special moments that are on the flip side of the coin. That go unrecognized. Heads does not know what it feels like to be tails or even recognize he has another side.. And so have you forgotten the sheer joy and pleasure of each event, it is the journey that counts. And how you live with your cards.

That is the sole, "soul" purpose, what else did you think life was about?

I behoove you to 'get this' now, period. You may never hear it again.

And do not come back with, "oh ! but my life is enriched ! I love them so ! They are gifts" because if that was the beliefs that's what you would have posted. What you posted feels badly, and thus they come from false beliefs about you, them, what you are up to, and you in relation to the world, and other people. You may find you need to take more responsibility, I assure you energy is limitless, you will never run out of it, and die of fatigue, nor would you be 'tested' by some vengeful universe past breaking point.

Its all laid out in the stars, you see. You are never given more than you can handle. And the purpose is to find joy in self and your life through clearing the crap.

Now, if the OP does not return, let this message go out to you, readers, who find themselves in a breaking position with seemingly no way out. And that position is testing your will and stirring negative emotions (feelings, thoughts).

[Kuma]

I'm Suffering -- it is very easy for you to tell the OP that she should focus on the rewards and special moments, that her condition is a result of her own thoughts -- and, outrageously, that she may need to "take more responsibility" -- because YOU do not have to deal with her health conditions, her past, her loss of a child, her effort to raise and take care of autistic children, her mental health issues, etc. She seems to be taking PLENTY of responsibility and doing the best she can with a situation that is pretty challenging.

You can say: "Energy is limitless" -- but the energy of a particular human being is, unfortunately, NOT limitless. It is finite. And for someone in the OP's situation, having enough energy to cope and meet her responsibilities, day to day, is probably not so easy.

You say "you are never given more than you can handle." But the unfair reality is that some people ARE given more than they can handle. That is not their fault, and it is not the result of something "in the stars" -- it is just the way things are in our imperfect world. (That is why I suggested the OP seek to help/support/respite -- because with that it might not be more than she can handle).

Instead of resorting to absurd platitudes or trying to blame someone for the challenges that they face, let's try to offer some real world support to folks who come here with real world problems.

Because none of us here is a mystic, or a fortune teller, or a deity, or a soothsayer or a prophet or a psychic. We are all just regular people who live in the real world, with real world problems and challenges -- most of which are not our own fault.

[delekatala]

Well, in an effort to be proactive, I made a list of places to call tomorrow, printed out a weekly schedule and wrote it all out to see how I can streamline and make my weeks less overwhelming. And I asked my boyfriend to do some research about panic disorder. I am also going to start reviewing my DBT binder. one page a day, take maybe ten minutes.

I feel a bit better with a plan.

[Kuma]

Sounds like you are doing the right things, delekatala.

[Im-Suffering]

What problems or challenges are not our own fault? Who should the finger point to?


I'm Suffering -- it is very easy for you to tell the OP that she should focus on the rewards and special moments, that her condition is a result of her own thoughts -- and, outrageously, that she may need to "take more responsibility" -- because YOU do not have to deal with her health conditions, her past, her loss of a child, her effort to raise and take care of autistic children, her mental health issues, etc. She seems to be taking PLENTY of responsibility and doing the best she can with a situation that is pretty challenging.

You can say: "Energy is limitless" -- but the energy of a particular human being is, unfortunately, NOT limitless. It is finite. And for someone in the OP's situation, having enough energy to cope and meet her responsibilities, day to day, is probably not so easy.

You say "you are never given more than you can handle." But the unfair reality is that some people ARE given more than they can handle. That is not their fault, and it is not the result of something "in the stars" -- it is just the way things are in our imperfect world. (That is why I suggested the OP seek to help/support/respite -- because with that it might not be more than she can handle).

Instead of resorting to absurd platitudes or trying to blame someone for the challenges that they face, let's try to offer some real world support to folks who come here with real world problems.

Because none of us here is a mystic, or a fortune teller, or a deity, or a soothsayer or a prophet or a psychic. We are all just regular people who live in the real world, with real world problems and challenges -- most of which are not our own fault.

All that matters here is in her current post :

"I feel a bit better with a plan."

That is responsibility, and finally, ownership.

In that plan, and whatever (beneficial) decisions follow (symbolically) will come the energy (physically) necessary for its fulfillment. Energy is "on call", your beliefs about it wont change that. Even death cannot destroy energy and its availability. Now, that would be bleak, should death be your complete annihilation of identity.

It is in her highest regard that we see her at her best, fulfilled and happy. What is easy is to pity the (perceived) victim, which reinforces those feelings (in them) and projects upon them more of the same. Its not about creating the journey and then brooding over it. But I do understand that if the problems and challenges are not the fault of the individual, then brooding and blame are justified. Its the disease that inevitably follows (that line of thinking) that would not be welcome. "I certainly didn't ask for this" !

Always, no matter what (they do to you, themselves, or the world), see everyone at their best, even in what seems to be their worst of times.

Its not about you or I, now that would be a waste of energy (whatever finite energy you think you have left).

Im not playing, 'tag your it' with you on this board.

