Anxiety after baby and moving

[siriusdreamer]

Hello everyone! I really need to “connect” and get some advice. I’ve struggled with anxiety my entire life. Without going into too much detail, I’ve experienced a lot of death from a very young age of the majority of my family members. My mother, who raised me as a single mother and was my best friend as well as my mom, died a few years ago, followed shortly by the death of my closest friend whom I had known since I was 5 years old. I share this information not in a “woe is me” way – after all, everyone has experienced trauma in their lives and mine is no worse than anyone else’s grief. However, it has certainly affected my current anxiety. I worry about death. It’s so final, and many times it’s preventable. I’m obsessed with it, to the point where I am scared to drive in places I’m unfamiliar with. You see, this has become a real issue, as a month ago I moved to a big city in a new state where drivers are quite crazy and aggressive compared to the little town in California I was living in before. The crime here is terrifying to me (highest violent crime rates in the entire US)– I grew up in a small, close-knit town and this is so different from what I’m used to. The weather is different. The people are different. I thought I was more resilient than this, but I’m so overwhelmed. It doesn’t help that I don’t know anyone – I’m taking online college classes full-time and staying at home with my baby, so I don’t get to interact in real life.

I have a lovely husband and a new baby girl. She is the light of my life and I am so crazy in love with her. I haven’t had any signs of post-partum depression, but I do worry that hormonal shifts have made my anxiety worse.

I’m reaching out to this board because I find myself taking Norco every day (just one tablet) from my supply from after I gave birth. I don’t have any physical pain, but when I feel like I’m about to have an anxiety attack, I take it and it mellows me out. I know this is a dangerous road to go down, and that’s why I’m here. My family had a lot of issues with addiction - alcoholism runs in my family, so I don't drink at all. Sometimes I wonder if perhaps I actually have bipolar – some days I have a lot of hope and I’m on top of the world, and other days I’m overwhelmed, scared, and terrified to even go outside. It’s inconsistent, but that could be due to hormonal shifts.

I know I need to work out more and eat better – it’s hard to work out here, since I’m not used to freezing temperatures and I was very much used to a routine in California where I would go running outside almost every day. The weather was perfect, even in the winter, and I loved it. I want to go back so badly. I have such a hard time with change.

If anyone has any advice whatsoever for me, please let me know.

[jessed03]

Hey Siriusdreamer!

What's tough about anxiety is that it can often be a logical emotion. There are so many uncertainties in life and in death that I often wonder what's going on in the heads of those that don't seem anxious. :)

Given what you've been through, it sounds like you have an adult predisposition to the mental crap: anxiety and depression. I don't think you're bipolar however, but that's just an internet opinion!

Anxiety can really rock the boat, and once the boat's been rocked, everything feels like it's out of balance. It can be hard to rein everything back in again. The best advice I can give you right now given that you've just had a baby, you've recently moved, and you're struggling with emotions, is to lower your stress levels. Lower your base anxiety level, then see where you're at. Cos it's way too high right now. I don't need to wire you up to a machine to know that!

The two ways I would recommend you do that are:

1./ Learn the cognitive thinking errors, and make sure you aren't committing too many daily. We all are, and they really do have a big effect on mood.

You can find the list here: http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-cognitive-distortions/0002153

2./ Meditate. It's easy. It's free, and you can start today. It's the best relaxation therapy in my opinion, and will help you release some stresses you have built up. You can find great guides online, or if you need one just shout.

Work on the above two things for a month, then see how you feel. At some point I think you'll also have to face the anxiety attacks too. But for now, relaxing your body and preventing more stress from building up in your mind will make a difference. Stick with it. Then where to go next should become clearer.