Have had anxiety for 7 years and still can't figure it out.

[Rd_]

As the title says, I've had anxiety now for about 7 years and this is the first time writing about it, so any advice would be much appreciated......

I think I've always had more than the normal anxiety due to being raised in a very abusive household. However, it really surfaced and became unmanageable about 7 years ago when I was put on ankle monitor for breaking the law. I was sentenced to 4 months with a few hours of "free time" every Thursday. The first couple of weeks I used them, but after that I started getting depressed to the point I didn't leave my apartment when I could. I started to lose my hair and the first time I started drinking.

From then to now it has evolved to a few different things. I use to get "bloated" after I would eat anything. So going to restaurants and eating with people I had the same excuse, I wasn't hungry. Then it went to after eating I would be bloated and feeling like I was going to get sick up to an hour after I ate, even after drinking water sometimes. I went to the doctor and they said "here take some antidepressants and you'll be fine"(which made me horribly dizzy). All my blood-work came out fine. For the last few years I now have a fear of going out because I don't feel well almost all the time(constant anxiety/pressure/upset stomach) especially after bowel movements(like I have the flu). My bowel movements are almost always soft, but not diarrhea. I drink a lot of alcohol which helps with the anxiety of going out. A trip to the mall without fear and sober would only be a dream.

I've tried working out, no caffeine, no yeast diet, no spicy foods, no sweets, no junk food, vitamins, fish oils, gut bacteria, and probably forgot some stuff. Diatomaceous earth and fish oil slightly help.

I'm 32 and going to be a first time farther. I've just recently missed my baby's ultrasound because of anxiety/panic. I'm ready for a change. Again any advice would be wonderful. Thank you.

[Cimi]

As the title says, I've had anxiety now for about 7 years and this is the first time writing about it, so any advice would be much appreciated......

I think I've always had more than the normal anxiety due to being raised in a very abusive household. However, it really surfaced and became unmanageable about 7 years ago when I was put on ankle monitor for breaking the law. I was sentenced to 4 months with a few hours of "free time" every Thursday. The first couple of weeks I used them, but after that I started getting depressed to the point I didn't leave my apartment when I could. I started to lose my hair and the first time I started drinking.

From then to now it has evolved to a few different things. I use to get "bloated" after I would eat anything. So going to restaurants and eating with people I had the same excuse, I wasn't hungry. Then it went to after eating I would be bloated and feeling like I was going to get sick up to an hour after I ate, even after drinking water sometimes. I went to the doctor and they said "here take some antidepressants and you'll be fine"(which made me horribly dizzy). All my blood-work came out fine. For the last few years I now have a fear of going out because I don't feel well almost all the time(constant anxiety/pressure/upset stomach) especially after bowel movements(like I have the flu). My bowel movements are almost always soft, but not diarrhea. I drink a lot of alcohol which helps with the anxiety of going out. A trip to the mall without fear and sober would only be a dream.

I've tried working out, no caffeine, no yeast diet, no spicy foods, no sweets, no junk food, vitamins, fish oils, gut bacteria, and probably forgot some stuff. Diatomaceous earth and fish oil slightly help.

I'm 32 and going to be a first time farther. I've just recently missed my baby's ultrasound because of anxiety/panic. I'm ready for a change. Again any advice would be wonderful. Thank you.

From what i experienced anxiety cant be fought. Its a lost fight. The only solution is to forget it. Just cancel it from your mind. How you do that? Still a fucking mistery, but u can start slowly to change the pattern of your thinking. Its like you planted a bad seed on your brain. That will still be there but if you plan some good seed around it you wont be able to see it anymore. You will focus on the other things. Human psycho is strange, as we tend to give importance to the bad things and they arw hard to forget. Focus on your child, dedicate your life to him or her and eventually you will heal.

[alex42]

As the title says, I've had anxiety now for about 7 years and this is the first time writing about it, so any advice would be much appreciated......

I think I've always had more than the normal anxiety due to being raised in a very abusive household. However, it really surfaced and became unmanageable about 7 years ago when I was put on ankle monitor for breaking the law. I was sentenced to 4 months with a few hours of "free time" every Thursday. The first couple of weeks I used them, but after that I started getting depressed to the point I didn't leave my apartment when I could. I started to lose my hair and the first time I started drinking.

