My Best Friend Doesn't Tell People I'm His Best Friend

[OutdoorHiker]

So... My best friend invited (I should say kinda told me haha!) that I'm going on a trip next year w/ him and his other friends that live in another town. The thing is... what caught me is that he said to them that he's inviting a friend to come along with them. The thing is... that got me to thinking... I realized he never refers to me to anyone as his best friend.... whenever I talk about him to people I always refer to him as my best friend.... am I think into this a little too much? I think I'm just so use to not being this close to a friend that I probably am..

[Dahila]

Is not "friend ' enough for you? Why best? Friend is friend best, and he invited you, is that not enough?

[OutdoorHiker]

Is not "friend ' enough for you? Why best? Friend is friend best, and he invited you, is that not enough?

That's true... Very true... IDK. I guess I'm just not use to having any true friends.

[nf1234]

I am sure he considerings you a good friend but how long have you known him? For me my best friend is someone I've known since childhood. He will always be my best friend even though I have many other good friends. If you haven't known him all your life, the "best friend" spot is probably already taken by someone he has known for a long time. No difference though. It is just a title. Friends are friends.

[Dahila]

Not necessary best friend would be someone from childhood. I met someone when I came in Canada to live here, and my beautiful bokser attacked her small dog, We looked at each other and that it, We are best friends, the best I had ever had for over 23 years:))

[NixonRulz]

I have a hard time understanding this post. Like I said in the previous similar thread, I don't think most guys call each other "best friends" after the age of 8

Guys say "my buds". " my dudes" "my crew". And if you live da thug life, "my posse"

I just think he is a normal guy that doesn't put so much thought into the mushy, jealous stuff that girls get so hung up on. (Dang. I am going to get lit up for that comment but I think it's true)

I think you just have fun with the whole group and not worry where in the pecking order you are because most likely, he doesn't even think about who is where in that order

[ctb1988]

I never refer to any of my friends as best friends. I really don't have a single best friend, and if I did, I wouldn't want to hurt the feelings of my other close friends. Perhaps he didn't want to hurt anyone of his other friends' feelings? Or maybe he just doesn't think in terms of "best" friends?

[OutdoorHiker]

I never refer to any of my friends as best friends. I really don't have a single best friend, and if I did, I wouldn't want to hurt the feelings of my other close friends. Perhaps he didn't want to hurt anyone of his other friends' feelings? Or maybe he just doesn't think in terms of "best" friends?

everything yall are saying is true! i mean I've known him for almost a year now and he has become my closest friend I've had... but everything you have said makes sense...

[Joe.]

Instead of using the word 'best', use the phrase 'close friend/friends'. He'll most likely consider you a close friend and that for me would be more valued than if he said "this is my best friend". You might find he used the term 'friend' loosely, he was just shortening the title, in the context it might have sounded weird saying "I'm taking my best friend with me as well". Just a thought.

I'm terrible with anything social as well, I always over analyse how people treat me and why, and what people think of me, but I shouldn't do that.....See this trip as an experiment to see if you enjoy the time even more if you 'go with the flow' and not to think to much! It's all habit, so once its stopped being practiced it'll become very hard to fall back into that thought process; forcibly make yourself change in that way, maybe?

[Kuma]

Seems to me the terminology is totally irrelevant -- best friend, friend, close friend or any of the silly words Nixon suggests (buds, crew, posse, etc.).

The point is not the words that you use, but that you should have reasonable expectations of your friends -- especially a friend who you have only known for one year.

You can have lots of friends. And your friend can have lots of friends. Indeed, that would be good for both of you.

[jessed03]

Seems to me the terminology is totally irrelevant -- best friend, friend, close friend or any of the silly words Nixon suggests (buds, crew, posse, etc.).

The point is not the words that you use, but that you should have reasonable expectations of your friends -- especially a friend who you have only known for one year.

You can have lots of friends. And your friend can have lots of friends. Indeed, that would be good for both of you.

I'm guessing the guys above were implying that attitude should naturally change along with terminology.

For what it's worth OP, most people in life won't give you the validation you require. You'll find you're a lot more peaceful if you're able to go through yours without needing these kinds of gestures. Few are even on this type of wavelength, so you'll be disappointed often. We're all built very differently.

I know it may sound like simple advice, but there are times in life when you really can just... stop looking for things you know you won't find.

[JustaGal]

I have a hard time understanding this post. Like I said in the previous similar thread, I don't think most guys call each other "best friends" after the age of 8

Guys say "my buds". " my dudes" "my crew". And if you live da thug life, "my posse"

I just think he is a normal guy that doesn't put so much thought into the mushy, jealous stuff that girls get so hung up on. (Dang. I am going to get lit up for that comment but I think it's true)

I think you just have fun with the whole group and not worry where in the pecking order you are because most likely, he doesn't even think about who is where in that order

or "dawg"......