tokophobia

[FuzzieSocks]

Hi out there. I was just recently researching this after a friend of mine brought it to my attention.
Tokophobia:is an extreme and uncontrollable fear of childbirth or pregnancy. While pregnancy is expected to be a time when women experience long bouts of anxiety, when they develop a fear of childbirth so intense that it disrupts their ability to lead normal lives or have a normal birth, they very likely have tokophobia.

If left untreated, tokophobia can only become more intense and damaging. Not only can this disorder lead to an elective termination of some pregnancies because of fear, but the psychological stress attendant with the disorder can often be damaging to a pregnancy even if the woman does not elect to terminate it. Furthermore, tokophobia may only be a byproduct of other emotional and behavioral disorders such as clinical depression. Some of the more apparent indicators of tokophobia include:

Feelings of dread or panic when the idea of childbirth or pregnancy arises
Refusing to go through with childbirth unless elective Caesarean section can be guaranteed
An intense increase in anxiety or depression while pregnant
Expressing a strong desire to have children while also refusing to become pregnant
Previous terminations of apparently healthy pregnancies
Intense fear that childbirth will result in maternal death


Read the Full Page: Tokophobia – Symptoms and Facts of Tokophobia – Treatment of Tokophobia
AllAboutCounseling.com

I googled this term.(Not allowed to post links yet for reference).

The reason we had the talk was because out of all the women in my family, and few "friends" that I have, I'm childless.
I've honestly taken Plan B (morning after pill) TWICE without even knowing if I was pregnant. Because you're supposed to take within 72 hours of having unprotected sex. I was in a committed 10 year relationship and I'm now 32. I haven't talked to therapist or OBGYN about it.
Does anyone here think they have have this is a result of their struggle with anxiety, depression?
I'm beginning to feel like I want kids/ but I don't. I love kids. I second guess my own ability to be a mother. I know anxiety can cause me to over-think. But I'd like anyone's input.

Thanks

[Im-Suffering]

Hi out there. I was just recently researching this after a friend of mine brought it to my attention.
Tokophobia:is an extreme and uncontrollable fear of childbirth or pregnancy. While pregnancy is expected to be a time when women experience long bouts of anxiety, when they develop a fear of childbirth so intense that it disrupts their ability to lead normal lives or have a normal birth, they very likely have tokophobia.

If left untreated, tokophobia can only become more intense and damaging. Not only can this disorder lead to an elective termination of some pregnancies because of fear, but the psychological stress attendant with the disorder can often be damaging to a pregnancy even if the woman does not elect to terminate it. Furthermore, tokophobia may only be a byproduct of other emotional and behavioral disorders such as clinical depression. Some of the more apparent indicators of tokophobia include:

Feelings of dread or panic when the idea of childbirth or pregnancy arises
Refusing to go through with childbirth unless elective Caesarean section can be guaranteed
An intense increase in anxiety or depression while pregnant
Expressing a strong desire to have children while also refusing to become pregnant
Previous terminations of apparently healthy pregnancies
Intense fear that childbirth will result in maternal death


Read the Full Page: Tokophobia – Symptoms and Facts of Tokophobia – Treatment of Tokophobia
AllAboutCounseling.com

I googled this term.(Not allowed to post links yet for reference).

The reason we had the talk was because out of all the women in my family, and few "friends" that I have, I'm childless.
I've honestly taken Plan B (morning after pill) TWICE without even knowing if I was pregnant. Because you're supposed to take within 72 hours of having unprotected sex. I was in a committed 10 year relationship and I'm now 32. I haven't talked to therapist or OBGYN about it.
Does anyone here think they have have this is a result of their struggle with anxiety, depression?
I'm beginning to feel like I want kids/ but I don't. I love kids. I second guess my own ability to be a mother. I know anxiety can cause me to over-think. But I'd like anyone's input.

Thanks

The real answer will contain great depth, and take into consideration your entire life, your beliefs, your ideas about who you are, both individually an in relation to your world views. Childhood will be considered, stored emotions, you caretakers, parents. How you felt as a child, what you were told, and the core beliefs you adopted about reality. Your facts and ideas. Expectations must be examined.

Now, it is not entirely 'their' fault, you see, as you came into this life with your own agenda, early conditioning reinforcing that to get a foothold for later experience. If you don't like how your feeling another words, through some mental work, you can make beneficial changes and see through the false ideas and lies you have told yourself, corroborated by how others seemed to confirm these core ideas.

So you see, the physical clock is ticking, and so you feel it now, however the clock in your case is not to trigger childbirth as much as it is to trigger the reasons into consciousness for the lack thereof, healing any false negative idea about who you are, and in that process, quite naturally flowing into the experience of 'mom' and a suitable partner.