From then to now it has evolved to a few different things. I use to get "bloated" after I would eat anything. So going to restaurants and eating with people I had the same excuse, I wasn't hungry. Then it went to after eating I would be bloated and feeling like I was going to get sick up to an hour after I ate, even after drinking water sometimes. I went to the doctor and they said "here take some antidepressants and you'll be fine"(which made me horribly dizzy). All my blood-work came out fine. For the last few years I now have a fear of going out because I don't feel well almost all the time(constant anxiety/pressure/upset stomach) especially after bowel movements(like I have the flu). My bowel movements are almost always soft, but not diarrhea. I drink a lot of alcohol which helps with the anxiety of going out. A trip to the mall without fear and sober would only be a dream.

I've tried working out, no caffeine, no yeast diet, no spicy foods, no sweets, no junk food, vitamins, fish oils, gut bacteria, and probably forgot some stuff. Diatomaceous earth and fish oil slightly help.

I'm 32 and going to be a first time farther. I've just recently missed my baby's ultrasound because of anxiety/panic. I'm ready for a change. Again any advice would be wonderful. Thank you.

Anxiety/panic is "the fear of fear"... From my experience. I understand the 'not wanting to leave the house'... I also understand the self medicating with alcohol. Which is not a great thing to get in the habit of. I'm sure you're aware of that.
Anxiety/panic is irrational. If you really think about it, it is funny. We put ourselves through hell for nothing. Be it guilt, frustration, etc... But it all comes down to FEAR. So, I guess the question is: What are you afraid of? (I ask myself the same question) ... Death? Well, we all have to go through that one day. No exception. So ... What else could it be?

[Im-Suffering]

I shall step in and give you empowering advice then. Since what I say will be a SHOCK to your system, (I am preparing you for it ahead of time) I SUGGEST MULTIPLE READS. And if you don't get it, print it and discuss it with another viewpoint who is able to bring you out of the clouds enough to see clearly for a bit :




Any advice would be much appreciated......

1) I think I've always had more than the normal anxiety due to being raised in a very abusive household.

2) I drink a lot of alcohol



1) Own the childhood. Release the blame, shame, guilt, resentment, anger. You can only get rid of what you own. In the powerless position of victim, you cannot do much of anything other than lament over your grief. However, with responsibility and ownership you are empowered (FEEL IT) and can release what you wish, including the trauma and emotional pain of the past.

You cannot go to the department store and say "These shoes are my friends and I don't know where they come from, but I want to return them here (IE: I was abused ((victim)) and its not my fault ((denial- repression - suppression - blame)))". You can only return what you own. Taken further you say "I have anxiety (most of my issues) in large part from an abusive childhood, I am certainly a victim" A victim is in the process of blame, and has not yet made the decision to forgive, (accomplished by OWNERSHIP), and release his pain. There is POWER in OWNERSHIP, which not only includes physical items, but items in your own psyche.

What you really wanted, and want now, is love.

You then say:

"But It was not my fault, why should I own those experiences?"

Because if you don't, you will keep them, no exceptions.. And live with the anxiety until you pass on. And you know what? Even then youll be anxious and continue the cycle reborn with the same problems to face. In those terms there is no reprieve from your sentence. You simply MUST heal, at some point. It IS thy purpose, in ANY life, period.

KEEP OR SELL. But you MUST own first. Deny, turn from, run away, play helpless victim, and you will be chased by the demons of the self for all of your days, and not know why.

2) Stop the alcohol at once. You must love your body. That includes your liver, you understand. You will be no service to your child with a diseased liver and associated health issues. After a few drinks run those blood tests again for liver enzymes. Combine that with the avg food intake of triglycerides, cholesterol and saturated (hydrogenated) fats, sugars and you have a dire recipe. A healthy diet is not to be 'watched', for results, rather as an overall approach that over 'time' reaps its rewards, 'silently'.

Now, I tell you to own your life, EVERY INCH OF IT, period. Because this not only will empower you (own something and FEEL IT), but it will raise the awareness of the self and its vehicle (the connection). Vehicle is your body. Example : If your oil light comes on in the car, you will change the oil or let it die (awareness). In those times when the light is off , you do not intentionally beat the car up to trigger the light. The beliefs of the individual are likened to that oil light, when they are false beliefs, you beat yourself up even during health, in a sense, *expecting to see that malfunction light illuminate. This is what you are doing, through consumption and self-loathing

Now the connection between beating up the body is in the powerless suppression from abuse. The pre natal time now (before your own child is born) is to be spent healing the psyche, and learning to own your life, the good and the bad. Giving you the power needed to release and begin anew at the birth as the father you always dreamed of, as opposed to re-enacting with your child the father figure you had, period.

In those terms, the new soul (your child) is counting on that. The beliefs you instill will direct its life, be AWARE, now. So what you do, you do purposefully, and not willy nilly or haphazard. A teacher, a guide, a mature being, acting lovingly.

