Newbie Needs advice

[Junz]

Hi All,

I am new to this forum and was quiet glad when I found it, I am not really sure what im experiencing or whether its related to depression or anxiety.
However im hoping that someone could give me some information or relate to my problem and show me how to overcome it.

I generally suffered with Anxiety when I was younger,but get it every now and then - when I do feel my anxiety flare up it feels like my stomach is turning upside down and I get a very worried/fearful feeling, but its rare ( sometimes months apart and lasts between 1hr to 2days), I have also found ways to bring my Anxiety down and help me cope.

What I am struggling with at the moment is that I feel demotivated ( I have a bad manager and I think that contributes to the De-motivation ), I dont have the drive/passion I used to have, no spark - nothing really excites me anymore. I have constant feelings of been stupid , not good enough, I worry over silly things like the tone of my voice and I struggle to talk loud as im scared- like im scared of something.

One the biggest problems for me right now is my lack of focus and feeling completely useless - feels like my brain is not working - my focus is lost in a matter of minutes. Even reading text feels hard -I feel Hazy and confused all the time. what is wrong with me ?

In meetings -I feel like im the only one who doesn't know what it going on or confused

I have a great wife and family and I am able to be smart and feel secure around them - even my tone of voice sounds stronger/better when I speak to them - but this isnt the case when im around others- I automatically take on this timid stance and lower voice tone- it drives me crazy.


I am not on any medication, I am just taking a supplement called Solal burnout for stress

Please help me

[Godzillasaurus]

A few of your points I can relate to myself. During my anxiety highs, my interest and motivation plummets into the depths: during said periods, I lack the same excitement for certain things that I used to show heavy interest in (or at least show interest in when I am calm and/or happy). I too have issues with feeling inferior to others and feeling stupid; my brain "malfunctions" when I am having an attack and makes me believe the worst in EVERYTHING.

Usually my worries subside after taking some time to relax and talk to others on the forum. I suggest doing both of those things to relieve your tension!

[Im-Suffering]

Hi All,

I am new to this forum and was quiet glad when I found it, I am not really sure what im experiencing or whether its related to depression or anxiety.
However im hoping that someone could give me some information or relate to my problem and show me how to overcome it.

I generally suffered with Anxiety when I was younger,but get it every now and then - when I do feel my anxiety flare up it feels like my stomach is turning upside down and I get a very worried/fearful feeling, but its rare ( sometimes months apart and lasts between 1hr to 2days), I have also found ways to bring my Anxiety down and help me cope.

What I am struggling with at the moment is that I feel demotivated ( I have a bad manager and I think that contributes to the De-motivation ), I dont have the drive/passion I used to have, no spark - nothing really excites me anymore. I have constant feelings of been stupid , not good enough, I worry over silly things like the tone of my voice and I struggle to talk loud as im scared- like im scared of something.

One the biggest problems for me right now is my lack of focus and feeling completely useless - feels like my brain is not working - my focus is lost in a matter of minutes. Even reading text feels hard -I feel Hazy and confused all the time. what is wrong with me ?

In meetings -I feel like im the only one who doesn't know what it going on or confused

I have a great wife and family and I am able to be smart and feel secure around them - even my tone of voice sounds stronger/better when I speak to them - but this isnt the case when im around others- I automatically take on this timid stance and lower voice tone- it drives me crazy.


I am not on any medication, I am just taking a supplement called Solal burnout for stress

Please help me

The fear of criticism. Only you as you recapitulate your life can determine where the conditioning came from. Then you can understand it from an adult perspective and heal those false beliefs about who you are.

The fear of criticism robs man of his initiative, destroys his power of imagination, limits his individuality, takes away his self-reliance, and does him damage in a hundred other ways. Parents often do their children irreparable injury by criticising them. (Example) The mother of a child punishes him with a switch almost daily, completing the job with the statement, "You'll land in the penitentiary before you are twenty." He was sent to a Reformatory at the age of seventeen. Criticism is the one form of service, of which everyone has too much. Everyone has a stock of it which is handed out, gratis, whether called for or not. One's nearest relatives often are the worst offenders. It should be recognized as a crime (in reality it is a crime of the worst nature), for any parent to build inferiority complexes in the mind of a child, through unnecessary criticism. Employers who understand human nature, get the best there is in men, not by criticism, but by constructive suggestion. Parents may accomplish the same results with their children. Criticism will plant FEAR in the human heart, or resentment, but it will not build love or affection.