You are meant to heal first, you see, emotionally, before heading out onto the highway.

This is a brief message, even for me, but not much else needs to be said. Of course I can give you a reading for hours with a little more personal information, but introspection into the selfs-mirror is what you need regardless of how far I take it, the work is yours to do.

[FuzzieSocks]

Thank you. Your reply was very helpful and insightful because I know I have many childhood issues. From divorce, abandonment, and neglect.
Many of what I had to deal with as a child (was not a child's place or burden to bare). I have began that process of trying to heal, meditate, and open my spirit to the why I feel this way. I think I know WHY but I don't exactly know how to heal. Those closest to me tell me that "time" will heal many of what I went through. I don't blame my childhood. I've been able to be what I consider "successful" but not "happy". I would measure success as career, reaching goals, etc. But I feel as though, Happiness involves emotions, feelings, family, and those are what scare me. It's okay for me to control my job, my possessions, but people aren't that.


So I see the reason why being a mom would trigger me to feel like I'm unable to control this. The older I get I realize what I can/cannot control.
But with the age, comes my "biological clock". I see women well into their 40's that have healthy labors and childbirth. I Really want to reach out and talk to other women like myself, (or men if this fits into that category - fear of getting a woman pregnant etc).

Nothing is too personal for me when I am trying to heal and self discover.
Please PM inbox me.

[Im-Suffering]

Thank you. Your reply was very helpful and insightful because I know I have many childhood issues. From divorce, abandonment, and neglect.
Many of what I had to deal with as a child (was not a child's place or burden to bare). I have began that process of trying to heal, meditate, and open my spirit to the why I feel this way. I think I know WHY but I don't exactly know how to heal. Those closest to me tell me that "time" will heal many of what I went through. I don't blame my childhood. I've been able to be what I consider "successful" but not "happy". I would measure success as career, reaching goals, etc. But I feel as though, Happiness involves emotions, feelings, family, and those are what scare me. It's okay for me to control my job, my possessions, but people aren't that.


So I see the reason why being a mom would trigger me to feel like I'm unable to control this. The older I get I realize what I can/cannot control.
But with the age, comes my "biological clock". I see women well into their 40's that have healthy labors and childbirth. I Really want to reach out and talk to other women like myself, (or men if this fits into that category - fear of getting a woman pregnant etc).

Nothing is too personal for me when I am trying to heal and self discover.
Please PM inbox me.

Don't be fooled by "time", it will bury it (trauma/emotions), but not heal it. Always the undercurrent of your life and you wont know why. You want to do the complete opposite of your well meaning (those closest to you) advice. Turn and face your beliefs, look into the mirror and stare them down. The result will be a clearing, emotionally, a healing. Remember, those "closest to you" are only 'close' because they corroborate your beliefs. Reinforcing the condition and experience. With 'new' beliefs about the self, will come 'new' friends, and 'new' experiences. Roads thus far not traveled but filled with opportunity and fulfillment beyond the current self imposed boundaries of the belief system in place.

The child (you) that lived through all that trauma was repressed and stifled, and still is. She needs to tell her story and be heard, and faced. Only then can her beliefs be exposed and questioned from an adults perspective, with her energies dissipated by your love and understanding. You do this in your imagination. Releasing the hurts, the false beliefs, the lies/ - requesting her story from her in regards to some current undesirable feeling will automatically raise into awareness the day of the event associated with the emotion. Allow the story to play out, validating her perspective (she was never validated), and then seeing the full picture from an adult perspective, releasing the hurt and changing the belief.

For example you may have been left alone on a crowded street at say 6 years old. What you told yourself that moment, on that street is paramount. "I am unloved, my mom left me, I must be so bad" is the conclusion from her point of reference (undeveloped brain as of yet and nervous system - incl. the reasoning faculties). You in truth may find mom lost you by accident or emergency, and later was reunited and loved kissed and cherished. At 30 years old, you have forgotten the love and kisses from mom, and even the event itself, but the undercurrent of your current life will be met with abandonment, and you will not know why. You will be left with emotional scars only, and that alone will wreak havoc on relationships until one day you enlighten to it and face it. The monster in this case was a puppy dog, you see, imagined and buried in fear. Still shaking today, as she shook that terrifying day. 24 years have caused the event to be forgotten you see, but to the soul and its journey, a hundred years is a stitch. In any case the emotions must be purged to discover another piece of the puzzle another facet of the diamond you call self.

The 'biological' clock is indeed ticking, but not so much to give birth (or what you suppose), but to find the personal fulfillment that lies beyond the fog and haze, - and so today and all that is currently happening is merely a trigger to kick off the journey of self work. Serendipity (has its own 'timing').

Facing self (even among the fear) will heal, no matter the 'time' that passes.

PM me if you wish and allow some time if it is a question.