Constant Health Fears

[briv]

Hi, I'm an 18 year old male from Canada and I've recently been reexperiencing anxiety after returning to my Winter 2015 courses in university. It all started when I thought I had a brain tumour because I had a hair pulling sensation on my head, for less than 20 seconds.

Normally, I'd try my best to debunk EVERY symptom and cause of a disease of any type I'm deathly afraid of contracting.

I had found that the results I found while searching had pointed me to that direction and started to read some of the symptoms, which made me feel even more scared as I had thought I had those very same symptoms. The symptoms I read were headaches (I would get a small, but short pain around my head and I would imagine that Ihad some form of pressure exerted. This lasted no more than 5 minutes), memory loss (I'm normally forgetful of small details and word for word memorization. I sometimes forget what I had planned next because I'm distracted or something just pops up, but then I remember it a second later), lack of coordination (I wasn't sure if my bad posture attributed to this, because as soon as I saw it, I became more self conscious about it), seizures (I experienced 1 sudden shoulder jerk and that was about it, it didn't last a whole second, but I did have a large coffee that day), nausea, and pain in hands and feet (which I did experience, but not too severely and I believe it occurred after I started using the exercise bike more frequently).

And just recently after 3 consecutive weeks of tests (I'm maintaining a 3.33 GPA), I began fearing heart attack/stroke symptoms. Even if I smell something different, I attribute it to a stroke. If I feel tingling for a second to a few seconds, I tense up, my breathing becomes hard and I think I'm about to die. (This started 2 years ago when I was 16).

Oddly, most of these symptoms only happen at home, despite having an extremely supportive family. I'm not sure why I don't experience them at school.


I know the most obvious answer is to see a doctor and I did, and they said my heart pressure and blood were fine, but I'm still attributing everything to serious risk.

The last thing that stresses me out is a friend who my other friends think is just stringing along and doesn't care about me and the communication I've had with that friend has been cut down to a minimum because I'm constantly thinking about the position of the relationship. I have experienced emotional surges from it as well, for example, if I'm happy I turn super happy, or if I'm sad about something irrelevant, I immediately think about that friend.

Has anyone experienced something like this, where it seems like you're constantly afraid of every feeling in your body?

[Polarlight]

It's super duper normal i think, and i could say many people would had experienced as what you had been gone through. Don't search on every symptom you had, but yeah your brain insist you to do so, so it's your job to be firm about yourself. About why it's only happen at home, it may because your supportive family had remind you about those symptom whereas at school your attention is distracted. So you must work your brain to manipulate it. Distract yourself when you at home with something else. Yeah, i know it is easier said than done. But no one can start the first step unless you. All the best dear. You sure can do it.

[Goomba]

Yup.

Part of my story.

http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?30789-My-Hypochondria-Was-The-Best-Thing-To-Ever-Happen-To-Me

[briv]

Goomba,

I gave it a read and I thought it was absolutely spot on and empowering to read. As I read it, I didn't expect to see that anxiety had a different interpretation to it as a motivator to change into being content with oneself. I'm currently reflecting on myself to find what I'm confronting though. I always thought I was abnormal because I constantly thought I was going to die.

[Goomba]

I'm glad it was useful.

But, don't misunderstand. It's not about growing to be content with oneself. It's about growing beyond simply being content to embrace your true self. Growing beyond developed idiosyncrasies that help us justify our dissatisfaction, to pursuing our dreams.

In my post, when I say that people who are content aren't as anxious, I am highlighting that a lot of people passively accept their circumstances, and naively accept watching television all day, every day, as a fulfilling lifestyle (a generalized example), while overlooking all the beauty in life.

I think a lot of us ( not necessarily you) at some point realize we are on the wrong track, or realize we have wasted a lot of life, or realize we need to make lifestyle changes to experience our dreams. This awareness challenges to address all of our old ways/"contentness" and grow beyond them, thus creating anxiety.

So, I guess it's about moving beyond content, and taking action towards fulfillment ( which can bring a sense of stability/being content , but in a different way than before).

If that makes sense?

In your post you mention thinking you are abnormal. That may be a good place to start soul searching. What makes that an issue? Normal is just a comparative societal standard used to tell everyone how they "should" be. Don't aim to be normal, it's not real. Aim to be YOU.

Your experience is your own, and that is a beautiful thing.

Let me know if I can help at all as you reflect.

[alex42]

Hi, I'm an 18 year old male from Canada and I've recently been reexperiencing anxiety after returning to my Winter 2015 courses in university. It all started when I thought I had a brain tumour because I had a hair pulling sensation on my head, for less than 20 seconds.

Normally, I'd try my best to debunk EVERY symptom and cause of a disease of any type I'm deathly afraid of contracting.

I had found that the results I found while searching had pointed me to that direction and started to read some of the symptoms, which made me feel even more scared as I had thought I had those very same symptoms. The symptoms I read were headaches (I would get a small, but short pain around my head and I would imagine that Ihad some form of pressure exerted. This lasted no more than 5 minutes), memory loss (I'm normally forgetful of small details and word for word memorization. I sometimes forget what I had planned next because I'm distracted or something just pops up, but then I remember it a second later), lack of coordination (I wasn't sure if my bad posture attributed to this, because as soon as I saw it, I became more self conscious about it), seizures (I experienced 1 sudden shoulder jerk and that was about it, it didn't last a whole second, but I did have a large coffee that day), nausea, and pain in hands and feet (which I did experience, but not too severely and I believe it occurred after I started using the exercise bike more frequently).