For your study, and enlightenment, burn this post into your mind. Now, I present to you the following:

SYMPTOMS OF THE FEAR OF CRITICISM

This fear is almost as universal as the fear of poverty, and its effects are just as fatal to personal achievement, mainly because this fear destroys initiative, and discourages the use of imagination.

The major symptoms of the fear are:

SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS. Generally expressed through nervousness, timidity in conversation and in meeting strangers, awkward movement of the hands and limbs, shifting of the eyes.

LACK OF POISE. Expressed through lack of voice control, nervousness in the presence of others, poor posture of body, poor memory.

PERSONALITY. Lacking in firmness of decision, personal charm, and ability to express opinions definitely. The habit of side-stepping issues instead of meeting them squarely. Agreeing with others without careful examination of their opinions.

INFERIORITY COMPLEX. The habit of expressing self-approval by word of mouth and by actions, as a means of covering up a feeling of inferiority. Using "big words" to impress others, (often without knowing the real meaning of the words). Imitating others in dress, speech and manners. Boasting of imaginary achievements. This sometimes gives a surface appearance of a feeling of superiority.

EXTRAVAGANCE. The habit of trying to "keep up with the Joneses," spending beyond one's income.

LACK OF INITIATIVE. Failure to embrace opportunities for self-advancement, fear to express opinions, lack of confidence in one's own ideas, giving evasive answers to questions asked by superiors, hesitancy of manner and speech, deceit in both words and deeds.

LACK OF AMBITION. Mental and physical laziness, lack of self-assertion, slowness in reaching decisions, easily influenced by others, the habit of criticising others behind their backs and flattering them to their faces, the habit of accepting defeat without protest, quitting an undertaking when opposed by others, suspicious of other people without cause, lacking in tactfulness of manner and speech, unwillingness to accept the blame for mistakes

[Ponder]

Hello and welcome junz.

I think Godzillasauras makes a good point:


Usually my worries subside after taking some time to relax and talk to others on the forum. I suggest doing both of those things to relieve your tension!

I'm getting somewhat better junz, but still suffer what your talking about to some degree. The tone of voice you recognize at home and then out in the street is quite an observation. Your on the right track to at least be seeing that. That's a step in the right direction. Well done for that.

My advice is to keep things simple and simply be kind to yourself.

It's advice people have been telling me for some time now and it actually works. If I could add anything to that, it would to to learn what real compassion is and try to view others in this light. The more we can all be kind to others, the easier it is to be kind to ourselves.
___________________________________________

I'm on a good run with doing that for now, yet have a history of falling off the rails. The good news is - the more I keep trying to be kind, the periods of where I find balance seem to be lasting longer - so to the peace.

I'm not sure how much of the Self Help - or re-searching you have done - as I would love to also add or try to explain more ... but I'm actually making good gains from not trying to answer every question that comes to my mind. I do contemplate them, but try not to find answers or a reason for everyone one of them. Just go for the big picture I guess.

Your self worth has taken a kick by the sound of it - what your talking about I know really well. I've only just now started socializing again. It's taken me a huge effort - meds, therapy and things like that have not all been that helpful at all - some has, some did but then did not - at the end of the day it's been ME who has had to put in the hard yards ... I'm a complex case with a severe history. {re therapists - I do find them helpful, however like the any doctor - it helps to be with ones that encourage and listen to what you want ... Talking with people who do listen and give good advice really helps ... I am trying to find another yet again because of the awesome lady I that had help me so much previously.}

The best advice to sum up on that note is:

Be kind to ourselves and learn to be compassionate to our triggers / to those things and people and ideals that set us off. Being kind to others regardless of how our mind prods us like so, is the best way to be kind to ourselves.

That way, even when I am still confused and have mixed emotions - I have confidence that's not found to be heard wavering when I talk. It's meter (speed, fluency and or comprehension is something else that will improve) Just feel for others if they don't have the time to listen and dismiss you for it.