And thus this message is life -giving, as an edification to not pass down the sins of the father, so to speak. I do hope you READ THIS MULTIPLE TIMES, and 'get it'.

Blessings to a bright, uncluttered, joyful, responsible, future in which each experience is OWNED by you, and of course the fulfillment of fatherhood (give yourself, and your inner child the chance at happiness, that you were never given, you see), period.

[Im-Suffering]

Lets break this post down, since on the surface it 'appears' logical. With the response bolded:


From what i experienced anxiety cant be fought. Its a lost fight. -

The concept of a 'fight' with an 'enemy' is the same one used by race, religion, and nations at war. Anxiety is part of you, and so the war is with the self, and in such beliefs the psyche must split into two camps, defining the side to be attacked. In any case this is theatrics, and games, there is no enemy. Anxiety is meant to be HELPFUL in isolating false beliefs and systems of ideas in your mind, as for example the antibodies try to regulate the body. In all cases, whether virus of the body or mind, the 'dis-ease' is latent (however always 'present) until psychologically the beliefs activate it. In those terms, there is no invasion from an outside force.

The only solution is to forget it. Just cancel it from your mind. How you do that? Still a fucking mistery. -

The solution is to OWN IT. Only what you own, can you decide to let go. Accept responsibility for it, OWN IT, face it, examine it, and heal it. DO NOT push against, deny, or attempt to forget.

but u can start slowly to change the pattern of your thinking. Its like you planted a bad seed on your brain. That will still be there but if you plan some good seed around it you wont be able to see it anymore. You will focus on the other things. -

In this analogy, the bad seed will infect the stability of the whole garden, and eventually you will have just brown patches instead of a healthy lawn. Again using this analogy, you must OWN THE SEED, and then decide to pluck it up and replace it. Cancer, tumors are highly symbolic physically of this garden that over time overgrows, (cellular multiplication), and so you have to cut out the weed or if the beliefs are strong enough, cut out each plant one after the other. If it was not seen as an enemy, again, this type of symbolism would be done in the mind (plucking the bad thought) rather than having a physical manifestation (cancer as one example) of errant thought, period.

Human psycho is strange, as we tend to give importance to the bad things and they arw hard to forget. -

BELIEFS. You cannot forget your beliefs, they are indeed AUTOMATIC. Of course they are given importance, they are your ideas about yourself and life - FACTS as seen from YOUR perspective. And so there is nothing strange in this process. The thought trail always leads to the belief systems, like a trail of food left in the forest to guide you out. And in that regard, beliefs are meant to lead you back home, by recognizing and clearing the bush and thorns in your way. Beliefs are HELPFUL - and so are the thoughts..

Focus on your child, dedicate your life to him or her and eventually you will heal. -

Eventually the child will wind up like the father, if the father doesn't heal. Thus the son carries on the sins of the father, in religious terms. Dedicate your life to YOURSELF, and healing every false belief about who you are, feeling good about the self, and eventually acting in ones own best interests and highest regard for the self, will be best for the family. One can not remain with false ideas (bad feelings and negative thoughts), ignore it, and hope to be healed by someone else. The work is by the self, on the self.

That is all.

[Kuma]

To the OP:

Some of the advice you got here is pretty abstract. That does not necessarily mean it is useless. It might be useful to you. Or maybe not. I have no idea. But -- for what it is worth -- let me offer a few more concrete suggestions.

First, stop drinking too much alcohol. At best, it will act as a Band-Aid for anxiety. And ultimately it will exacerbate your anxiety. And even putting aside anxiety, excessive drinking is not good for you. You are going to be a father and you have an obligation to be sober for your kid. (It is no longer all about you...). I realize it can be tough to stop drinking -- so if you can't do it on your own, go to AA or seek out some other support to help you stop drinking excessively.

Second, don't accept that you will be as you are now forever. Some people with long term anxiety succumb to despair and just conclude "this is what I will be forever." Don't do that. Instead, commit to yourself that you will improve. Not overnight, of course. But don't accept a bad quality of life for you or for your kid. Commit to yourself that -- even if it is really hard -- you WILL get better. You say you are "ready for change." Make it happen. Don't give up.

Third, find a therapist or psychologist or psychiatrist and get some help. It is hard to get better alone. It is easier with professional guidance. Even if you don't want to do this, you have an obligation to the kid to be the best you can be.

Fourth, try to forgive wrongs that were done to you in the past. I know that is not easy. But resentment can drag us down. So try to let go of that -- if not for the wrong doers, at least for yourself.

Finally, consider whether all the various supplements are really such a good idea. Or at least discuss that with a doctor. Most of us can get the nutrition we need with a well balanced diet.

Best wishes.