1Bluerose68
01-06-2015, 04:38 PM
My job is one where I never know where I will be from day to day. I have been earning the same flat rate for the past 7 yrs and before that I only earned 1/2 of what I do now. Sound like an ASVAB ? well that's how I feel as perplexed about my future and about my financial inability to feel secure from month to month in not being able to put money away into a savings account every month.
There is never anything left from paycheck to paycheck. And of course the answer ius well work more days per month. But my problem is that some-days my anxiety is worse than others. Last night I could not sleep very well so being that I felt extra anxious and did NOT wish to participate in any form of night binging or reading in the mid of the night if I couldn't sleep. So I just took a few of my anti-anxiety rx's and could not wake up in time to down a breakfast, coffee, and see where I was needed for the day.
Well there were 2 PE assignments available however, after the rx from the night before, the last thing I wanted to do was to teach an outdoor PE class. No jumping jax for me, no sir! I need to sleep, then I find myself having nightmares. I had 1 about attending a huge assembly w/ my class and feeling like I was going to suffocate from the anxiety. Well---that's the current gist of my, "LIFE."
I just applied for an evening retail job for eves and weekends. Also I am interviewing for a care-taking position for the weekends for an elder. But sometimes, I just feel so nervous about my future and never being able to save enough money up, that I just want to go to sleep and NEVER wake up.
Never want to worry about another stressful day worrying about the future and whether I will be able to pay for a new house rug to prevent my asthma from acting up, or enough to pay for the roof in 5 yrs from now that will need re-doing. And I also forgot that my car is getting very ancient and I will need a newer one in a few years too, just to get me to work, and in some cases to even be good enough to interview for a job?
I'm scared and want to be responsible but feel powerless currently , except for 1 choice? Go figure?????
There is never anything left from paycheck to paycheck. And of course the answer ius well work more days per month. But my problem is that some-days my anxiety is worse than others. Last night I could not sleep very well so being that I felt extra anxious and did NOT wish to participate in any form of night binging or reading in the mid of the night if I couldn't sleep. So I just took a few of my anti-anxiety rx's and could not wake up in time to down a breakfast, coffee, and see where I was needed for the day.
Well there were 2 PE assignments available however, after the rx from the night before, the last thing I wanted to do was to teach an outdoor PE class. No jumping jax for me, no sir! I need to sleep, then I find myself having nightmares. I had 1 about attending a huge assembly w/ my class and feeling like I was going to suffocate from the anxiety. Well---that's the current gist of my, "LIFE."
I just applied for an evening retail job for eves and weekends. Also I am interviewing for a care-taking position for the weekends for an elder. But sometimes, I just feel so nervous about my future and never being able to save enough money up, that I just want to go to sleep and NEVER wake up.
Never want to worry about another stressful day worrying about the future and whether I will be able to pay for a new house rug to prevent my asthma from acting up, or enough to pay for the roof in 5 yrs from now that will need re-doing. And I also forgot that my car is getting very ancient and I will need a newer one in a few years too, just to get me to work, and in some cases to even be good enough to interview for a job?
I'm scared and want to be responsible but feel powerless currently , except for 1 choice? Go figure?????