I'f we allow ourselves to become so far flustered, we tend to encounter such types that will give us nothing but negative responses. "Get a Job" "Take a Pill" "Improve!" - once that kind of reaction to our fluster -> begins ... it only exacerbates our low self esteem.

Finding acceptance is something I'm told I look for tooooo much, however - whilst i can see where such a trait comes from ... for those of us whom have been rejected so often .... I think other elements worth more focus - is us learning to accept others.

I mean to say - I don't like it when others fob off my so called needy issues - they tend to demean my intention of wanting to fit in. Be careful of such people, they tend to drag you down. Those that mean well, I believe are saying we just need to accept those things we cannot change as well us others. The more accepting of others we can be, the more we can the accept ourselves as well.
________________________________

I hope some of that makes sense. I really don't know - I just try to do what feels right and deep down don't like treading on toes as I go. {Often I tread on myself and others - yet I do hold myself accountable by being honest [here I need to be kind to other and self] ... possibly my best trait to which again, others tend to pull down (I allow others) - such introspection is good ... but takes time to learn - I now learn to be kind to them and myself ... go with Godzillasaurus's advice on that one!.}

Keep on writing in places like these ... help me to actually say less and listen more in those places it really counts. :)

Hope you find this forum helps.

With much kindness and well wishing for you.
Peace Out,
Dave.

[Junz]

Thank you all for your kind Posts and messages,

The last few days have been really hard for me and I have been questioning myself and worth alot, I honestly feel useless and not worth anything.
It would seem that my wife doesn't understand and thinks I am been withdrawn and not loving to her - which just adds more pressure and unhappiness to my situation.

Right now, I find peace in prayer and encouraging myself throughout the day, I try and get lots of sleep but that actually just makes me feel more tired and drained out, what I find strange is that although my anxiety is on/off I have become a very timid/placid person over the last 10 years with the odd bout of excitement or happiness that pops it's head every now and then - ( I was very outgoing and kind of a loud mouth in the past)

I have bought Self confidence books - training videos etc and nothing really help shake that feeling - Its like all the information is useless - I then came across a website with an article about loving yourself and decided that I will try it - I can say that Im not used to doing such things (talking to myself and been compassionate to myself )but I started it - Its hard - my mind resists - It feels like a burden to do - Its been 5 days but im feeling like I can forgive myself Im hoping it will help me in the long run.

Here is the link, perhaps someone else can use it *edit* Cannot post links

tinybuddha. com/blog/transforming-self-criticism-stop-trying-to-fix-yourself/



I am taking St john worts (900mg) per day and I dont really feel any different, I am also taking multi-vits(Optimen) that have a wide range of amino acids and Vitamins ( D,B,C,A etc) which I honestly dont know if they are helping or not.

Would Exercise help me in any way ?

[Ponder]

Hi Junz -

I'm not a fan of "Self Betterment" Programs.

My readings I recommend are in my Signature at the bottom of my posts. Unfortunately I had to go through all the sales pitch garbage that keeps people coming back for more therapy, before I could here the message other books that really get to the core of the problem.

It's kind of the same with Medication for me as well. Only you can know whether it helps or not ... so I can't tell you what to do on that score. Every drug you take will also have side effects. That one you mention there, although considered natural - it causes light sensitivity among other things. Again - only you know how your body reacts ... so be careful going down that route - with regard to just taking other peoples word for what works and does not.

About the link:

It's hard to say. Either it resonates with you or it does not. That's how I go with what I find. Basically - it's using Buddhism in its own way. I have actually been researching Buddhism from a Buddhist perspective and find it to be a lot more than what most western sales pitches make it out to be. Not meaning to imply that link has the right or wrong idea. For me - it does not resonate that well ... and I also went all the way to the end and checked out the links which led to the all time SIGN UP pitch.

If the message was that readily understood (by your heart) and worked for you - I doubt you would have to ask anyone else what they think.

Just because it does not work for me, does not mean it won't for others.

Here's why it does not work for me:

Other than the fact it's aimed at very young people - (not that every young person who reads it will gell with it)

I've had low self esteem for so long and the severity of it has meant that I have been unable to love myself for a very very long time. That alone calls for a different approach to simply loving and being kind to myself.

