New Member

[djsimendinger]

Hello!

I'm Dana and I'm a junior in college. While I have never been diagnosed formally with anxiety I tend to avoid large group situations mostly because I find them overwhelming. I also sometimes don't like eating in public or being out in public because of the feeling of being judged. I also worry a lot and tend to make things to seem worse they then actually are. Like, if I have something on Thursday that I'm dreading, I'll keep worrying about until right when I get there. I also have trouble falling and staying asleep. While this isn't super bothersome, I joined this site to get some help because I'd like to be a more confident person. As for other things I like, I like: crochet, Harry Potter, music, reading, a lot of bands, fan fiction, crafts, playing board games and more. Hoping to get to know a lot of people here!

[Kuma]

Hi Dana. Welcome. The fact that you have not been "diagnosed" with anxiety probably does not matter much. A diagnosis would not change anything -- other than give a formal "label" to what you are sometimes feeling.

Anyway, anxiety is a spectrum, as I see it. Some people are so burdened by anxiety that they cannot function, cannot work, cannot to go school or even leave the house. They are, essentially, disabled by anxiety. Other people -- and it sounds like you are in this category -- can function just fine, can attend to your responsibilities, pursue interests, etc. but just wish they would be a bit more confident or worry less.

So I would say this: Don't get too anxious about your anxiety. It can sort of build on itself if you do that. That does not mean you should not try to increase your confidence, worry a bit less, etc. But don't let it get you too upset.

Having said that, there are things you can do to reduce your worry, get better sleep, become more confident, etc. Meeting with a counselor might help. Most colleges and universities have a counseling office, and often the counseling is free. Meeting with a counselor might help. I am not sure this needs to be long term psychotherapy, but just someone to talk with and offer you some practical suggestions.

Best wishes.

[djsimendinger]

Hello!

I actually am meeting with a counselor at my school's counseling center so I'm glad you suggested that. and thank you for the message explaining anxiety and that i don't need a formal diagnosis (I absolutely hate bloodwork which is usually needed) :)

[Kuma]

It would not be a blood test. There is no such test for anxiety, unfortunately. Instead, it would be a professional's evaluation of whether -- based on his/her observation and what you tell him/her -- you meet certain criteria set forth in a book known as DSM-V. (There are different diagnostic criteria for different types of anxiety). But anyway, you don't need to be "diagnosed" with anything (unless you need a diagnosis for insurance coverage). Instead, you just need some advice about how to worry less, be more confident, etc. You are taking the right step by talking with a counselor. Regarding sleep, you might want to google "sleep hygiene" -- you will see some good suggestions about how to sleep better. If it does not work, there are pills that can help with sleep. (I take them on occasion). But try non medical approaches first.

[djsimendinger]

I have melatonin that I occasionally take but I'm hoping to not use medicine either because I don't want to be dependent on something. And thanks for all your help/advice!

[andydroid]

I wish I could be a more confident person too. Do you just want to be able to stand large groups or do you have an idea in mind of the kind of confidence you want?

[djsimendinger]

Hello! Definitely with large groups as I get overwhelmed and am kind of sensitive to loud sounds. I also would like to be a more confident person in general because I think that holds me back from doing a lot of things and maybe that will help with my anxiety.

[Saber_Wing]

Hi, Dana! I definitely relate a lot to the things you're saying. I worry a lot about things, dislike crowds (though I tolerate them for job/social reasons) and have trouble falling asleep. I'm also huge on fanfiction. I've been reading and writing it for around ten years now, so you've definitely found a kindred spirit :). As far as confidence goes, I have plenty of that on my good days, and I can't really say how I came by it. It sort of just...happened. All I can really suggest is to accept yourself, flaws and all, and to do the things you love as often as you need to. It's important to be good to yourself. It can be hard sometimes, especially depending on how bad your anxiety is. It's easy for it to take over and blind you to the good things. I know it happens to me when something triggers me.

Anyway, best of luck on your journey! I'm always here to talk if you need to.

[djsimendinger]

Hello!

Thank you for your message and all your advice! It means a lot to me. And while I haven't published or posted any fan fiction online, I do like reading it a lot. And yes, I agree, I have good and bad days in regards both to anxiety and confidence. Is there anything you do to have good or bad days? And yeah, if you ever need someone to talk to message me! (that goes out to everyone on this site too)