Have your say, and let it stand, without the anger that you know is such a sticking point for you, leading to stress and some health worries.. I am your ally, on this journey in the sense that what is in you, that needs addressing - that I trigger.

[Kuma]

<<...the anger that you know is such a sticking point for you, leading to stress and some health worries.. I am your ally, on this journey in the sense that what is in you, that needs addressing - that I trigger>>


I'm Suffering: I am not angry at you. I don't even know you. You are just some random guy on the internet. I don't get angry at random people on the internet any more than I would get angry at a cartoon character. But I do think you sometimes provide destructive advice and make statements that are nonsensical. And when you give advice that is destructive, or say things that are absurd (such as that all illnesses, including cancer, are caused solely by a person's thoughts, or that a struggling woman's real-world difficulties (which you could not even pretend to understand) are her own fault, or that you have the ability to get inside other people's minds or to communicate with dead people), then I will sometimes respond to point out the fallacy.

I also find many of your posts here to be arrogant. For example, telling people to read what you post and ignore everything else or that someone should read your post a thousand times. What hubris.

I do not know what motivates you, of course. Maybe it is simply a power trip. Maybe you are delusional. Maybe it is all tied up with the Seth Network nonsense. Or maybe you are sincerely trying to be helpful, and just have an odd way of going about it. It is impossible for me to tell.

I do know that I have received a number of private messages on this board thanking me for taking the time to respond to fallacious statements that you have made and destructive advice that you have given, and raising questions about your motivations and your approach. So it is clear that I am not alone in my concern about the impact that you have here on people who are at a vulnerable time in their lives and seeking support and comfort and advice.

But no, I am not angry at you. If anything, I sort of feel badly for you. I hope you find what you are looking for. But in the process, I hope you do not do harm to others.

[Im-Suffering]

I'm Suffering: I am not angry at you. I don't even know you. You are just some random guy on the internet. I don't get angry at random people on the internet any more than I would get angry at a cartoon character. But I do think you sometimes provide destructive advice and make statements that are nonsensical. And when you give advice that is destructive, or say things that are absurd (such as that all illnesses, including cancer, are caused solely by a person's thoughts, or that a struggling woman's real-world difficulties (which you could not even pretend to understand) are her own fault, or that you have the ability to get inside other people's minds or to communicate with dead people), then I will sometimes respond to point out the fallacy.

Its ok to feel, Kuma. Even for or against some 'random internet guy' that has as much validity (in your terms) as say a 'cartoon character'. I assure you though, I am 'real'. If I was as insignificant as you suggest, you would simply pass by without a remark. You are attracted to me.

In any case, fair enough. I have heard your comments. Now, enough. The small amount of ignorance that has sent PM's are expected given the difficult subject matter and the sheer number of overall readers. (tens of thousands). So let's add some clear perspective.

Lastly in regards to the OP of this thread, is your glass full or empty? I merely pointed out how full it is. And I don't mean full of problems. Blessed, enriched, joyful, meaningful, and that she has more than enough strength (and energy) to handle any challenges. "Oh yes, I have been focusing on the negatives, there is so much to be thankful for, I will work on that, in fact I've started to focus on solutions, I feel better and I'm accomplishing more" - pity or sending more depressive thoughts will not trigger edification, but sink her deeper into woe is me. And take you (and anyone else) right into that hole too.

If your going to quote bits of my posts, please do so accurately and not from memory.

An illness is a failure to solve a mental or psychological problem in the correct manner.

And from a previous post -

The self tries to solve a particular problem. In so doing, it may end up with a physical difficulty. The physical difficulty is meant to remind the personality of the inner problem behind it. The difficulty will be cleared up when the inner problem is.

You must be taught and trained to create responsibly. Yours is a training system for emerging consciousness. The training will serve you for existence in a variety of interrelated systems.

If the sorrows and agonies within your system were not felt as real, the lessons would not be learned.

[NixonRulz]

Hi, I don't really post, but I'm at one of those points where I just need to do something with myself. So I'm going to type out my story.

I am a 33 year old female, Diagnosed with Panic disorder w/ agoraphobia, PTSD, and OCD. Also a severe asthmatic (anxiety induced of course) and an insulin dependent diabetic. I was brought up in child protective services because my mother was an addict. I was in and out of her custody until I was 12ish, and then she lost her parental rights and I lived with my father and stepmother since. As a result of this, I vowed to never be like that. I do not smoke, drink, use narcotics, not even coffee. Probably the first sign of anxiety, it scared me so I avoided it like the plague.

Anyhow, I now have 4 children, Alex my son who is 12, he is high functioning autistic. He has had problems in school, and comes home early about half the time. He is intelligent and caring, but does meltdown when he gets overwhelmed. I have a set of twins born premature, One is Lily, she is 6 now, she is such a beautiful fierce little spirit. Still a little delayed, but progressing steadily. The other is Genevive, who passed away due to complications of prematurity when she was 16 days old. She was beautiful and I miss her greatly. Lastly I have William, who is autistic as well, but severely autistic, non verbal. He started out ok, even began to talk, about ten or so words. Then he regressed and lost it all. He still functions at a ten month level in most areas. Doesn't respond to verbal input, doesn't point to communicate, very challenging to engage. However, he has a beautiful smile, is generally content in his own little world, and LOVES food.

