I don't know how much more I can take..

[glimmer2525]

This morning I woke up particularly anxious, and not feeling too great overall. Which sucks, because yesterday I felt ok for the most part.

I'm trying here, really I am. I'm reading book after book, have quit my job until further notice so that I can heal properly, and am pretty much covering all my bases at getting my life back. I've collected all kinds of information about supplementation, and my last resort is my appointment with a naturopath next week (I really can't wait for this appointment, I'm hoping to be thoroughly lined out instead of just having my symptoms simply masked with the standard anti anxiety and anti depressants).

ANWAY, in the meantime, I've been trying to take good care of myself. I've been juicing, getting plenty of sleep, trying to eat every couple hours to keep my blood sugar levels in balance. Today I tried to step it up a notch by going outside and getting some sunshine and fresh air, since it's a particularly rare lovely day for this time of year. I walked around for a little bit outside, came back in, and guess what happened?! A full blown panic attack. Just great. So once again, my heart was climbing rapidly and I was scrambling to find my meds, all while gasping for air and hoping I don't faint before I can swallow the med. Fantastic way to spend an afternoon :)

2 days ago my boyfriend and I attempted to go to the movie theater. Unfortunately it was a packed house and I could feel my heart rate was a little fast, but I wasn't alarmed just yet. In hindsight I should have taken my meds before I went in, but as usual, I learn things the hard way. Then, my boyfriend said the exact thing he shouldn't have - "You sure you can handle this?"... and my mind immediately went to "Uh oh, maybe I can't.." then I suddenly felt really hot and claustrophobic and declared that we must get the hell out of here. He didn't hesitate, just got our tickets refunded while I walked back to the car feeling so pissed off at the world, and myself. We spent the rest of the evening bored as hell.

Even with this medicine in me right now, I feel awful. I don't know if it just hasn't kicked in yet or what, but I feel like I could either puke or faint. Possibly both.

Just venting here.. I think I will keep this thread up regularly, as kind of a "journaling" experience to document my progress or lack thereof.

Edit: I accidentally originally posted this in the Depression forum but would like to keep the thread going in General Discussion. So if you stumble across this twice, I apologize for my error!

[gypsylee]

This morning I woke up particularly anxious, and not feeling too great overall. Which sucks, because yesterday I felt ok for the most part.

I'm trying here, really I am. I'm reading book after book, have quit my job until further notice so that I can heal properly, and am pretty much covering all my bases at getting my life back. I've collected all kinds of information about supplementation, and my last resort is my appointment with a naturopath next week (I really can't wait for this appointment, I'm hoping to be thoroughly lined out instead of just having my symptoms simply masked with the standard anti anxiety and anti depressants).

ANWAY, in the meantime, I've been trying to take good care of myself. I've been juicing, getting plenty of sleep, trying to eat every couple hours to keep my blood sugar levels in balance. Today I tried to step it up a notch by going outside and getting some sunshine and fresh air, since it's a particularly rare lovely day for this time of year. I walked around for a little bit outside, came back in, and guess what happened?! A full blown panic attack. Just great. So once again, my heart was climbing rapidly and I was scrambling to find my meds, all while gasping for air and hoping I don't faint before I can swallow the med. Fantastic way to spend an afternoon :)

2 days ago my boyfriend and I attempted to go to the movie theater. Unfortunately it was a packed house and I could feel my heart rate was a little fast, but I wasn't alarmed just yet. In hindsight I should have taken my meds before I went in, but as usual, I learn things the hard way. Then, my boyfriend said the exact thing he shouldn't have - "You sure you can handle this?"... and my mind immediately went to "Uh oh, maybe I can't.." then I suddenly felt really hot and claustrophobic and declared that we must get the hell out of here. He didn't hesitate, just got our tickets refunded while I walked back to the car feeling so pissed off at the world, and myself. We spent the rest of the evening bored as hell.

Even with this medicine in me right now, I feel awful. I don't know if it just hasn't kicked in yet or what, but I feel like I could either puke or faint. Possibly both.

Just venting here.. I think I will keep this thread up regularly, as kind of a "journaling" experience to document my progress or lack thereof.

Edit: I accidentally originally posted this in the Depression forum but would like to keep the thread going in General Discussion. So if you stumble across this twice, I apologize for my error!

Hey there :)

Well it sounds like you're doing absolutely everything you can to help yourself - good work!

I felt pretty anxious today when I woke up too, for no reason at all. Waking up has always been difficult for me anxiety-wise. It's not as bad as it used to be (especially when I was drinking) but I still get feelings of dread and all I want to do is go back to sleep. I find once I do a few things it eases quite a lot but those first ten minutes or so are pretty intense.

All I can suggest is you keep doing what you're doing and hang in there. Keep venting and feel free to message me :)

All the best,
Gypsy x

[jessed03]

Sorry to hear you're going through that. I think we can all recollect that period in our lives when the struggle was almost more that we could tolerate.

What medication are you taking. I couldn't find that info in your post. Is it a benzo or an AD?

I think you're doing well to be honest. I know that doesn't count for much, but mentally you're way ahead of the curve. Trust me, people really fall apart when they get this condition. Think 4 trips to A+E in one night.

There are plenty of great people here to help, like gypsy ^. It really can be nice to vent, or distract yourself. Distraction works great, but I know it's not always possible. So many people have said they felt better just talking about everything to people who get it.

On a side-note: have you had any blood work done recently? Sometimes, for whatever reason, things such as thyroid, B12 etc. can become out of whack leading to some nasty anxiety. It's always great to get all of the obvious stuff checked out before going on any regime full of supps or meds.

Stay strong anyway! Hit me up with a PM if you ever wanna talk... or if you get bored of gypsy... ;)

[gypsylee]

Thanks jessed.. I think! ;)

[glimmer2525]

Thanks you two for your responses! It truly helps to not feel so alone in this situation. And thanks for the encouragement :) I'm going to try harder every day to beat this thing but some days surely feel scary at times.

Next week is FINALLY my appointment with the naturopath I've been wanting to see (She's stays so booked, I had to make this appointment 6 weeks ago :(). In the meantime, at some point this week, I'm going to see my regular practitioner for updated bloodword that includes vitamin levels, especially D3.

Today, my boyfriend and I are going to attempt to see a movie again at the theater. I shall take my medicine beforehand. Hopefully it won't be so crowded today, considering its a weekday. Fingers crossed.

jessed03, I am prescribed both meds in small doses, but I'm only taking the anti-anxiety as more of a "rescue". I am trying to hold off on regularly taking an AD or anti-anxiety daily until I see what this naturopath might have to say first.

Today I've woken up a little anxious again. Seems like I'm breathing heavier than usual or something, kind of hard to explain.

Venting sure helps :)

[glimmer2525]

I did it! I was able to sit through a whole movie at the theater yesterday without freaking out lol. Small wins right now are really encouraging to me. :). I ALMOST went into panic mode when the movie first started, but it passed and I was ok. I did have to medicate beforehand but it was a very small dose and all was fine.

Now time to soak up some sunshine while the pretty weather lasts..