Problems with carrying tasks/hobbies? [Archive] - Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks

Im-Suffering

02-12-2015, 07:32 AM

The answer is out of the box, and so I will briefly take you there, kick start the psyche and open a small crack in the door. Just enough light will come in, IF you are ready, then its up to you. Show your spouse this post and read it several times.

Hi i'm new on here. I have general and social anxiety as well as bipolar. - You use the words "I have" often. Those are very powerful words. You should use them wisely (constructively).

If you realized even for a SPLIT SECOND that you create your reality, then the use of terms, I have, I am, I am being, I cant, I wont, Im trying, Im struggling, would take on new meaning, more IMPORTANCE as to discrimination and examination. Your thoughts are littered with them

I'm having (again, the use of I have, I AM) problems doing my hobbies - crafty stuff, baking, cooking etc. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I can't start them. I really want to do them, but the thought of actually carrying it out and starting it, it feels too overwhelming and i don't know even where to begin. I can struggle just trying to read a book or do a puzzle, my concentration can be quite poor sometimes.
My partner thinks its related lated to my 'perfectionistic' thoughts, that if i start to carry it out and it doesn't go well or look right, then i'll get upset about it so i just don't do the activity at all. Theres probably some truth in that.

Does anyone else have this problem? Does anyone use any strategies to finish tasks or do activities they enjoy? I am starting to find it really debilitating as its stopping me from doing practically anything - walking the dog, gardening, i just think 'i can't do it'.

Thanks. Y Zebra

It would be flippant to say "put one foot in front of the other and tread slooowwlly" although that is appropriate in a very basic sense. For you though "I cant do it" is a belief, and so you understand, these issues coming up are to be healed. What did you think your purpose was in this life? To buy a new house? I assure you, life has more meaning and depth than you suppose.

The crafts and hobbies are illusions, smoke and mirrors to mask the issues. A mirage by a crafty psyche to sidestep for as long as possible the inner mental work the precedes all physical activity. The challenges then are TRIGGERS. And called for by the inner self as if to say "hey you, wake up"

Whoever or whatever EVER told you, or INSTILLED IN YOU, or SELF SUGGESTED IN YOURSELF, ANY false ideas or beliefs ABOUT YOU and /or your relation to the world - That is the work, the ONLY work worthy of doing, thy sole 'SOUL' purpose, and reason for being.

To heal every false belief or idea you hold about yourself - period - and the self in relation to the world. To examine your world view, to sort out the self through relationships and experiences, to release stored emotions. To recognize bad feelings come from false beliefs. To feel good ALL OF THE TIME.

Bipolar is a result, you see, of a suppressed conflicted mind (beliefs). That is fertile soil for a 'split'.

One feels good all the time by releasing one by one those beliefs that cause you to feel bad. Through the poison known as GUILT. And SHAME, and BLAME, covered with the blanket of VICTIMHOOD.

Now I will show you your own mind, I know the thought in itself "I am meant to feel good all of the time" causes distress and conflicts. Those (thoughts) are exactly the beliefs consciously that will lead to healing, and to deeper layers of the mind that they are 'bridged to', memories.

That is enough, simply, to get the point across. Again, multiple readings of this are necessary. And yes, lastly "I am a perfectionist" is a belief. Now don't act so blindly on them as a child would do, in fact, as a child is doing (the inner child adopted most of your current beliefs). And so examine them from an adults perspective, when you notice one that feels badly.

If a magic fairy should appear before your very eyes (physically) and say "My love, I behoove you to watch your footing. You create your reality by your thoughts (beliefs) and expectations, and propel them into being by the power of emotion. There is no exceptions my dear human. The good and the bad, the happy days, and those filled with pain. (of any sort of negative experiences). So take responsibility, dear, FULLY, for every aspect of your life. OWN IT. For you must own it to responsibly create it."

What changes in you would that experience make in how you construct your life?

That is all on that.

Now, another (your) post more in detail (and a brief response) :

" Dr dan,

I am new on here and would very much appreciate your thoughts on this....

I am 30yrs old. I have bipolar type 2 ultra rapid cycling which is treated currently with 750mg Depakote (valproate semisodium) in 2 divided doses and 800mg lithium priadel at night. My moods have started to cycle again (slowly), i am getting mixed moods and depression again. I think i need to increase the depakote? Or perhaps switch it for something else?

Perhaps now you are wondering why i am typing on here? I have general and social anxiety too. Previously i have had CBT and it worked well, but that was a few years ago and now it has all crept back. I rarely go out alone as i worry constantly about what people think of me - whilst in a supermarket, driving, in a cafe. I avoid going in my garden incase i have to speak to my neighbours. I have stopped working because of the perceived pressure to impress my boss, it stressed me out. I also like to make everything 'perfect' and struggle to do things because i worry they won't turn out that way. This means i can't actually face doing any of my hobbies - craft, sewing, and struggle to cook meals which i used to love.
I have in the past has lorazepam, diazepam or chlorpromazine at a low dose as PRN for my anxiety but i don't want to take these now due to driving.

My question is - what steps do you think i should take with regards to my bipolar treatment and getting my anxiety back under
control?

Ps. Some things that maybe you need to know? My thyroid has died thanks to lithium, i now take levothyroxine. I also have diabetes insipidus because of lithium. The depakote also gives me a mild intermittent tremor, which i'm slightly concerned about getting worse if the dose is increased?
I'm on rivaroxaban (anti coagulant) due to recent DVT. oh and i can't take SSRIs because they make me even more crazy! (Hyper).

Thanks ever so much, sorry if i am quite complicated, you have my full permission to use me in your essays or whatever if that helps your studies!
Thanks again
Yellow Zebra"

There is no constructive benefit in wearing your 'disorder' as a badge of courage, or a trophy on the wall. Or thinking of the self in lesser terms or some laboratory experiment gone wrong. The re-occurring symptoms are in large part due to the beliefs and cocktail of medications that reinforce the conditions. The liver and smaller associated organs are under stress, symbolic of the mental atmosphere. You are fed up, which in itself good, triggering openings for healing that would otherwise remain closed. But the outlook is bleak (your perspective), and so the expectations follow. The outlook will only change as small steps are taken in the opposite direction.

These steps are partly taken through constructive use of the imagination, where now, all the pictures are dire. The mixture of drugs curtails the positive creative use of it, by in part shutting it down. You simply cant think aright, imagining complete health, or that you are 'whole'. Which ironically is the savior here.