Going to be left home alone for a week with my anxiety attacks :(

[Ambition]

So once again my parents are leaving me home alone for a whole week 7 days or 168 hours with agoraphobia and anxiety :(
Every three months they go to Spain. Last summer I was left for nearly 3 weeks. I managed to get through that but since then my agoraphobia has got worse and now I'm afraid to leave the village I live in :(

I just feel spaced out and unreal. To add to it I have toothache and my dentist is in the next town so I can go there until they get back. Tbh I don't mind the pain of toothache it distracts me from the anxiety :) but it's certainly saying something when you prefer toothache to feeling spaced out! Of course in that time my tooth could get worse and just hope my GP who has a surgery in the village should be able to prescribe antibiotics without visiting the dentist.

My main concerns are if I just continue to feel more and more spaced out and unreal that I may go mad or faint.

I just wish my parents didn't go on so many holidays every year. I need at least 6 months to relax and not have the anticipatory anxiety of them going away. With that I feel confident I could overcome my fears.

Any advice?

[Kuma]

I am sure you do not want your parents to miss out on a holiday -- or to feel guilty about taking it -- on account of your illness. They probably work hard and deserve their holidays.

What are you doing to improve your agoraphobia and anxiety? I ask that because unless you are a child, it is primarily your responsibility -- not that of your parents -- to take charge of your condition and take steps to improve it.

I hope this does not sound harsh or uncaring. It is not intended that way. But I learned from my own experience with anxiety that it won't get better until you say to yourself "This is my life and my problem and the only way it will get better is if I pull myself up and start taking concrete steps to make it better."

[Ambition]

I am sure you do not want your parents to miss out on a holiday -- or to feel guilty about taking it -- on account of your illness. They probably work hard and deserve their holidays.

What are you doing to improve your agoraphobia and anxiety? I ask that because unless you are a child, it is primarily your responsibility -- not that of your parents -- to take charge of your condition and take steps to improve it.

I hope this does not sound harsh or uncaring. It is not intended that way. But I learned from my own experience with anxiety that it won't get better until you say to yourself "This is my life and my problem and the only way it will get better is if I pull myself up and start taking concrete steps to make it better."

I agree I should not be so harsh on my parents. For my agoraphobia and anxiety I'm still waiting to see a psychotherapist and for CBT there is such a long waiting list. I'm reluctant to use meds because they make the symptoms worse for up to 6 weeks and don't work for everyone, plus I'm afraid of being dependant on them.

Anyway thanks for your reply :) and yes you're right I should not make my parents feel guilty.

[trinidiva]

I agree I should not be so harsh on my parents. For my agoraphobia and anxiety I'm still waiting to see a psychotherapist and for CBT there is such a long waiting list. I'm reluctant to use meds because they make the symptoms worse for up to 6 weeks and don't work for everyone, plus I'm afraid of being dependant on them.

Anyway thanks for your reply :) and yes you're right I should not make my parents feel guilty.

I agree with Kuma. It is incredibly hard....but only you can start to make the steps to regain your life back. You CAN do it, you must believe it though and you must really WANT to get better. It is very easy to take the easy way out instead of confronting your anxiety and agoraphobia head on...but just start with baby steps. Once you see that you can succeed at the small steps...you will gain more confidence to do more and more.

As far as the meds.......I have been there. I fought the idea of taking meds for years while I kept fighting and fighting anxiety and not really enjoying life. Finally, I decided to try it. I started with the smallest amount possible. I won't lie...the first six weeks were rough...but there were some AMAZING people on here who helped me through it...each day....and I felt SO much better by the time the sixth week came around. I am able to live my life....enjoy my family and friends....laugh and truly enjoy every day. I stopped taking it for a time with NO withdrawal symtoms or issues...then restarted when my anxiety came back.

Whatever you decide to do to work on your anxiety....please make the decision to reclaim your life again. It is uncomfortable and downright difficult some days....but when you do step out of your comfort zone and accomplish something you thought you couldn't do......it will be the best feeling ever.

Good luck to you.