FOR ME - > The answer it to learn how to be kind to others. I'm feeling the message in that link although on the surface is fine - it kind of fails with explaining how to be kind to self. "Love yourself" is such a cliche - I recently said in another post somewhere, that "...love is used like baby wipes ... easy to grasp when you need it, and easy to discarded when you've had enough of it."

There's a lot of shallow information floating about and it makes for easy reading. It's easy to write and sells as quick as most other short term fixes that require upping the dose as the years roll on. - that's why there is so much garbage floating about and it can be such a chore finding quality advice. There is nothing wrong with searching for good advice ... the message about "cease fire"with ourselves is a good message. My advice is to learn more about how our minds work -> and for that, I recommend ... searching for the Audio Torrent of "Eckhart Tollea's Book "The Power of Now" Listen to that about 3 times over - take a few notes in your mind for search strings and go check some of that out. You'll soon discover the deeper and more meaningful messages to be had - ect ect ...
__________________________________________-

Forgive my waffling on. Like I said, I'm a complex case ... however I do advocate living and thinking as simple as possible. In saying that though - It takes quite an effort ... to sustain those practices that help us build resilience to our Ghost Buster Marsh mellow Minds (lol - using the links analogy) ...

You can't just love yourself without first learning what love is. Love - just like the word God - has really screwed people over in the worst kind of ways. I have major issues with both and people fail miserable when advising others who've been burnt severely ... to simply pick those terms back up and apply them to self. That approach is flawed with many like me.

To get to that stage where your voice quavers in such a pit of self doubt - that terms like "pathetic and useless" -> not only come to mind ... but attracts the looks of others who are quick to confirm the jeering of that marsh mellow in your mind. NOW that is going to take something more than someone else's story and a pat on the back with a statement of one must love thyself.

I'm into sharing reality - not selling stories with a fluffy introduction and sign up at the end of page.

True compassion, goes beyond loving yourself. It's when your completely busted - but get back on your feet and take another step. I no longer so soldier on! - I give no regard to the bestowed terms of "Your so strong" - although they be given with well meaning intent ... to really let go of the so called baggage - requires actually lifting some weight. I think more in terms of helping others to ease their load.

Compassion meditation is helping me. It's more about giving my best to others ... if only in thought ... just adopting the right frame of mind without actually having to do anything - although it may sound like quite a lot ... I have said too much ...

I need to go write in my own blog. Your more than welcome to pop in _> say anything you like, continue to share links and so on. I've had a rather up and down (extremes) experience in this forum ... but pleased to say since coming off my meds and adopting this new approach (compassion and reading from a Buddhists perspective [not western]) at which I have tried to skim for you ... that things have been getting more hopeful for me.

Your welcome any time - no pressure .. it's where I best hang is all ... and I recommend others make a like wise space of their own. It really helps.
http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?30576-Keeping-It-Simple/page25

Srry if I am too confusing ... I do wish you all the very best though. I really connected with what you said about low self esteem and all.

[it's been unusual for me to venture outside my own thread - that;s where I am most at.]

Again ...

All the very best.
Dave.

[Junz]

HI
thank you for your post, I kind of hit the nail on the head, which makes me feel quiet despondent because I dont really know how to overcome it,

Do you have any other advice following your post on how i can beat this fear of criticism or steps i can take to make my life better, I am suppose to be a leader at work and home but I feel sidelined at my job because im too timid and dont engage.



thanking you in advance
The fear of criticism. Only you as you recapitulate your life can determine where the conditioning came from. Then you can understand it from an adult perspective and heal those false beliefs about who you are.

The fear of criticism robs man of his initiative, destroys his power of imagination, limits his individuality, takes away his self-reliance, and does him damage in a hundred other ways. Parents often do their children irreparable injury by criticising them. (Example) The mother of a child punishes him with a switch almost daily, completing the job with the statement, "You'll land in the penitentiary before you are twenty." He was sent to a Reformatory at the age of seventeen. Criticism is the one form of service, of which everyone has too much. Everyone has a stock of it which is handed out, gratis, whether called for or not. One's nearest relatives often are the worst offenders. It should be recognized as a crime (in reality it is a crime of the worst nature), for any parent to build inferiority complexes in the mind of a child, through unnecessary criticism. Employers who understand human nature, get the best there is in men, not by criticism, but by constructive suggestion. Parents may accomplish the same results with their children. Criticism will plant FEAR in the human heart, or resentment, but it will not build love or affection.