I was in a bad marriage, he had bipolar, and his mental health deteriorated over time. I was home-bound for about 8 years, due to my agoraphobia. I just got worse and worse, couldn't drive anymore, couldn't handle shopping. I pretty much stayed home and made beautiful babies. I rarely got out if I was with a comfort person, and did dr trips, that's about it. Things came to a breaking point and I attempted to commit suicide, I just felt useless, I felt the children would be better off without me. Anyhow that led to a huge change, I got into an extensive therapy program, Did DBT, private therapy, had in home support. Over the course of two years I managed to get myself more independent and functioning. I took driving lessons and drove again for the first time in ten years (I do have to pull over with my hazards sometimes). Finally I felt I was capable enough to ask my husband to move out. His mental health was no good for me or the kids.

It's been one year and two months since he moved out. In that time my supports slowly withdrew. In home support called me a success story and closed the case. DBT I had gone through the curriculum twice, and that was done. PASS which was a program to help with my autistic son 20 hours a week closed. In home therapy for William ended and he was moved into the school system. The only thing I do now is see my private therapist, and see my prescriber.

The thing is I am not better. I learned a ton of coping skills, And a ton of ways to get myself to do things DESPITE my anxiety, but its still there it is not gone. And one by one without my supports it has gotten worse and worse. The husband was fantastic at first with helping with the kids, but then he got a girlfriend who lives an hour away and now we don't see him for weeks at a time. I do have a boyfriend myself who is kind and caring, but works long hours, and I think doesn't understand my disability. he always leaves me feeling broken and like I'm just not doing good enough. Having three special needs children is taking its toll, it is nonstop relentless work, they all have different needs, I don't have enough arms. If Alex has one of his 5 hour meltdowns, how can I keep him safe and help him calm down and still care for the other two? Its frustrating and scary.

I am starting to feel so hopeless. I don't think I can truly be independent, my disability is just too severe. I am having extreme thoughts, and need more help. But where do I find it, who can I safely tell this too without child protective services taking my children. They are my motivation for getting better, and my motivation for going on. I am so desperately scared of losing them. I just need to do better, and I don't know how to make it happen. I am always frightened, always struggling to do simple tasks. My coping skills I learned that helped me function take too much time and I have no one to give me breaks to do them. I am soooo broken. Other people seem to be able to function without these issues I hate it.

I just think you must be some type of saint. I have no idea how you do what you do on a daily basis.

You may feel broken, as you say but reading your post makes me believe you are one of the strongest people I have ever come across.

You dwell on the anxiety, yet don't mention that you are somehow super human to be able to raise 4 kids, some with a disability and you are doing it alone.

If I was a betting man, my money would be on you as the person to most easily get over any anxiety disorder

Changing your thoughts and belief system should be a walk in the park compared to what your everyday life is

Actually, I am going to place that bet now. My money is now on you.

You're entirely too strong to allow Anxiety's false narrative to even have the slightest of chances of defeating you

[delekatala]

What a lovely sentiment to come back to! I have been pulling my hair out this week, but have managed it successfully so far.

My older boy had a big meltdown at school monday, and they called a rescue to bring him to the ER because he wouldn't get off the floor. I got to ride in a police car to the hospital! This morning I went to the school to get the incident report and talk to the involved parties to see what happened. I think it was ridiculous to send a child to the hospital for a behavior issue, but we all spoke of our concerns and will be having a meeting to create a safety plan that doesn't involve ambulances or police cars unless he is a danger to himself or others.

First week after school vacation off to a great start! I am now running a fundraiser to get a communication device for the little one, so he can tell me no like all the other little boys! And I am spending my between time using coping skills and reviewing my step by step plan for the day soo i keep going.

[NixonRulz]

What a lovely sentiment to come back to! I have been pulling my hair out this week, but have managed it successfully so far.

My older boy had a big meltdown at school monday, and they called a rescue to bring him to the ER because he wouldn't get off the floor. I got to ride in a police car to the hospital! This morning I went to the school to get the incident report and talk to the involved parties to see what happened. I think it was ridiculous to send a child to the hospital for a behavior issue, but we all spoke of our concerns and will be having a meeting to create a safety plan that doesn't involve ambulances or police cars unless he is a danger to himself or others.

First week after school vacation off to a great start! I am now running a fundraiser to get a communication device for the little one, so he can tell me no like all the other little boys! And I am spending my between time using coping skills and reviewing my step by step plan for the day soo i keep going.

Of course you are running a fundraiser. Who else would be able to pile even more on her responsibility

Start a GoFund me page. Lots of people would kick in, I'm sure

[delekatala]

That's what i did a gofund me page! Great minds.....

[Im-Suffering]

That's what i did a gofund me page! Great minds.....

I am very proud of you. Your future is full of love, light and fulfillment. Step into it gracefully, with confidence that whatever is needed will be supplied. Trust. Faith. Hope. Expect good things.