TW4569
01-21-2015, 04:09 AM
I don't know how to describe it, but some time within the last week it feels like 'a switch was flipped' and everything feels different somehow. Nothing actually has, but it seems that way. I look around at my surroundings and think, "Something has changed, something's missing" but there are no actual changes I can put my finger on. I still read and post on the same forums, read the same kind of news, but I still feel 'disconnected' or something like that. I'm also suddenly feeling more nostalgic than usual (see the last post in my other thread) and I'm thinking about the past a lot.
It's worth noting that my sleep cycle has been extremely messed up during the same time period. I've been going to bed at, like, 7AM, reading and watching videos for several hours, then I fall asleep at 9:30 or 10, waking up at 4-4:30PM. A few times, I've tried to stay awake through the night to reset my sleep cycle, but I end up falling asleep in the morning and sleeping in late. Now I just do that every night/morning :/ .
For some reason, I don't really want to go to sleep. Even if I'm tired, I try to keep myself occupied. When I'm laying in bed trying fall asleep, my mind goes over all of the things that make me sad and I;m afraid of having that happen. I have to keep myself awake until I'm absolutely exhausted so there's very little time to think. I suppose this could contribute to feeling weird.
Since waking up at 4PM during the winter means I spend most of my 'day' in the dark, could it be seasonal affective disorder? It's also worth noting that I quit my antidepressant (properly) about a month ago. I had 5 or 6 rough days, than I was back to normal. This new stuff only started about a week ago.
I realize this thread really has no structure, but I guess I just need to get my feelings out there.
It's worth noting that my sleep cycle has been extremely messed up during the same time period. I've been going to bed at, like, 7AM, reading and watching videos for several hours, then I fall asleep at 9:30 or 10, waking up at 4-4:30PM. A few times, I've tried to stay awake through the night to reset my sleep cycle, but I end up falling asleep in the morning and sleeping in late. Now I just do that every night/morning :/ .
For some reason, I don't really want to go to sleep. Even if I'm tired, I try to keep myself occupied. When I'm laying in bed trying fall asleep, my mind goes over all of the things that make me sad and I;m afraid of having that happen. I have to keep myself awake until I'm absolutely exhausted so there's very little time to think. I suppose this could contribute to feeling weird.
Since waking up at 4PM during the winter means I spend most of my 'day' in the dark, could it be seasonal affective disorder? It's also worth noting that I quit my antidepressant (properly) about a month ago. I had 5 or 6 rough days, than I was back to normal. This new stuff only started about a week ago.
I realize this thread really has no structure, but I guess I just need to get my feelings out there.