For your study, and enlightenment, burn this post into your mind. Now, I present to you the following:

SYMPTOMS OF THE FEAR OF CRITICISM

This fear is almost as universal as the fear of poverty, and its effects are just as fatal to personal achievement, mainly because this fear destroys initiative, and discourages the use of imagination.

The major symptoms of the fear are:

SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS. Generally expressed through nervousness, timidity in conversation and in meeting strangers, awkward movement of the hands and limbs, shifting of the eyes.

LACK OF POISE. Expressed through lack of voice control, nervousness in the presence of others, poor posture of body, poor memory.

PERSONALITY. Lacking in firmness of decision, personal charm, and ability to express opinions definitely. The habit of side-stepping issues instead of meeting them squarely. Agreeing with others without careful examination of their opinions.

INFERIORITY COMPLEX. The habit of expressing self-approval by word of mouth and by actions, as a means of covering up a feeling of inferiority. Using "big words" to impress others, (often without knowing the real meaning of the words). Imitating others in dress, speech and manners. Boasting of imaginary achievements. This sometimes gives a surface appearance of a feeling of superiority.

EXTRAVAGANCE. The habit of trying to "keep up with the Joneses," spending beyond one's income.

LACK OF INITIATIVE. Failure to embrace opportunities for self-advancement, fear to express opinions, lack of confidence in one's own ideas, giving evasive answers to questions asked by superiors, hesitancy of manner and speech, deceit in both words and deeds.

LACK OF AMBITION. Mental and physical laziness, lack of self-assertion, slowness in reaching decisions, easily influenced by others, the habit of criticising others behind their backs and flattering them to their faces, the habit of accepting defeat without protest, quitting an undertaking when opposed by others, suspicious of other people without cause, lacking in tactfulness of manner and speech, unwillingness to accept the blame for mistakes

[Im-Suffering]

Do not feel despondent, feel empowered. Because you are working toward resolution. Despondency is nothing but unresolved problems as you throw your hands up in defeat. As you will see, there is a reason for all of it, and I will attempt to break the ice here with you, for you. Your life is not about work, or even family, they are just mirrors and triggers, for you to heal every false belief about who you are. Your sole, rather "soul" purpose is to know self, without the crap and baggage by understanding that you are always meant to feel good. Should you feel bad about the self, that is but a mere pointer now, to uncover why, and change those false beliefs. The self is nothing short of beautiful, you see. Read on :


HI
thank you for your post, I kind of hit the nail on the head, which makes me feel quiet despondent because I dont really know how to overcome it,

Do you have any other advice following your post on how i can beat this fear of criticism or steps i can take to make my life better, I am suppose to be a leader at work and home but I feel sidelined at my job because im too timid and dont engage.



thanking you in advance

What was the triggering emotional event in your life that immediately caused a change in personality. One day you were an assertive outgoing loudmouth, and seemingly the next introverted, timid, shy, fearful and overly critical of yourself.

Find that day, that moment even in your imagination and tell me about it. That event is your link psychologically.

Now make no mistake, you were criticized and made to feel small and insignificant as a child. You felt often times unloved, unappreciated. And so the anxiety itself began long ago, latent for the most part although recognized. Life went on.

You overcompensated as you grew, took a second personality on so to speak, one that was stronger, protective, this second split was in response to the harsh criticism and maybe even some bullying and was meant at least psychologically as a big brother, of course both within the self.

Now one day, this strong personality faced an event that was highly charged with energy. For example because of its overbearing or outgoing nature to an extent it saw itself hurting someone, or getting into some sort of serious trouble, and so it stepped back into whence it came leaving the exposed underbelly of the ego to now fend for itself. So the criticized bullied, unloved, child stepped forward.

Now back to the first question. What was this event? You have access to them consciously. I told you to recapitulate your life.

