Kelsey2009
01-18-2015, 07:12 PM
Hello Everyone,
This is my first time posting here. I am hoping that just talking about the problems I am dealing with will help release some tension and anxiety. So a little history on me. I have always been a anxious, worrying, glass half empty kind of person with irrational fears. I can remember being young and riding in the back of a car with one hand on my seat belt and another on the door handle because I was fearful of getting into a car crash and being trapped. I was always afraid of driving, I didn't get my license until I was 19. I have always been an organized planning person, it just helps me feel as if I have everything under control. Throughout my life I have always been everyones go to person for help and support, funny. Although I have always had 'anxiety' I never had the debilitating physical symptoms and irrational thoughts i am now having. These started a year ago in December. I had my first panic attack for no reason at all, walked into work and BOOM! I called my boyfriend to come and get me and was convinced I was having a heart attack and dying. But obviously not dying. I had some issues for a few months and then life returned to normal. After I had my first panic attack I have always had this fear in the back of my head that I will have another one. Sometimes I feel like I create my own anxiety by thinking about my anxiety. So more recently...in September my anxiety came back full force. I have been dealing with all of the physical symptoms. Restlessness, chest pains and tightness, fatigue, all kinds of crap. And most recently I have this weird lump in my throat sensation or feeling like my throat is closing and I cant breathe but i can breath just fine it just feels like I cant. I have been having really irrational thoughts and recently convinced myself that I am having allergic reactions to bananas (Because this started after I had breakfast) but unless an allergic reaction last three weeks its not the banana. Its just crazy to me sometimes that I can talk to myself and know that my thoughts and feelings are irrational or i can feel completely happy and relaxed but still have the physical symptoms of anxiety. I think that is whats most frustrating because when I am not in an anxiety provoking situation and still feel the physical symptoms it makes me feel like something is really wrong and its not just the anxiety. I worry about my health alot so these fears land me in doctors office or ER a lot. Ive been to the ER enough for the nurses to recognize me. YIKES. but at times going to the doctor and being evaluated is the only thing that makes the feelings stop. I feel like i could 'talk' about how crazy i feel for hours. I try to talk to my boyfriend but he just doesnt understand and he tries to comfort me but usually he just gets frustrated because he doesnt understand. Well I think i am going to be done for now. goodnight world.
This is my first time posting here. I am hoping that just talking about the problems I am dealing with will help release some tension and anxiety. So a little history on me. I have always been a anxious, worrying, glass half empty kind of person with irrational fears. I can remember being young and riding in the back of a car with one hand on my seat belt and another on the door handle because I was fearful of getting into a car crash and being trapped. I was always afraid of driving, I didn't get my license until I was 19. I have always been an organized planning person, it just helps me feel as if I have everything under control. Throughout my life I have always been everyones go to person for help and support, funny. Although I have always had 'anxiety' I never had the debilitating physical symptoms and irrational thoughts i am now having. These started a year ago in December. I had my first panic attack for no reason at all, walked into work and BOOM! I called my boyfriend to come and get me and was convinced I was having a heart attack and dying. But obviously not dying. I had some issues for a few months and then life returned to normal. After I had my first panic attack I have always had this fear in the back of my head that I will have another one. Sometimes I feel like I create my own anxiety by thinking about my anxiety. So more recently...in September my anxiety came back full force. I have been dealing with all of the physical symptoms. Restlessness, chest pains and tightness, fatigue, all kinds of crap. And most recently I have this weird lump in my throat sensation or feeling like my throat is closing and I cant breathe but i can breath just fine it just feels like I cant. I have been having really irrational thoughts and recently convinced myself that I am having allergic reactions to bananas (Because this started after I had breakfast) but unless an allergic reaction last three weeks its not the banana. Its just crazy to me sometimes that I can talk to myself and know that my thoughts and feelings are irrational or i can feel completely happy and relaxed but still have the physical symptoms of anxiety. I think that is whats most frustrating because when I am not in an anxiety provoking situation and still feel the physical symptoms it makes me feel like something is really wrong and its not just the anxiety. I worry about my health alot so these fears land me in doctors office or ER a lot. Ive been to the ER enough for the nurses to recognize me. YIKES. but at times going to the doctor and being evaluated is the only thing that makes the feelings stop. I feel like i could 'talk' about how crazy i feel for hours. I try to talk to my boyfriend but he just doesnt understand and he tries to comfort me but usually he just gets frustrated because he doesnt understand. Well I think i am going to be done for now. goodnight world.