And just recently after 3 consecutive weeks of tests (I'm maintaining a 3.33 GPA), I began fearing heart attack/stroke symptoms. Even if I smell something different, I attribute it to a stroke. If I feel tingling for a second to a few seconds, I tense up, my breathing becomes hard and I think I'm about to die. (This started 2 years ago when I was 16).

Oddly, most of these symptoms only happen at home, despite having an extremely supportive family. I'm not sure why I don't experience them at school.

I know the most obvious answer is to see a doctor and I did, and they said my heart pressure and blood were fine, but I'm still attributing everything to serious risk.

The last thing that stresses me out is a friend who my other friends think is just stringing along and doesn't care about me and the communication I've had with that friend has been cut down to a minimum because I'm constantly thinking about the position of the relationship. I have experienced emotional surges from it as well, for example, if I'm happy I turn super happy, or if I'm sad about something irrelevant, I immediately think about that friend.

Has anyone experienced something like this, where it seems like you're constantly afraid of every feeling in your body?

I had EXACTLY the same fears at your age. And here and there throughout my life. I'm 42 now. Ya see what I mean? Nothing has happened to me. Not saying it won't, hahahhaha, we all have to go one day... BUT, after your doctor tells you your healthy, the rest is just fear. Fear of fear...
These are classic symptoms of anxiety/panic. Definitely.

[briv]

I had EXACTLY the same fears at your age. And here and there throughout my life. I'm 42 now. Ya see what I mean? Nothing has happened to me. Not saying it won't, hahahhaha, we all have to go one day... BUT, after your doctor tells you your healthy, the rest is just fear. Fear of fear...
These are classic symptoms of anxiety/panic. Definitely.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I still experience them a bit, but it feels like ever since I wrote what I felt down, the symptoms are in lesser degree that I'm rationalizing it to anxiety more often and panicking less by breathing in and out slowly.

And I'm going to take my reading week (1 week off school) as an opportunity to do serious soul searching and reflecting.

Thanks, once again. Your help has been much appreciated.

[briv]

I have also had recent events when I smelled smoke/burning for no more than a minute. I noticed that I smell them in social occurrences, but I'm still worried about those as I haven't consulted my doctor about them yet.

However, on two certain occurrences - I smelled a more burnt/smoky version of normal scents. When my toilet was cleaned, it had a smokier scent to it and in class, when a girl I was in a group project with sat down in front of me, her hair gave off a shampoo smell, but it smelt burnt like a hairdryer, but it turned into smoke after we talked to each other about the project. I'm very worried as I think that these are an early indicator to something, but have also read that anxiety makes electrolytes go crazy, causing our senses to intensify.

Did you guys have this mystery smell problem too?

[Goomba]

Yes.

For me I attributed it to myself. I felt as if my flatulence and body odor was smoky, and found a sort of cigarette smell that occurred with a lot of things I did.

My grandfather had colon cancer, and he smoked. So, specifically with the flatulence, whenever I smelled that smokiness, it reminded me of his smell, and I would use that as an affirmation that I was diseased.

Something in my psyche connected a reoccurring smoky smell with me being unhealthy, and I began to smell it everywhere. I remember getting wiffs of a lot of odd scents, actually.

If you fear that you will smell it, you will smell it.

Try to move away from seeking reassurance for every new symptom you get. Your anxiety experience is yours alone, and there will not always be a story that provides you relief exactly in the way you want it to, and that is ok.

Every time you google, or need to have something affirmed, you are feeding the anxiety and the patterns that keep it alive.

I'm not saying don't communicate, but try to avoid giving in to that need to be affirmed, reassured, to be so perfectly in control.

[briv]

I guess you're right about googling symptoms. I noticed that when I let these new feelings pass to try and focus and distract myself more, that I began to see past the anxiety. (I apologize for late post, I was taking your advice and trying to control my anxiety symptoms)

It feels different, but the self empowerment of looking at anxiety as a perspective to find yourself to be the person you want to be, feels comforting. What you said about giving in to the need of being in control was an extreme help because it did help me focus more efforts on reflecting and less on the fear side of thinking there's something wrong with me 24/7. The more I kept searching for symptoms, the more anxious I felt, because the internet has such a vast amount of information and most times, the search engine will lead you to thinking you're diseased since the search query contained tags of symptoms of sicknesses.

As for the reflecting part, I think I have an idea of what I need to work on, but I'm still unsure.

[raggamuffin]

I used to be addicted to Googling symptoms too. Then i realized simply inserting "Anxiety" in the Google search prior or after the symptom I could trace it all back to anxiety and stress. Goomba is right though, to overcome anxiety it requires a lot of introspection and tackling and challenging core beliefs to better yourself. I think this is why so many people can have anxiety for so long, they don't realize that we control our anxiety and instead they fear anxiety controls them. They simply cope or learn to live with the anxiety instead of addressing the root causes.

Ed

[Deist]

Rule #1: do NOT Google your symptoms and then read about them on WebMD or MayoClinic. Those two websites will have you scared to death as they typically jump to the worse case scenario. If you suspect you have a medical issue going on, do not try and diagnose yourself. Go see your doctor and trust the tests they do. Your bloodwork, liver enzymes, O2 levels etc. will have tell-tale signs if something is amiss.

Rule #2: just because John Doe has such and such, and you experience similar symptoms, that does not mean you have what he has. Many illnesses, diseases and negative feelings have numerous, shared symptoms. Further testing will determine any issues.

Rule #3: don't live in fear of health issues and become a couch potato or bedridden recluse. Being sedentary is more damaging to your health than anything. At least get off your ass and go for a walk.

[nearlycured]

try homeopathy, I am sure you will be ok