There is also some guilt, blame, shame, because somehow you feel sorry for something you see, and that was not healed. It could be multiple experienced but either way, those feelings are behind the current identity, the ego springs forth from that polluted soil of false beliefs about who you are.

Lastly, you understand that even with your mistakes, the things in life you feel maybe you have done wrong, the hurts, the pain of loss resulting from your actions. And these are just examples, you are not meant to linger and self punish forever now, guilt will destroy you. Criticism will tear out your soul. You are meant to say " OK, I may feel this and that, I may have done this or that, I will not repeat my mistakes". The only reason why this persists as it does, is you have forgotten that you could let go, period. Now, the criticism comes from within, you see. You must understand, your life cannot change on the outside, unless you change the inside first.

Lastly, these two personalities discussed about remained separate, seemingly opposing they surfaced one at a time at different points in time. When you start to invest in the self or endeavor to heal the child within, you will merge these personalities, into so to speak a "complete psyche", and thus in your terms, become the man you often dream about. At work and home.

Open for questions if you have any, or PM. I have given you enough here, for now, to open a small crack, the door of the mind, allowing just enough light to stimulate some understanding. Don't hesitate to read thus post several times a day, perhaps before bed, and fear not now, what the mind brings forth. If the thoughts are scary, keep digging around, fearless, and accepting of them, they are only there as a blanket that serves to uncover the surpressed emotions. Just as " big brother" protects the weak. Superman, for example, on television, was symbolic of this inner split, along with its emotional conflicts and struggles. Often denying his own power.

Our paths have crossed because you have asked for it, and so the universe has arranged our meeting, it is not the first time, you see. I am returning the favor for an "old" friend. I am here to return power into your life, the same power felt in a hurricane is within each of you. In fact when you feel mother nature, you feel the self, period. That is who you are. Now I am not suggesting you are destructive you see, as all storms are rejuvenating, symbolic of an emotional release. You OP fear the self, in the same way you fear lightening. You fear your power, even as you feel it deep within. Only when this power is misguided because of repression do we have mental overloads. You must learn to use your innate energies wisely and for the good, you see, rather than fear and suppress them. On a side note, this is what your "superheroes" on TV are meant to personify (dueling psyche's). As you have always the battle over good and evil. In releasing guilt, blame, shame, and hate, you are left with love, and the "fight" is won..

This was typed on a small tablet, so forgive grammatical or type errors.

[Junz]

Thank you for your post, I have already started digging into the past feelings and its hard and sometimes i feel like i cannot find that place or remember.

Its frustrating and also brings up alot of hurt and hatred to myself because I feel like iv let myself down

[Im-Suffering]

Thank you for your post, I have already started digging into the past feelings and its hard and sometimes i feel like i cannot find that place or remember.

Its frustrating and also brings up alot of hurt and hatred to myself because I feel like iv let myself down

Allow it to come up, whatever comes. And feel it. Now, don't sit in it, or feel it, and move on with another task. You must release it. You are feeling the inner child, who up until now had no form of expression. Had suppressed you see. And so the child self will relentlessly reveal its thoughts over time, until the adult listened, period.

So you must validate. And listen, and release. You release by letting the story come, the story of the inception of self hate, the story of its hurts and pain. In your imagination. You must then see the story not only from a child's viewpoint, but an adult, and examine it for errors in thinking.

"I am unloved", " I am worthless", "I am bad" and so forth. The real story will surprise you as you understand the events experienced were translated by a child you see, with an undeveloped as yet ability to reason.

By changing the stories, your stories, you change the interpretation of the past, and with different meaning, the false beliefs lose their footing, replaced with new beneficial beliefs. (Ideas about self and reality).

Which is your goal, you see.

Begin to read my other posts, at night before bed, relaxed, guard down. Click the nickname and "view forum posts". This will take some time, over time. Or no time at all.

Blessings and light.

[Junz]

Thank you again, I apologize if i dont respond as i can only check in here every few days.

I have found myself in a dilemma, Im trying to dig into certain things in my past but they are so scattered that I dont know which memory im recalling to in order to change - eg I feel worthless... so i dont know where to start, I have both instances where my work and family made me feel worthless, so do i then recall both ?

[Im-Suffering]

Thank you again, I apologize if i dont respond as i can only check in here every few days.

I have found myself in a dilemma, Im trying to dig into certain things in my past but they are so scattered that I dont know which memory im recalling to in order to change - eg I feel worthless... so i dont know where to start, I have both instances where my work and family made me feel worthless, so do i then recall both ?

Yes.

One recollection will naturally, not artificially, lead to the next. By association, one memory will link to another attaching the same issue together, or bridging the belief. So you start with 'why do I feel so badly, worthless?', most likely you will start with recent memories and work backwards through time. Or you might start 10 years ago, Asa one instance pops in to mind, for example, but no matter when, work backwards, you want to get to the incipient event where the belief was created. After several attempts, you might find yourself in nursery school.

When you have released the belief, all associated experiences through time, and all bridged beliefs connected to the core belief will be gone. The usual triggers will feel neutral, no emotional reactions, no anxiety, in that regard. You may still have other beliefs you need to get at, that create residual anxiety. So it will take some work.

In simpler terms to your question, 'go with the flow'. Backwards and forward through time, you want to cleanse the psyche.

**important.. When you find these memories and beliefs, you must not just sit in them and brood, or think you are instantly healed just by recognition. You must find a way to release them. And change them to new beliefs. 'I am worthless' becomes 'I am worthy' and you feel it, and believe it, and act on it. If not, you will need to go back in, because the emotions are still negative, you still feel badly.

Releasing can be done in many ways, you might even invent your own method. Popping balloons and watching them whiz away, shoveling sludge from your body, cleansing it, throwing bottles messages away into the ocean.

You change the belief to a new one by recounting the memory from an adult perspective, realizing the child interpreted the experience in error. 'I was never really worthless after all, it was just my interpretation, my mom was frustrated at the dog, and took it out on me, I had it all wrong'. You see, yes, it's that subtle. Unless you were at the hands of intended abuse. In which case the trauma and stored emotions must be released, uncovering that within you, you are not inherently bad, you see.

Endeavor to start, and stop any mental masturbation you might play with yourself, back and forth where it stops you from getting started, recognize when that's happening.

That is all.

[occidental]

How is everyone able to make really long posts? Im havig trouble

[Junz]

HI Guys,

I met a life coach last week and it sounds promising , however she mentioned that she using NLP to change the way i think and break limiting beliefs - what are your guys thoughts on NLP, do you think it will be worth a shot ?

thank you all for your help

[gypsylee]

How is everyone able to make really long posts? Im havig trouble

Lol. Some people write longer posts than others ;)

Write as much or as little as you want.

[Vincent Miller]

I don't know a lot about NLP, but there are more usual things that may help, like outdoor sports, healthy food and proper sleeping.

[Kixxi]

Hi All,

I am new to this forum and was quiet glad when I found it, I am not really sure what im experiencing or whether its related to depression or anxiety.
However im hoping that someone could give me some information or relate to my problem and show me how to overcome it.

I generally suffered with Anxiety when I was younger,but get it every now and then - when I do feel my anxiety flare up it feels like my stomach is turning upside down and I get a very worried/fearful feeling, but its rare ( sometimes months apart and lasts between 1hr to 2days), I have also found ways to bring my Anxiety down and help me cope.

What I am struggling with at the moment is that I feel demotivated ( I have a bad manager and I think that contributes to the De-motivation ), I dont have the drive/passion I used to have, no spark - nothing really excites me anymore. I have constant feelings of been stupid , not good enough, I worry over silly things like the tone of my voice and I struggle to talk loud as im scared- like im scared of something.

One the biggest problems for me right now is my lack of focus and feeling completely useless - feels like my brain is not working - my focus is lost in a matter of minutes. Even reading text feels hard -I feel Hazy and confused all the time. what is wrong with me ?

In meetings -I feel like im the only one who doesn't know what it going on or confused

I have a great wife and family and I am able to be smart and feel secure around them - even my tone of voice sounds stronger/better when I speak to them - but this isnt the case when im around others- I automatically take on this timid stance and lower voice tone- it drives me crazy.


I am not on any medication, I am just taking a supplement called Solal burnout for stress

Please help me

Does this mainly occur at your job? Or when you are done working?

[Junz]

Mainly at work and at some social interactions with new people